Sister Wives begins with a rewind of Mariah’s sexuality shocker. The women gasp, but Janelle is relieved, because being gay is way better than battling cancer. Christine’s mother immediately reacts like she already knew, and Robyn and Janelle have a mini girl party. Meri and Kody don’t appear so thrilled. There’s no girlfriend in the picture, and Mariah explains that this tea has been a long time coming. Mariah explains her “process,” and how she had to learn push away religion, and plural fear. Kody disturbingly wants to know the dirty girl crush deets, and Robyn shuts him up, by asking Mariah for more appropriate info. Mariah points to a college psych class and a gay classmate as the catalysts, along with a “random” impulse to date a girl. The family is super proud of Mariah’s ricocheting thoughts, and her tear jerking bravery. Kody is happy that Mariah is accepting who she is, and hopes to get the real dirt when the cameras shut down. Meri is quiet, confused, and hurt that Sam-Fish distracted her from knowing her daughter. Mariah high-fives Robyn for making gay cool, rubbing salt in Mare’s wounds. Meri and Kody embrace their daughter, but stop short of clicking their heels together on the way out of the room. Kody has prepared for this moment his whole life, and is thrilled for a TLC closeup to capture his breathtakingly noble affirmation.
Meri finally comes clean, and admits that she feels badly about Mariah’s unrecognized struggle. The catfish drama has broken their communication, so Mare resorts to a three way convo with Kody and Robyn to seek clarity. Kody selfishly forces the wives into structured seating, and Meri breaks down over Mariah, and her uncomfortable butt cheeks. Meri feels bad that she can’t share in her joy, and is bothered that she can’t be happy. Kody offers us a brief counter sermon, and Robyn shares that she was simply thrilled to be given a reprieve from Mariah’s scowl. Meri wants grandkids, but Robyn reminds her that she is living in a land of sperm o’ plenty, and it will all be fine. Meri shares her mommy thoughts honestly, including the idea that she will never have a son of her own. Robyn tells her to cheer up, because 2 wombs are better than one, and there are more than enough grubby boys to go around. Robyn is doing her best to counsel Meri off the ledge, assuring her that the more wives the better.
Robyn is gushing tears with joy — and encourages Mare to knock off the panic, and fake a smile. Mare hates that Sam made their mother/daughter love stink like fish, and stifles her annoyance over Robyn’s stellar acceptance skills. Kody advises Mare to be light and fluffy, not intense and obnoxious. Meri just hopes that Mariah’s newfound joy will cancel out the fact that her mom is dragging out her catfish storyline into eternity.
We abruptly switch gears, and learn of another upcoming family vacation. The gang is heading to Utah, to get to know Tony, and give Mariah a chance to discuss her homosexuality with a million other relatives. Truely’s commentary should be a doozy. They arrive, and Janelle is thrilled at the plyg-chic layout. Mariah is rocking her new lesbian look, and the family guffaws at the hilarity of Caleb and Maddie’s rockin’ sex life. Meri swoops in on Mariah, planted like a TLC sitting duck, and corners her into a convo. The vibe is awkward, because Mariah only really likes to talk to Robyn. Meri admits that her reaction was lame, but Mariah isn’t buying her phony pep talk. Meri hopes to one day get her daughter, and is worried that Mariah may judge her rookie-level understanding. Mariah has already spilled all that she wants to, but Mare pushes for more depth, minus the bitchy edginess. Meri wants into her daughter’s baseball cap world, but Mariah just isn’t ready. Meri yammers about lost wedding plans, shifting the spotlight to her. The duo debates the meaning of “weird,” including the idea of creating kids without a penis. Meri rambles on and on, and Mariah just wants to escape. Mariah shares that her mom met her lamest expectations, which triggers another round of repetitive blabber. Mariah just wants her mom to shut it, and quit pushing. Mariah is still fuming at her mother, and is clearly hanging onto something — likely Mare’s blatant dishonesty about the summer of the Fish.
In a disturbing effort to lighten things up, the family holds a creepy wedding between Solomon and his mother. The rollicking inbred spontaneity helps ease the tension, and their vacation lodging brings back the good ol’ days of living together. Mykelti and Tony are making dinner, and authentic quesadillas are on the menu. They almost blow up the kitchen, but Christine is just thankful that they aren’t holding french kissing seminars in the back room. Breanna kicks up the nausea by mixing guacamole with her grubby mitts, and Mykelti is thrilled that the meal means that she has a shot at being a successful Mexican. The dinner is a hit, and everyone proclaims Mykelti and Tony the most super fabulous couple in the world. The paw-prepared food gives Christine an AHA moment, so all is good in the land of immature love. Tony is perfection — and as a bonus, he’s a guy.
Mare and Robyn later discuss Mariah’s general crabbiness, and Robyn labels it a delayed bout of teenage angst. Mare knows that she has no chance, until she comes up with some new “terminology.” Robyn encourages her to not dump her emotional baggage on her daughter, and Mare decides to build a wall and beat Mariah to the rejection. Robyn gives us a rundown of her amazing ability to attract friends, evidently announcing her new head cult counselor status. They discuss walls, walls, and more walls, and Mare just hopes that she can build her’s faster than Mariah.
We get a briefing on Maddie and Caleb’s wedded bliss, Kody feeds us a bogus line about the couple’s collegiate lives, and Kody and Janelle bicker over who loves Caleb more. Mykelti crashes into a glass door, but luckily her hiking toned tummy cushions the blow. The ladies are put in charge of Mykelti’s wedding trimmings, and engage in a compelling debate about bridal hair.
Next, we eavesdrop on a dinner with the older kiddos, and grab a few rare moments with Logan and his girlfriend, Michelle. The couple shares that school and careers are their priorities, before the group gets down to the family gossip. The young adults share their views about Mariah’s news, and everyone is supportive. The episode closes with a day on the lake, and a family dinner. Truely hauls in the determined biggest fish, but Caleb makes sure to inform us that he really whooped that kid’s ass. The wives reflect on their emptying nests, and Meri whines a few more times about Mariah’s bizarre processes, and her issues with walls, walls, and more walls. Janelle believes that their adult children are super interesting, and after a few more kiddie reflections, our eyes are finally given sweet relief from Christine’s camo leggings and plastic boots.
Next week, it’s a family game night and The Newlywed Game — Sister Wives style — is on the schedule.