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‘RHOA’ Recap: Kandi Burruss Goes Off on Porsha Williams Over Anger Management ‘Piggyback Your Ass Up’

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

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Hello Real Housewives of Atlanta fans! We are in Flint, Michigan with Thelma and Lakeisha! They are ready to right all the wrongs of the water crisis. Having said that, the camp is beautiful and the water the children are swimming looks clean, so one less crisis to solve!

Back in Atlanta, Porsha and her Todd meet up for a drink. Todd has some issues he needs to share with Porsha. You see, he works for Trump supporters and because Porsha was flaunting herself on social media at the DNC and at the beach, Todd had to make a choice, and he chose Porsha – which is code for – he’s now unemployed. Porsha is pissed. Who’s going to pay for all these kids she’s ready to pop out? Cut that grinning and grow up, Todd, will ya? Porsha recognizes this is a red-flag, but time will tell if she’s ready to put her brain before her booty call.

Kenya wakes up at camp and is ready to embrace the kids. First she must endure a lecture from Phaedra about her cleavage. Of course Phaedra ain’t one to talk what with her second-skin leggings. It’s showtime for Kenya. Fun fact: it took Kenya three times to win Miss USA. But here’s the takeaway, when things get tough, all you have to do is twirl. And strut. And be fabulous. 

Back at camp, Phaedra is doing the zip line and singing chants with Kenya and the girls on the river. Next up is the talent show and everyone’s got talent. Then some of the kids share sad, tearing jerking stories of tragedy and misfortune. They are crying and Phaedra and Kenya are hugging, encouraging the kids to let it out. Kenya says the camp was cathartic for the kids, but it was cathartic for us too. It’s nice to see some positivity within the negativity that can sometimes accompany the Real Housewives. Well done ladies.

Sheree and Bob are going out on another awkward date. Did you know they once got kicked out of Spain? Bob tossed wine at Sheree and Sheree popped a cork of whoop-ass into him. Tonight though, Bob chose to recreate their trip to Paris since the French didn’t kick them out. However, the date is painful to watch. Bob gets on stage and performs a dance with a feather boa. Bob is not a showgirl, no matter how much he sweats. But Sheree is into it. Will Bob be moving into Chateau Sheree? Will anyone be moving into Chateau Sheree?

Next we visit Porsha at home because she’s been experiencing fainting spells. According to the doctor, Porsha is fainting because there’s not enough blood flow to the brain. Girl, we all noticed that four seasons ago, but glad you finally got the diagnosis. Anyway, Phaedra calls and wants to get the girls together for dinner. After that, Todd stops by with ice-cream and orchids. Porsha tells him her fainting spells are caused by stress – caused by him – caused by his quitting his job and his being needy. Porsha says, get a J-O-B or its O-V-E-R. Todd rolls his eyes like he’s 15.

It’s dinner time! The ladies arrive dressed to the nines, except for Kandi. She’s dressed like a picnic table. Phaedra suggests the ladies go glamping, now that she’s an official camper. Kenya is worried about Porsha turning into grizzly bear and attacking everyone. Kenya asks how the anger management is going. It’s going…none of your damn business, says Porsha. Kandi is also concerned about Porsha Ali. But don’t you ask Porsha about her medication. She says, if y’all were so concerned, where was your damn phone call? Kandi tells Porsha she better piggy back her ass up.

So Porsha walks out – once she adjusts her leather skirt so that she can walk out of there – and Phaedra, Kenya, and Sheree follow her out to the parking lot. Porsha tells Kenya to piggy back her ass back inside because she’s not a friend. When Kenya won’t leave, Porsha hops in her car and peels out of there. Kenya is like, I’m not comfortable camping with the likes of her. And Sheree is like, Bitch, you provoke people, too. This leads to comparing Matt to a man Sheree once dated, though Sheree says she doesn’t know who that is. I wonder if police will be called during this glamping trip.

While Kenya is walking like a duck around the parking, demonstrating she’s on Sheree’s level, Porsha returns. But then everyone leaves, except Phaedra and Sheree. Phaedra deduces that Kenya is immature, not malicious. And Porsha thinks “Frack is falling for the Whack.”

Phaedra outright lies to Porsha that she hasn’t been running her mouth to Kenya about her, but then Bravo shows a flashback proving Phaedra did. Porsha is also very upset with Kandi and her “piggy back her ass up” comment and that’s why she’s wearing all back, y’all. She’s dressed for a funeral. Girl, bye.

Tune in next week when Cynthia breaks girl code and tells Matt that Kenya is a drama queen.

 

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