Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween! Will the season finale of The Real Housewives of Orange County be a trick or a treat? Let’s get started with the freaky fun.
First up is Meghan and Jimmy at their St. Louis home. Meghan’s mom, dad and sister come over for the cake reveal. Boring! It’s pink – we already knew that. What’s interesting is that Jimmy shows more affection to Meghan’s dad than to Meghan, but maybe that’s a ballplayer thing.
Onto Briana’s house to see the renovations. Things are moving very slowly. Vicki is trying to call the shots, but Briana wants to handle this all by herself, with her decorator. Vicki tells Briana about the junk food party for Tamra and asks her daughter to come as backup. Briana says yes because it’s the finale and the fans want to see her.
Shannon and David are in the kitchen of their rental home and David makes a crack about being gay. It wasn’t funny so I won’t bother repeating it. Shannon asks David how he feels about Vicki coming into their rental home. David doesn’t want “the devil” in his house, but promises to be somewhat of a gentleman since the party is for Tamra and not about him, like the 70’s party was.
Everyone is getting ready for the party. Michael recommends a two drink minimum/maximum for Kelly at the party. Their marriage has improved by leaps and bounds since the whale-of-a-time in Ireland. Meghan comes over to ride together in the limo and tells Kelly that Tamra wants her to apologize to Shannon. At first Kelly is like, “What? Shannon started it.” But Meghan practices her mothering skills and suggests that Kelly apologize for saying mean things. They both agree it’s okay not to apologize to Heather because she’s a meddling interloper who’s just as conniving as everyone else.
As Shannon gets her make up done in the kitchen of her rental home, she confides in her makeup artist she’s not excited to see certain people named Vicki and Kelly at the party. Shannon warns her that the party is likely to be a war zone. Who doesn’t want to attend a soirée like that!
Over at Tamra’s house, she keeps ruining her white dresses with her tacky spray tan. Tamra tells Eddie her plan is to avoid Vicki, but be cordial. Remember this because Tamra doesn’t come close to hitting the cordial mark. Eddie surprises Tamra with a gift. It’s a pair of black Christian Louboutin shoes. OMG that Eddie is so special! He has such great taste in shoes. I mean, it takes a special man to buy his wife designer shoes, don’t you think? So special.
Terry and Heather are in the limo on the way to the party. Heather informs Terry about Kelly announcing to everyone that Vicki said that Shannon said that David beat the shit out of her. Terry looks like he wants to go perform butt implant surgery rather than go to this party.
Horror at the party! The donut tower has collapsed. Oh no, what will they do? Vicki is bringing her new boyfriend Steve along to the party. Will this be their last date when Steve sees how these women behave in front of the cameras? Oh no, what will they do?
It’s party time! There’s a cute cut-out of Tamra, but who cares, she wants donuts. Vicki arrives in her red hot dress, but is getting the cold shoulder from the ladies. Shannon’s not at all interested in the gift and card Vicki brought her and Tamra lies about receiving the video from Vicki. Excuse me, but isn’t Thou Shall Not Lie one of the 10 Commandments? They should ask Heather, she’ll know it verbatim, in the meantime, the only person happy to see Vicki is Kelly.
Shannon, sitting with Tamra and Heather, points out that it’s day 15 and she still has not received an apology from Kelly or Vicki. Across the yard, Kelly and Vicki can’t believe the poor etiquette that’s going on with the hostess and guest of honor ignoring them.
Meghan joins Heather, Shannon and Tamra to tell them that Kelly was planning on apologizing, but A) feels Shannon instigated her getting drunk on their last night in Ireland and B) Heather was meddling on the bus. The ladies then berate Meghan for being Kelly’s friend. Heather says Vicki and Kelly are vile and proclaims they belong together.
Tamra brings out gift bags for her friends. Inside is a black tank top with an unflattering mug shot of each of the women with a criminal charge. Kelly: Public Drunkenness; Shannon: Judgy Eyes; Meghan: Concealing a Child; Heather: Being Too Fancy; and Vicki: Lying. Vicki laughs, but she knows it’s a big F.U. from Tamra. She plans to throw it away. But it makes you wonder what Tamra’s shirt would say: Condescending Christian?
Kelly goes over to Shannon to discuss “the elephant in the room.” Tamra tells Kelly not to say that because she’s suggesting someone is fat. Really, Tamra? The cliché is a metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that’s going unaddressed. Duh. Shannon explains that they made up, but then Kelly was rude in Ireland. The nerve saying she had hair on her chin. Finally the ladies mention the real elephant in the room which is the allegation that David beat up Shannon. Where’s his mug shot shirt? Meghan defends Kelly and blames Vicki. Heather says both of women are to blame.
Shannon points out that this inaccurate information Kelly has announced is now out in the universe for her kids to hear. Kelly points out that the same thing happened to her at the 70’s party when Shannon invited those two bimbos. Heather tries to make a point, but Kelly cuts her off and calls her an interloper. Michael takes a seat ring side, near his wife, ready to get involved if needed. Heather still thinks Kelly had a “psychotic break” because it’s Kelly’s “algorithm.” Oy vey.
Vicki tries to leave and Heather tells her not to move. It’s go time. Tamra jumps in and tells Vicki she’s mean because she dated a douche bag and they called her out. According to Tamra, Vicki needs to stop talking about people and STFU. Then Tamra tells Vicki she doesn’t exist in her world anymore. Vicki says fine and goodbye.
But wait, Shannon’s not done. She cuts Vicki off at the door and tells her she heard she was going to apologize tonight, so where is it? Vicki says it’s in the card. Shannon says they may have had fun in Ireland, but they are done now because Shannon woke up and realized she was in bed with the devil. Dramatic-much? Vicki looks exhausted as she stands there listening, then finally leaves, vowing she’s done with all the women.
Turns out, Vicki didn’t leave after all. She’s waiting in the front yard. Briana goes to Tamra and asks her to come out front and talk with her mom. Vicki apologizes for repeating a rumor that she heard about Eddie being gay. Tamra explains that repeating a rumor is the same as saying the rumor.Vicki says she’s worried about Shannon. Tamra calls her a b*tch and walks off.
Here are the finale updates for the women:
- Heather finally moved into her new house, but is still fussing with it. She’ll have people over to see it when it’s “perfect.” (And no one will want to go.)
- Kelly has no plans to renew her anger management classes. But Kelly and Michael are talking about renewing their vows. (Maybe Lisa Vanderpump can officiate.)
- Shannon is still trying to Feng Shui her rental house. Her mother-in-law has yet to see it. (Why did they sell they’re house in the first place?)
- Meghan is contemplating a permanent move back to St. Louis. She is already talking to Jimmy about a second baby. (Who will be the father since Jimmy’s sperm is gone?)
- Tamra has not spoken to Vicki in six months. And Eddie is still not gay. (Though Andy Cohen is waiting for the day.)
- Vicki and Steve are still together. Briana has been diagnosed with Lupus. Her husband, Ryan, is still stuck in Oklahoma. (We wish Briana all the best.)
So what did you think about this season? Are the ladies you liked at the beginning, the same ones you liked at the end? Who should get their walking papers and who should come back for Season 12?
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.