The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with Dorit, busily planning a party for PK’s birthday. Boy George is set to perform, and Dorit is plotting to keep the highlight a big surprise. Bravo jets us over to Mykonos, to check in with Kyle and Erika, who are enjoying a gorgeous sea view. Erika’s performance is at 3 am the next morning, and the gals plan to party the wee hours away. Kyle gushes over Tom’s grandhusbandly support, and Erika reminds her that the dance queen fund is payoff for years existing as a buttoned-up lawyer’s wife. The “feminine energy” is off the charts, as the ladies swap stories about careers and family. Kyle shares some memories about her mother, admitting that Big Kath was quite the crackpot. Erika tosses Kyle some sympathy, before calling Tom to thank him for bankrolling the trip.
Back in California, Eileen, Rinna, and Dorit meet up to rollerblade, hoping to reset their tattered friendship. The gals giggle and teeter, before Dorit gives Rinna a heads-up, letting her know that Kim will be coming to the party. Rinna appreciates the consideration, making a mental note to triple up on the meds that night. The trio phones Kyle and Erika, and Eileen manages to maturely squelch her fangirl jealousy.
The hour has arrived for the big show, and Erika’s glam-squad is preparing her to puss-pat for a Greek crowd. The stage is on a cliff, and Erika is ready to swan dive into overseas fame.
We jump back home, where Lisa is allowing Eden to darken her rosy doorstep. Eden opens by dishing some dirt on her cringeworthy dating life, dragging Lisa into some ridiculous story about a smoker who dares to love hamburgers. Tag on Eden’s Type-Cray personality — and it was three strikes, he’s out. Lisa’s menagerie reacts like a rabid tattooed wolf had entered their space — and Bravo cameras capture their spot-on reactions. Lisa looks puzzled, and her nutcase radar begins to blip.
The ladies address Rinna’s inappropriate jab at Kim, and Eden gloms onto her sister’s sad story again, working to define her own reality. Eden claims that she never “explored” her sister’s death — she just talks about it every chance she gets. Eden shares what triggered her shift to sobriety, and her dream to enlighten losers everywhere with her magnificent insight. Eden diagnoses Kim as an alcoholic — old news to the Bravo audience. Eden “knows” that Kim is struggling — those couple of hours spent in her presence more than enough time to form an astute analysis. Eden disses Kyle, and Lisa defends her friend, through more of Eden’s senseless babble.
Back in Mykonos, Mikey is leading a dicks-up prayer, before nudging Erika’s nervous butt-cheeks up the cliff ladder. Erika lip synchs her hits, and it’s more of the same-old, same-old.
We next get a looksie at Eden’s house — and let’s just say it’s not what we are used to visiting in Bravo’s 90210. Eden’s son, Tyler, is introduced — a lively and boisterous lad. Dorit arrives, and Eden welcomes her with her signature squeeze of death. Dorit invites Eden to PK’s party, and Eden promises to give him an extra scary hug as a birthday gift. The ladies sip something called aloe water, as Eden wistfully remembers her boozier hostessing days. Eden whips up smoothies out of bananas and ice, and the barf-colored concoction is declared delish.
Dorit snarks that everything is better with vodka, but Rinna votes for Xanax. Eden cosigns, raising Dorit’s eyebrow. Eden “takes medication” — but strangely labels herself sober. Rinna busts out a baggie of pills and waves it at the camera, and Eden almost rips it open with her teeth in excitement. Rinna gives us the rundown of all the ailments that can be managed from her magic ziplock, as Dorit declares her a friend for life. The conversation is forced, contrived, and sounds rehearsed.
Erika Jayne’s show was flamboyant success, and the sun is just peeking over the horizon, as Erika, Kyle, and the entourage return to the house. Erika decides that it’s a perfect time for a photo shoot — so she struts, twists and contorts for the camera. Kyle does her best to play it cool, managing to keep her jaw from dropping onto the pool deck. Erika lures Kyle over to the dark side, and Kyle submits, arching like a ninny for the photographer. Erika is ecstatic, because Kyle is acting like a raunchy attention-whore, just like her. Kyle’s cool now, and Erika just wishes the bestie moment would never end. Somewhere, Eileen takes a break from her hairbrush mic to seethe with envy.
It’s the night of PK’s party, and Dorit is strategizing the perfect atmosphere. She walls off a chunk of the party space to hide George, until his big performance. We skip to a cute scene with Lisa, chatting with Kyle from her glam bathroom. Portia invites herself over for a sleepover with the horsies, and the ladies chat about party dresses, before we hop back to party central.
The fun gets underway, as the guests begin to arrive. PK shares a flirty moment with Lisa, clearly enchanted by the queen. Kim arrives, and Eden is immediately peeved that she isn’t feeling the love from her pet project. Kim admits that she has been worrying about her daughter giving birth, and Eden stupidly shades the natural process as a reason to fall off the wagon. Eden pushes hard, labeling Kim’s mommy anxiety as a trigger — rather than a natural instinct. Kim calls Eden weird, and points to Eden’s own apparent struggle with the alike-shakes.
Kyle arrives, and Erika shows off the duo’s glamour shots, scoring rave reviews. Camille appears, right before Dorit reads a dramatic love poem to PK. She introduces Culture Club, and George performs — giving all of the ladies a fun 80’s flashback.
Eden makes an early exit, probably due to the lack of crowd fawning, but forces Lisa and Erika to kiss her on the lips, as a grand finale exit. Kim and Kyle share a snippet of Eden’s lunacy with Camille — which Kyle kindly labels a “drama queen” act. Meanwhile, Dorit dishes to Lisa and George about Rinna’s pill bag, sneakily spilling the tea, while laughing it off. Lisa doesn’t know what to think — and the plot thickens.
Next week, it’s more parties, a soapy rehearsal, and Eden continues to come for Kyle.