In this, the year of our Lord 2017, Porsha Williams wants to project positivity in the world.
Maybe it started when she stuck the yoni egg in her cooze, but whatever it is, The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is filled with philosophical wisdom this week.
Don’t sip your coffee while reading her comments, or else your screen will be doused with mild roast French vanilla flavored spew.
On to squatting with a yoni ball! Porsha feels that it gave her good energy.
“…I promise after a while if you keep the focus on mind, body, and soul your whole energy will change. We all need to keep our energy positive…so I feel it is very important to remember that everything around us is made up of energy…”
Someone’s been reading The Secret again!
When Porsha, Sheree Whitfield, and Kandi Burruss met up to try and grease the wheels of peace between Kandi and Phaedra Parks, they ran into the wall of Kandi’s anger. And her bad, bad energy!
“My goal was to give Kandi another point of view and shed some light on the situation. It’s certainly possible that Kandi spread the rumors with encouragement from others. Sometimes being egged on can lead to even more mess!”
Not as messy as a yoni egg, but that’s a whole different story.
“…my goal was that Kandi realized it is not a good look for her. I did not want any kind of smear campaign against Phaedra to continue. It needed to end and be shut down.”
Porsha insists her intentions were pure. She was simply trying to be a helper, a mediator, if you will. Since when has Porsha ever done anything but stir the pot, throw shade, and have Skype sex?
“I can only speak for my intentions, and my intention with Kandi was to fight through all the noise and anger that Kandi felt and let it go once and for all. It is past time for each and every one of us to move on.”
Now, onto the dinner with Sheree and Phaedra, where Phaedra learned that Shamea Morton, Porsha’s bestie, was telling everyone and anyone that Phaedra had made a play for her man. Phaedra retaliated by saying Shamea, Kandi, and Todd were close—like daisy chain close. At the time Porsha agreed. But now she’s hopped the train on the Underground Railroad and is backtracking like mad.
“Well Pheadra [sic] was very upset after hearing what Shamea had to say, and I was in a very uncomfortable position sitting there between two very good friends arguing… For the record, Shamea has not mentioned or told me that there is anything going on with Kandi other than a close friendship. The reason I mentioned that they were even close is because Shamea is indeed close with them.”
Don’t even try it, Porsha! You were nodding like a bobble head, agreeing with Phaedra every step of the way.
“I don’t ever want to see someone who I call a friend hurt in any way, and I pride myself on defending someone who I call my friend, but this situation overall was a very tough one for me. My hope is that we can all move on from it.”
Porsha wants this to be a shade-free year. (Gah! I’m laughing so hard I can barely type.)
“With this group of ladies, if you throw shade out into their world, it will always come back to you. So I leave you with this final thought…remember when anyone throws negativity out in the universe, it always comes back!”
Like a shade boomerang! Okay, you can now safely sip your coffee, tea, or bottled water.
So, is anyone buying Porsha’s line about not cosigning on the threesome rumor? Anyone?