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‘RHOA’ Recap: Matt Jordan Threatens Kenya Moore & Punches Driver

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

We join The Real Housewives of Atlanta at the doggy-center with Kenya and Cynthia and a very nervous King. Kenya updates Cynthia that she and Matt are taking a break from their dating life to work on themselves. Then she informs Cynthia that Peter has asked her to host the opening of his new club in Charlotte. Kenya invites Cynthia to Peter’s party even though Peter didn’t invite her to his party.

Cut to Peter shopping for a Mercedes now that he’s single. In walks Todd who tells Peter to chill with the flashy stuff during the divorce. Peter doesn’t care that he can’t afford the $159,000 car, it makes for good TV to see Peter drive around in a convertible. Peter tells Todd he’s invited to the grand opening of Club One this weekend in Charlotte and will be hanging with Kenya and Matt, or will he?

Todd is now home with Kandi asking for her opinion on which of the three suits he should wear to Peter’s party. Kandi tells him the one with the bowtie looks like he’s going to sell bean pies with Phaedra’s fav group Nation of Islam. Kandi is just jealous that she can’t go to Peter’s party because somebody in that house has to earn a living. This weekend is all about the Bedroom Kandi convention since the OLG restaurant is draining them blind. But more trouble is on the horizon, y’all. An ex-employee named Johnnie is calling Kandi fake on social media. Sure, Kandi fired his ass, but he couldn’t handle the job – and Kandi is a job – but she’s tired of people (Porsha and Sheree) checking her inventory when they haven’t checked their own.

Up next is Porsha who is packing up her house and moving back home with mom. The story goes that Porsha wants a bigger house even though it’s just her right now. Tick, tock, tick, tock, go the sounds in Porsha’s head. She is ready to start popping out dem babies.

So, check this. Did you know Sheree wrote a book? Maybe that’s why Chateau Sheree is taking so long. For two years Sheree has been quietly penning a tell-all work of fiction called Wives, Fiancés, and Side-Chicks of Hotlanta. Just rolls off the tongue, right? Sheree is the main character in the book named Sasha with a side-kick named, Paris, who leads a “questionable nightlife” loosely based on NeNe Leakes. Order your copy now.

Over at the Bedroom Kandi convention, great news for same sex female partners. Kandi now has a gadget to pleasure both women at the same time even. Kandi acts like this is new to her and she didn’t order and design this thing herself. As Kandi does a final check with her team, in walks Johnnie. Kandi confronts him. Johnnie says he was feeling a certain kind of way because he was let go by Don Juan and wasn’t given a final conversation with Kandi. Kandi lets Johnnie have it, and though Don Juan tries to shut it down, Kandi just rolls over him and continues with the tongue lashing. Kandi says you can call her a bitch or an asshole, just don’t call her fake – or late to dinner.

It’s late at night and Porsha is sneaking her old/new boyfriend Todd into her mama’s house just like she did ten years ago. Shh. Don’t talk so loud. Whisper like you two are in a sexy library. Let’s face it, Porsha needs to work on her game. She breaks out the yoni egg and Todd is wondering if they’re having an omelet. Porsha then burns sage to remove the dust from her vajayjay. And if all else fails, why not pull out a can of whipped cream and fall off the bed. The born again virgin tells Todd she loves him.

Over at the gym, Sheree and Bob are working out together. Bob has to lose weight in order for Sheree to sleep with him, but he only wants to pop a few pills and drink a few health shakes to lose the weight. Since they are only getting hurt in the workout, Sheree takes a call from her editor asking if she’s made the final changes to the manuscript. No, of course she hasn’t. Sheree takes this opportunity to tell Bob about the book. Bob is only mildly concerned. Flashbacks of Sheree’s failed fashion career are shown.

Next we visit Phaedra who has a surprise visitor named Johnnie. Phae-Phae is salivating surprised to learn that Johnnie is there to discuss suing Kandi. Oh, please! Johnnie tells Phaedra before he was terminated, he wasn’t properly compensated for everything he did. And he just now remembered this? Phaedra tells Johnnie that slavery has been abolished, praise the Lord, but she doesn’t handle this area of law. Phaedra isn’t one to turn down coin, but obviously she doesn’t want that wrath of Mama Joyce coming down on her.

It’s one hour til Peter’s party and he has no idea Cynthia is coming. While Kenya and Cynthia are at the hotel getting ready, Kenya starts receiving angry text messages from Matt. According to her, Matt is having one of his “episodes” over being cut from the guest list and his free plane ticket cancelled. Kenya reads the threatening messages to Cynthia, freaking Cynthia out, and we learn Matt is driving to Charlotte. Cynthia asks Kenya if she’s afraid to go to Peter’s party and Kenya says her gut is telling her not to go to Peter’s party.

Peter’s party is hopping! Todd is there and in awe of the completed construction project. In walks Cynthia in her cream glory to break the news to Peter that Kenya is having issues. They go outside to talk alone, in front of the Club One sign. First Cynthia tells Peter he should have invited her to his party. Then she tells Peter about the “you’ll regret this” crazy text messages coming from Matt. Peter says he hasn’t seen Matt, and now doesn’t want to. Back inside, Peter and Cynthia argue over his appearance on the Wendy Williams show and how it was all Cynthia’s fault.

Kenya pulls up to the club just as Matt arrives. What are the odds? Matt walks up to Kenya’s car and Kenya tells the driver not to let him in the car. Next thing we hear, someone gets slapped. Turns out Matt “slapped” the driver’s “bitch face” for closing his neck in the window. Matt then jumps in his car and peels out of the parking lot. Everyone agrees, there is something wrong with that boy. Matt calls Peter and Peter explains they can’t chill now because Matt is cray. Matt claims he’s under the influence of Kenya’s manipulation. Meanwhile, Peter wants Cynthia to go back to his place which is conveniently three minutes away. Cynthia turns down Peter’s offer. Awkward!

Tune in next week when Matt gets more crazy, Cynthia and Kenya become homeless, Phaedra hosts a self-serving event “for the kids’ and Marlo makes an appearance.

 

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