‘Below Deck’ Recap: One Less Fish in the Sea

Recap by guest blogger J.R.

Valentine’s Day may be over, but love is still in the air on Valor. Except between Captain Lee and Kelley. There is no love lost there. Captain calls Kelley to the bridge to remind him how much of an embarrassment the previous day was, while Kelley tries to take it as constructive criticism, without getting defensive.

Emily is lucky that Kelley seems to be spending all his free time explaining himself to Captain Lee, because it gives her and Ben extra time to awkwardly talk to each other. I mean this is awkward, right? They have a conversation about how they slept and…yeah, that’s basically it. But it was also 8am. So these two get a pass for now.

The deckhands are out putting the slide out, under the very watchful eye of Captain Lee. Luckily for them, everything goes smoothly.

What’s not going smoothly? Pretty much every relationship on this yacht today. Love may be in the air, but it’s slowly but surely evaporating, especially as we learn about Sierra and her boyfriend who isn’t her boyfriend but isn’t not her boyfriend, making her single, but not also available. She met a guy before she boarded the boat, and he texted her on Valentine’s Day, which according to her means that he must like her. But she read her horoscope and it’s going to be a good day. We don’t know if it will also be a good day for Kyle since Sierra didn’t bother reading his. “Well, f*** your horoscope,” as Lauren, says.

The guests wanted a dance party, so Kate begins planning. The theme is ‘white chapel, wedding, Elvis, Vegas’ which is cute since the guests just got engaged. Kate is always quick on her feet and creative. She asks Ben to play Elvis. In a scene that shocks no one, he declines.

Captain then asks Kelley to ask the primary charter guest if he was still interested in playing golf off the deck. It’s this exact initiative Kelley is lacking, that Captain has been repeatedly reminding him to stay on top off. With each talk the Captain has with him, it’s like he’s listening less. Maybe the pressure is getting to him, but he certainly shouldn’t fold under it.

Instead of focusing on his fourth scold of the charter, Kelley chooses to continue to pine after Emily. He worries that she wants a relationship, while he just wants to have fun. Kelley, I need you to worry about your job. 1. Because Emily surely is not worried about you. At all. And 2. Because you’ve been sucking at it so much that every morning Captain calls you in to have a chat about how much he wants you to, oh I don’t know, not suck for that day. Which you then promptly ignore along with all the signs that Emily is not interested in you.

The day goes by quickly, and it’s already dinner, which also goes smoothly. The guests then enter their dance party. Welcome to Las Valor, featuring Nico as Elvis, and Kelley as a Chippendale. Nico will do anything for a tip, and Kelley will do anything to take off his shirt, so this is about right. But the guests are having a good time, and we get to see the crew dancing a little too, and it is the calm before the Sierra Storm.

Emily tells Kate how she is excited for her date with Ben the next night, but feels bad about Kelley. Kate advises her not to even bring it up to Kelley since they were never going to happen any way. Emily, by no means owes Kelley an explanation, nor should she feel bad for accepting a date she wants to go on. But since she feels bad regardless, she should probably just tell him and get it over with for her own sake.

The next morning we learn more Kyle’s life. He left home at 15 and was homeless until he met a girl and moved to London, where he was still homeless. But he was trying to turn that around and create a life for himself and this girl, but she left him for a rich doctor. I agree with Kate that Kyle isn’t embarrassed by himself, and has no apologies for who he really is. I do not agree with Kate that for this reason Sierra should date him as she suggests. Date him, because you want to, not because you should want to. That being said, I understand Kate’s desires to set Sierra up since I’d want to date him. Surrounded by all this salt water, but the thirst is still real.

The guests leave, and it’s time for the tip meeting. Captain thanks the interior team for a job well done, but calls out the exterior, yet again. Their tip is $15,000 so $1350 for two days. Kyle asks Captain Lee if he can take Sierra out fishing, he agrees, and also says the crew can go out for dinner.

Kyle seems very excited for his date. He likes fishing and he likes women, so either way he’s winning. I admire his positive outlook on life. He says Sierra doesn’t know how to be romanced and he’s determined to change this.

Back on the boat, Nico asks Emily her plans. She tells him and Lauren that she’s going out with Ben, since Ben asked first. Yes, and also because you do not like Kelley. Why is it impossible for her to admit this?? 

Sierra and Kyle’s date is going terribly. She’s talking about yoga and is texting non-stop. If you would rather exercise than to be on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean, you probably should’ve declined going. I don’t feel that urge when I’m not in the middle of paradise. Kyle asks if she has a male admirer at home and she says yes. Ouch.

Kyle comes back upset. Kelley, who has just found out that Ben is taking Emily out, is furious…at Sierra. Riiight, this tantrum has nothing to do with feeling rejected. He tells off Sierra for hurting Kyle to the point she doesn’t want to go out. Kate tells Kelley it’s none of his business and gets dressed to go out so Sierra doesn’t stay back.

Remember that pass I gave Ben and Emily earlier because it was 8am? Yeah, I’m taking it back. It is now 8pm and things don’t seem better. Maybe it’s because there are cameras around, but everything is feeling very forced and unnatural. But they claim to have a good time and meet up with the rest of the crew.

Between love blooming with Ben and Emily, and deteriorating between Kyle and Sierra…and Sierra and Kelley…and Kelley and Ben, Nico feels like he’s in the middle of a lot of emotions. He just wants his pizza and to leave. He heads back with Lauren and Kelley.

Kyle has a talk with Sierra and explains that he was hurt, but he hopes that everything works out for her with her other guy. She deserves time and effort. He deserves someone who gives a f*** about his horoscope. Kyle, Sierra, and Kate decide to ditch Ben and Emily and head back to the boat also.

Back on the boat, Lauren decides she wants a grilled cheese, so Kelley begins making her one. They then, both leave, and are with Nico and his pizza. Lauren then takes Nico’s pizza, because why settle on grilled cheese, when you can have all the cheese filled junk food you desire. A woman after my own heart. So she takes his pizza, dropping a trail on the floor along the way, but also forgetting about her sandwich, which Nico discovers. He sees the pan is burning and goes to air it outside, right in the middle of a conversation Captain is having with Kate about cleaning up the pizza on the floor. Kate tries to get to the bottom of this by talking to Nico, but Lauren interrupts, for no reason at all. So Kate then brings her argument to Kelley instead. Ugh, it was a mess. Messier than a trail of pizza on the floor. Messier than Kelley being in his feelings. Messier than Ben deciding that him and Emily had no real chemistry, but they do now AFTER their date. A mess. But the mess continues next week.

 

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