‘RHOC’ Reunion Recap: Shannon Accuses Kelly of Having An Affair & 70’s Party Set-Up Is Rehashed

The three-part day of reckoning has arrived for The Real Housewives of Orange County. Can I get a woo-hoo! This reunion is supposed to be the most ruthless, cut-throat, shocking of all reunions, so let’s see if it’s true. But first, let’s talk fashion. All the ladies look good – not pageantry like some other housewives on another reunion show currently airing. Andy introduces the ladies and starts the embarrassment by mentioning Vicki got an eye-job, Shannon got a cup-job, Kelly is tequila free, Tamra has the best ass, Meghan finally has a baby bump, and Heather’s house is still unfinished. Let the games begin!  

First up, Vicki and her involvement with Brooks and all his cancer lies from last season. Will the women ever forgive her? Short answer: No. Vicki now regrets not being more “Meghanish” by investigating his lies. However, Vicki was still defending the “bad guy” long after he confessed, during the Ireland trip. She wants to meet Brooks in heaven, but will Brooks even be allowed beyond the pearly gates? Vicki’s new soul mate, Steve, is so different and Vicki is over it so move along Andy. Andy asks Shannon if she can forgive some many others in her life, like her cheating husband David, then why not Vicki. Shannon says she has forgiven Vicki, but forgiveness is different. WTF, Shannon? This is when Vicki announces, “If you don’t like it, Felicia, then get off my show.” WTF, Vicki? I think we all know it’s Andy’s show. He asks Shannon if she will ever be friends with Vicki. Shannon says no chance. Never ever never. So get off her show, Felicia.

Onto Tamra and her new fitness/Jesus lifestyle of having control without really having control. Flashbacks are shown of Tamra’s highlights and lowlights throughout the season. Tamra blames herself for Ryan’s dysfunctional marriage and still hasn’t seen her daughter Sydney, but they text occasionally. The real shocker is Tamra and Simon are getting along now after their son Spencer walked out on him. Tamra counts the ways her life has improved since accepting Jesus, namely her relationships are stronger and she’s the peacekeeper, but admits to still being a sinner. Kelly says she’s not a good Christian because she’s two-faced. Tamra dumbs it down for Kelly to explain that she has forgiven Kelly for many times of her transgressions. Especially the sushi dinner which was an f*cked up night with the C U next Tuesday and Shut up you dumb f*ck comments.

Next on the chopping block is Meghan who hopes to give birth naturally, vaginally and drugless. Good luck with that because so far nothing has gone according to plan. Flashbacks are shown of her IVF journey and her apathetic husband, Jimmy. Meghan answers a viewer question by saying Jimmy was MIA because he has a JOB, said the Stepford wife. And he’ll be way more present than Terry Dubrow. Heather defends Terry’s fathering duties because like everyone, he’s trying to find balance in his life (and pay for their mansion) but get this, Terry’s extra sperm is in the etched glass, should Andy wish to buy it someday. Update on the comment Meghan made last season about the love for her stepchildren being the same as the love for her own child – Meghan now understands the bond will be different. Yay, little girl is growing up!

Andy moves onto to Kelly for her first reunion tongue bashing. Andy calls Kelly “the most polarizing” housewife ever. Kelly thinks this is a compliment but it’s good to know that she regrets how she treated her husband Michael, who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder and is a distant relative to Hitler. However, Kelly has no regrets about how she treated the other ladies. They got what they deserved. Kelly found her freshman experience in reality television to be therapeutic, and bonus, now Michael is fantastic. Turns out, being on a reality show is a cure for narcissism! Tamra understands how miserable it is to live with a narcissist, but doesn’t understand how all of a sudden, the so-called narcissist can change. Kelly asks if Tamra has a Ph.D. No she doesn’t and that’s why it doesn’t make sense to Tamra. Or any of us.

Let’s talk about the groovy 70’s party and the two bimbo shit–stirrers, shall we? Was it a set up or not? I think it was, plain as day, but viewers were divided, according to Andy. What did it mean when Jackie said, “This isn’t going like she thought.” It means Jackie had another party to go to that night but chose Shannon’s. Mmm-hmm. Shannon tells Kelly not to flatter herself that she would have a party just to set her up. Also, about the fight between Vicki and David. Supposedly, David isn’t proud of his language by calling Vicki a pig and supposedly never speaks to Shannon that way, but who really knows. And the snide remark by Nina about Kelly sucking d*ck for money? That’s Nina’s tag line for the reality show in her head. The voices told her it would be a great catch phrase. The biggest shock for the ladies was when Kelly said she didn’t regret saying to David “no wonder you cheated on your wife.” Gasp. Shock. Horror. The other women can’t believe Kelly won’t retract this statement, but at least the girl’s honest. Kelly makes it clear she doesn’t ascribe to the Geneva Convention rules of war.

Moving on, did Kelly have an affair or not. She was separated from Michael, trying to get a divorce, and engaged to a married man. Is that an affair? So much is lost in translation. Kelly denies having an affair, claiming it was the married man who technically had the fair. Shannon says Kelly was having an affair. Kelly said she wasn’t. She was. She wasn’t. She was. She wasn’t. Let’s just blame the guy, okay ladies? Andy shuts it down and brings the conversation back to the setup at the 70’s party. Heather asks what would Shannon have to gain by revealing the affair, and Kelly says, “Dra-Ma. Dra-Ma.”

That’s it for Part 1, which was pretty tame, considering. What do you think after all that hype? Tune in next week when Andy loses control of the ladies of RHOC. Yay!

 

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