We join the Ladies of London one week post-arrival for baby Sadie. Marissa had a very difficult delivery and is still in the hospital – I’ll spare you the details – but mummy and daughter are doing well. Marissa is glowing and says she’d do it all again, except for that dreaded hysterectomy she received.
Over at Jules’ city digs, she scoots the children off to school, hops on her bike, rides to the station, and takes the train to Mapperton. Lady Julie is originally from Illinois and has no experience running an estate, but is exciting to get started. She’s beginning with ye old gift shop. Husband Luke isn’t optimistic she’ll succeed. The gift shop is in a shed by the gardens with two old ladies who run it and don’t like change, branding, the color green, or Jules.
Next we join Caroline F who is visiting her friend Kim. Caroline is exhausted, emotionally drained and cannot bare not being by her father’s side, so she is returning to Denmark the following day. Spoiler alert: Caroline doesn’t see her father. He’s too ill. She’s goes to a fashion event and makes a big blunder instead. But for now, Caroline F and Kim discuss how the children are handling this better than the adults. Caroline has assured her children she will live forever and continues to drink olive oil to iron out the wrinkles.
And like that we are Denmark with Caroline F and Juliet who is attended the Elle event with her. These two have fashion in common, but not much else. Caroline shares how she is the black-sheep of the family, because got a divorce and had a love-child out of wedlock. In America we call that normal. At the hotel, Caroline’s OCD kicks in full blast and she remakes the linens on the bed so it will be perfect like it was at boarding school.
Back at Mapperton, Jules tells Luke the girls will be coming in a few weeks. He says he hopes they behave, but we hope they don’t. As Jules talks about the responsibility of running Mapperton, she gets weepy. It costs 200,000 pounds ($253K USD) to run the house and grounds annually and her friends don’t understand what all she has to do. Waaahhh! Lady Julie is nervous she’ll fail and the British will blame the American. Of course they will. Remember all the tea we spilled at that party in Boston? They’re still blaming us for that.
Next, we meet up with Caroline S and her sister Victoria, whom she has nothing in common with, at the decorators office to discuss the Dubai home. It has eight bed-rooms, nine bathrooms, cinema, gym, swimming pools – with an s, six rooftop terraces, and a dressing room better than Mariah Carey’s. Caroline is happy to say goodbye England, hello Dubai.
Across town, Sophie stops by to visit Marissa and baby Sadie. I’m surprised they aren’t having a Sip N See like they do in the South, but instead, Marissa is ready to hand off the baby to daddy and off the ladies go to lunch. They recap the trouble between Sophie, Jules and Caroline S and Marissa recognizes that Caroline S wants Sophie to be her minion and not Jules’ minion.
Back with her sister, Caroline S discusses how she doesn’t want her children growing up like they did what with the huge estates, butlers, and boarding schools. You poor deprived girl. I wouldn’t want that for my kids either. But something seems off because Caroline has a mansion which will have a staff, so what’s the difference? Is it the boarding school? Big deal. Americans ship their kids off to boarding school, too, only we call it college. But Caroline tells her sister she doesn’t want to be like mummy and daddy and be tied to a house. Okay, if you say so.
Sometime later, Caroline S goes shoe shopping with her friend and show newbie, Adela. And off they go into a fight. Funny thing about the Ladies of London, they accuse each of yelling, when no one is hardly raising their voice. Ladies, if you want to see yelling, turn on RHONJ. That’s yelling. Here’s what happened, Adela recently met with Jules for dinner and now thinks she’s fabulous and Caroline needs to get over her hatred of Jules. Caroline says if she wants to have a go at Jules, she will and she’ll run over whoever gets in her way. Here’s a rundown of the fight:
Adela: You’re an ice queen
Caroline: You’re pathetic
Adela: You’re pathetic and judgmental
Caroline: You’re pathetic, laughable and slightly disloyal
End scene. Back in Denmark, Juliet selects a gorgeous jumpsuit for Caroline F to wear, but they are very late for the Elle event. But guess who they run into? Of all the random Americans, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are there. Don’t they have five kids and no money? What are they doing in Denmark? Oh well, Juliet is in awe of Caroline’s “Oprah” effect in Denmark. But Caroline makes a major faux pas. She has stated many times how private her family is, but gets caught up in the moment and tells the press her dad is very sick with cancer. In America, we call this a f*ck up. When they return to the hotel, Caroline sees the online articles all lead with news of her sick father. She plans to call her stepmother in the morning and beg for forgiveness explain what happened.
Sophie is visiting her sister-in-law at the new rental home with her two boys and their new nanny. Sophie is bubbly, but Caroline is, well, an ice queen. They discuss how Sophie is doing and Caroline’s glad she’s less emotional now. Those emotions are so pesky, aren’t they? The two rehash Sophie being loose-lipped about Jules being loose-lipped. Caroline blames Sophie for the feud with Jules and tells Sophie not to expect loyalty if she can’t give loyalty.
Sophie refuses to accept Caroline’s blame and asks her to remove her finger from her face. Sophie has already apologized for “dropping a bomb” so get over it, but Caroline won’t. She says an apology isn’t enough. Does she want a blood in her tea? Sophie tells Caroline she doesn’t care if she’s not trusted anymore. Caroline thinks Sophie’s so desperate to have friends since she’s divorcing, she’s choosing any scrubs that comes along. I’m shocked by two things. First, that Caroline gives a damn about a fight with Jules, and second, Sophie and her ex haven’t told their kids about the impending divorce. Hopefully they have by know. That’s the thing about going on a reality show.
Tune in next week when baby Sadie is rushed to the hospital and we learn that we are here for Caroline S’ entertainment and not the other way around.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.