We return to The Real Housewives of Atlanta mid-cackle of Sheree as Porsha saunters into the Moore-needs-to-be-done warm-housewarming party with her plus-one, Phaedra. Kenya immediately asks Porsha to step outside to tell her she wasn’t invited. Kenya is losing her bad self because instead of just kicking Porsha to the curb, she hems and haws over it, finally Porsha kicks herself out. Flashbacks are then shown of Kenya kicking out other guests from previous parties with way more flair. Kenya tells the girls that Porsha has probably been kicked out of better places by wealthy Africans.
Outside, Sheree slowly chases after Frick and Frack as they pass Matt who’s on his way inside. He greets Cynthia with a warm hug, then kisses Kenya and asks if they can speak privately. It seems as if Matt is more excited to check on the dog. He tells Kenya he was wrong. Kenya explains that she became afraid of him, her mighty protector. Matt asks for the opportunity to earn back her trust. Tears fall from Kenya’s sad eyes as she tells Matt, yes, they can try to rebuild their trust. And scene. Those acting lessons have really paid off!
The following day, over with Cynthia and her daughter Noelle, Cynthia breaks the news that she’s seeking a divorce. Noelle says it’s about time what with all that fighting going on above her bedroom. Noelle asks her mom is she’s suffering from low self-esteem because why else would she argue for hours and hours about the same stuff with the same person. Cynthia’s marriage is so over even Iyanla can’t fix her life, but mother and daughter hug it out.
Kandi is meeting with Todd, Don Juan, and Kwame about Ace’s new baby products line to help babies “get their poop on.” In walks Mama Joyce and the conversation switches to talk of the Old Lady Gang restaurant which is way behind schedule. Kandi tells Mama Joyce that after being at Kenya’s house party, she’s learned lots of people have construction deadline issues. She shares how Porsha and Phaedra were kicked out and Mama Joyce shares she thinks Phaedra needs to be sharing a cell with Apollo. Mama Joyce is Mama Bear when it comes to her daughter, and want to know why Phaedra ain’t divorced yet. Todd’s just relieved he’s no longer Mama Joyce’s target. Everyone in the room laughs about Phaedra having someone on the side even though she won’t admit it. The official status of Kandi and Phaedra’s friendship is: cordial.
Next up, Kenya and Phaedra meet for lunch, but after Phae-Phae mentions she’s on the Metamucil and Kenya’s on the penis, chile, let’s just drink our lunch. Phaedra is happy to hear Kenya is giving Matt another chance as she explains she’s not in a hurry to bring a man out of her bedroom into her life. Kenya just nods and grins. When asked why Kenya kicked out her girl, Porsha, Kenya says she couldn’t take the chance that Porsha would put her hands on one of the guests. Phaedra explains that Porsha is now cured of her anger after having one anger management session. Hallelujah! This shit works.
Across town, Sheree and Porsha are also meeting for drinks. Porsha is ready for Sheree to have her housewarming though no telling when that’s going to be Season finale? Sheree asks Porsha how she feels about being kicked to the curb at Kenya’s house which leads to a conversation about the difference between being a strong women and being labeled a bitch. Porsha talks about her counseling session and wants to have a share-the-love event. Oh Lord, please not another group counseling session. Someone is bound to storm out. Porsha says she’s planning on inviting Kenya, but don’t be surprised if she gets kicked out.
Todd and Kandi go check out the non-progress at their restaurant. They must have hired Kenya’s crew because things are moving slow. The old lady gang arrives at the construction site for a tour – please use your imagination because you’ll need it. Mama Joyce just sees dollar signs flying out the windowless windows. The OLG’s want to charge $5 for a photo of them. Actually they should just ask for tips, they could make more money. In any event, Aunt Bertha wants to know when she can start cashing her checks. The answer is, no time soon.
Let’s go to Sweet Peach which should be called the Fuzzy Peach because it’s waxing time. Kenya has invited Kandi and Cynthia to join her in the annual event called: trimming the bushes. Cynthia’s lawn doesn’t need to be mowed since no one’s having a picnic these days. She gets an arm wax instead. Kandi and Kenya get their legs did. Afterwards, Kenya shares that Sheree is going around town, flapping her gums, shading her home. Who cares about she-ain’t-shit-by-Sheree because she-ain’t-anywhere-near-done?
Sometime later with her smooth arms, Cynthia meets up with Peter to discuss the divorce process. Things are awkward and Peter looks broken. Cynthia gives him the last of his mail and asks him to return the lawyer’s phone calls. Peter explains he needs a minute to catch up. It really hit home when Peter went to the hospital the other day for a heart break attack and didn’t have an emergency contact person to call. Cynthia wants them to be friends, she just doesn’t want to be married. Peter calls the attorney and tells him to send the papers, he’s ready to sign – after his lawyers look at it. They hug and Peter leaves. Something tells me that’s not the last we’ll see of him.
Onto Porsha’s share-the-love mystery event. The girls are going to an escape room, and fingers crossed, Porsha doesn’t escape. Phaedra arrives first followed by Kandi and the “cordial” friends sit at different tables and mind their own bidness, texting nobody before the rest of the women show up. Finally the gang’s all there, let the mind games begin. The teams are: Phaedra, Sheree, Kandi and Porsha, Cynthia, Kenya. They have 30 minutes to get out. Here we go.
Kandi’s team is in the Zombie room and Porsha’s team is in Sherlock’s library. Kandi’s team seem to be moving along fine, but Porsha’s team has to ring the bell for help with the first clue and the second clue. The other team needs help too and neither team gets out of the room in the allotted 30 minutes. Is anyone surprised?
The others leave, but Kenya asks Sheree to hang back – it’s time to talk about her house-shade-throwing. At first I thought things were going to go well, and two sisters were going to work together to get their homes finished, but not so fast. The words, bitch and hoe are thrown, with more shade, and, it ain’t in my mama’s name, with a finger in the face.
Kenya isn’t getting anywhere so she twirls off, but Sheree follows, telling Kenya just like her house, she can’t even finish a conversation.
Tune in next week when Kenya meets Matt’s sister and she is serving cougar shade.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.