Our couples are coming down to the wire on TLC’s 90 Day Fiance. Who will tie the knot, and who will run like the wind?
Jorge and Anfisa
We join Jorge, along with a flashback of Anfisa wreaking havoc on his life, before jumping to Jorge’s sisters, weighing in on his messy romance. Jorge’s sisters basically call Anfisa a Russian hooker, and advise him to dump the greedy whore at the airport. Jorge is becoming worn down, and is glad that he didn’t plunk down $12k on a ring. Jorge’s sis blasts Anfisa — telling her to get lost, via TLC cameras. Jorge still loves Anfisa, especially when she is not nagging him into insanity. Jorge arrives home just in time to be swiftly kicked out. Jorge is discouraged to face another night in his car, and because Anfisa is morphing into her real self, Jorge is terrified. Jorge is ready to send her Insta-butt back to Russia, stat. The couple has a month to sort out their drama, and Jorge’s nights in the garage are adding up. Jorge then discovers that Anfisa has keyed his SUV with the word “idiot.” Jorge lovingly strokes the gouges, but assures us that he wants his sexy vandal gone.
Jorge counts out a wad of cash, and prepares to pay her off and dump her at the airport. Jorge exits the spotlight for the dramatic showdown, then we see the couple exit the building, minus luggage, and get into a vehicle.
A producer asks how Anfisa feels about fleeing the U.S., and she responds by almost rolling her eyes into blackout. The couple manages to slip the cameras for awhile, until producers corner them upon their return. Jorge explains that they couldn’t get Anfisa on a flight, and tomorrow is a new day. Producers try and talk to Anfisa, but she refuses. Anfisa finally caves, and asks Jorge to talk it out. She finally opens up about her loneliness, and Jorge pushes her to wrap her zero thoughts around life in America.
Anfisa agrees to give patience a try, and apologizes for her mean and crazy tendencies. Anfisa throws him a bone, and agrees to love him, even minus his wallet. Apparently we have jumped forward a month, because a cheapo ceremony is scheduled for a few days later.
Chantel and Pedro
A legal skirmish is defining Chantel and Pedro’s reality — because although Chantel is broke, her parents want her inheritance protected, via a prenup. The couple meets with a lawyer who spells out the score, one day before the wedding. Chantel reveals to the lawyer that she is an immature procrastinator, and he informs her that the doc can’t be prepared on her adolescent time schedule. Chantel admits that she is not prepared, and sheds some tears of remorse. It’s the day of the wedding, but Chantel is asking us to believe that she has not dealt with a dress, rings or guests. Plan B is a generic online prenup, and bestie, Gege, as their wedding planner. We see Chantel torn between logic and beauty — and Pedro labels the quandary a “bad situation.”
The couple bickers about the stressful day, and Pedro just wants Chantel to be positive. Chantel isn’t expecting her family to show, but the couple still gets dolled up for the wedding. The couple arrives at a park, where Gege has set up a pretty ceremony spot. Chantel’s family finally shows in a staged entrance, and immediately demands to review the prenup. Pedro is bothered that their love is being polluted by paperwork. TLC then releases River onto the contrived runway, and Chantel’s brother makes a grand entrance. The wedding happens, and the first couple is squared away in wedded bliss. Chantel’s parents nail the spectacle as puppy love, and remain skeptical. Pedro hopes that they will trust him one day.
Nicole and Azan
We catch up with Nicole, trying to get Azan on the phone. She wants to talk, but Azan isn’t interested. Nicole’s mom is disturbed by Azan’s attitude, so she pulls her daughter aside for a heart to heart. She calmly blasts Nicole, and pushes her to tell the truth about their shady romance. Mom believes that Nicole is a human love bulldozer, and needs to dump the idea of this silly engagement. Nicole should think about her daughter, and end this before it blows up in disaster — even if Azan actually does answer the phone. Nicole cries a skinny black river of doubt, and doesn’t know how to let go of her cringing Moroccan dreamboat. Nicole later meets with her brother, 16-year-old, Thomas, to discuss her love story. Nicole gushes over Azan, but Thomas notices that his sis looks sad. Thomas grills her like a teen prosecutor, challenging Nicole’s stupid decisions. Nicole loves Azan on the phone — but a phone-centered marriage won’t exactly score Azan a green card.
Nicole just hopes that they can both change, so they can stand the sight of each other. Nicole later meets with an immigration attorney, who explains that a legit relationship needs to be proven. The lawyer lays out the deal, including the financial demands, which Nicole can’t swing. Nicole needs a co-sponsor so the government isn’t stuck supporting Azan — giving Nicole another hurdle to flop over. Nicole crazily asks her mother to financially back Azan, but can’t even keep a straight face during the request. Her mother gives her a death stare, and turns her down flat. Nicole’s daughter is brought into the dialogue, and Nicole threatens to bring May to Morocco. Nicole is likely bluffing, but her mom is nervous.
Matt and Alla
We join the show’s blandest couple, as the wedding approaches. Alla doesn’t love Matt, but is ready for her “I do” — to Matt and to America. Matt is ready for his fourth go-round, and Alla’s sister, Iryna, is on the way!! The sisters reunite at the airport, and the moment is precious. Alla is thrilled that Iryna is there for the wedding, and she provides an instant mood lifter. We get a big smile out of Alla — a far too rare occurrence. The rehearsal dinner is that evening, and Matt is worried about dreary Patrick wrecking the joy.
Iryna and Matt like each other, and Alla is finally excited about her upcoming wedding. Matt confronts Patrick and tells him to keep his annoying trap shut at the wedding. Patrick thinks the marriage is a bad idea, and Matt finally defends his decision. Patrick will not promise to keep quiet, and TLC will obviously not simply take the objection part out of the ceremony.
Narkyia and Lowo
We travel to Vietnam, and join Narkyia forcing Lowo to prove his documentation challenges in person. Lowo’s story checks out, but the required paperwork remains delayed. Narkyia is glad that Lowo actually told the truth for once, but is concerned about cultural differences posing problems. The couple strolls the streets, while Narkyia dishes to one of Lowo’s friends about their fishy love-struggles. It comes out that Lowo was two-timing her with his baby mama — a woman who was supposed to be dead. Narkyia clocks him with an ice cream cone, reminding him that she is very much alive. Narkyia voices her wrath, while Lowo’s pal mops the ice cream out of his friend’s eyebrows. Lowo chases her down, and tries to talk her off the ledge. Narkyia isn’t having it, and Lowo is nervous about marrying such an highfalutin firecracker.
Next week is the finale, and a wedding bonanza. Don’t miss the endings to our international love stories!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.