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‘RHOBH’ Recap: Erika Girardi Flashes Her Naked Snatch & Gains A New Enemy In Dorit

Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She's a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins looking east, with Rinna planning a trip to NYC with daughter, Amelia. Amelia’s big sis, Delilah, is beginning to hit it big in the modeling world, and wants to settle in New York. Viewers will be excited to learn that TheGigi and Bella 2.0 have scored their own twin interview spot, successfully launching the girls to the next level of reality fame-whoredom. The girls giggle in unison, blaming their mother’s perpetually annoying existence, on menopause.

Kyle and her daughter, Sophia, are already in NYC, on a mother/daughter business jaunt. Sophia is the child who most reminds Kyle of a taller version of herself. Sophia is smart, funny, and anxious about everything.

Back in the 90210, Lisa is picking up Dorit, to birthday present shop for Ken. Dorit adores Lisa — and Lisa loves that Dorit can take a biting joke. The women bring Harrison along, who greets the sales clerk by blowing snot all over her arm. Lisa picks out a $25k watch, while exchanging snappy quips with her new hilarious bestie.

We check in with Erika, who is meeting up with Mikey and her latest hot-bitch squad — primed and ready to turn on the heat for her new video. Erika is poised to make “Expensive” look like slutty-cheap, Erika Jayne style. The group jabbers about their demanding schedule, and the trampy onstage persona that defines Erika Jayne.   

Back in NYC, Kyle checks out her new upper east side store space, as Rinna busts in for a visit. The cast shares their Handy Harry fantasies, while Rinna boasts that even random men are clamoring for a piece of her hubby. Kyle and Rinna chatter about Rinna’s panting comeback attempt with Lisa, because Kyle knows that the struggle is real. Kyle throws a shot of shade at Lisa — smirking that Lisa never forgives and forgets. We catch a segment with Dorit gushing over her nannies and her children — in that order. Jagger struggles with his speech, and Dorit is discouraged by her son’s slow progress. The toddler loves to drive, and hates bow ties — a typical two-year-old.

Things take a sad turn, when we join Eileen and her family arriving at her deceased mother’s home. The plan is to pick up stray keepsakes, and Eileen shares her thoughts about her mom, as she pokes around. Her mother had dementia, and died three months ago — and the scene is a touching one.   

Back in the city, Rinna gushes over Delilah’s success, while reminiscing about blowing her butt-kissing remorse performance with TheGigi’s mom. Rinna just has to live with the fact that no one bought her act, including a crazy loon with Lyme brain. We sit in on a meeting with some fashion photo pros, and Rinna chatters like a chimp about Delilah’s cone-headed birth, and her eventual dynamic cuteness. Rinna hogs the spotlight, with her rendition of I Dream of Gigi — the Early Years. Rinna loves her daughter’s effort, and hopes that her shooting star inherited her reject model hustle.

Bravo mercifully allows us an escape to Ken and Lisa’s, where we watch Lisa give her hubby his gift. They are having a quiet birthday celebration, and Ken is thrilled with a gift that doesn’t poop all over the lawn. Lisa reveals that she has been apartment hunting for their son, Max. Max has paid his dues, and has lived through tons of cold showers, so it’s now time to douse him with luxury. The couple is surprising him with a posh bachelor pad, and they’re excited.

Back east, it’s a mother/daughter girls-night-out in the big city. Rinna’s girls debate Delilah’s exaggerated height, as we learn that Rinna is leaving them in the city for two days alone, so she can check in with her poly-poncho QVC empire. Kyle notes that even her crazy-ass mother wouldn’t have left her alone in New York — a nice note of shade tossed at Rinna. Delilah dishes about an exclusive dating app that she has been perusing, and Rinna and Kyle gasp, breaking from their hip teen shtick. Delilah swears that it’s $30 a month well-spent, but Amelia spills that her sis has been coming on to 35-year-old men. Delilah denies it — as Kyle and Rinna giggle through veiled panic. Rinna hopes that she trusts her daughters, but Delilah’s online booty shaking makes her nervous. Sophia side-eyes all of them — indeed the smartest one of the bunch.

We shift gears, and join Eileen in grief therapy — where we hear about a long string of deaths in her life. Eileen reveals that she is sad and embarrassed, tracing her reactions back to her parents’ troubled marriage. Eileen claims that she doesn’t like making people uncomfortable — unless one dares utter the A-word. Her therapist gives Eileen permission to be herself — obviously a quack.

Kyle is back in Beverly Hills, and is preparing for a white party at Pump. Kyle somehow realizes her undies are a garish misstep, and broadcasts the news all over Bravo. PK, Dorit, Ken, Lisa and Erika join her, as Erika gives us a tutorial about her on-point fashion choices. Erika always offers  herself as a chic piece of eye candy, because that is just who she is. Kyle interrupts Erika’s brag-session to brag about her new show, and casting Alicia Silverstone as her disturbing mother.

Erika shares her excitement about her soap debut, and Lisa playfully snarks that Eileen asked her first. Erika snaps at PK’s snarky comeback, compulsively reacting to a good-natured crack about age. Lisa and Dorit love British humor, and think that tacky Americans are far too nice. Erika blasts Dorit as an ordinary American, and Dorit admits that her fake accents are rather confusing. Dorit gives her take on Erika’s hodgepodge personality, labeling her “guarded.”

Erika is actually kinda boring, but insists that her flat personality is actually “cautious,” and untrusting. Erika then reveals that she is not wearing panties, and we see that PK’s peekers have obviously noticed. Erika insists that she is extremely shy, but that her naked cooch has a life of it’s own. Dorit isn’t buying Erika’s story, and believes that she’s an icy snatch-flasher. Hopefully, Lisa arranged to have the cushions cleaned.

We hop over to lunch with Dorit’s little boy, and learn that the Jagger boasts a refined palate. PK joins them, and smirks about last night’s crotch party, admitting to being mesmerized by Erika’s naughty lady bits. Dorit understands, and only hopes that Erika can take a joke, because she is never going to let her live this one down.

It’s a poly-poncho nightmare, as the snatch-banter continues, next week.

 

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