Bottom of the morning, to you! When is this whale of an Ireland trip going to end?! The Real Housewives of Orange County women are still on the bus ride from hell to the airport and still fighting. Everyone is calling each other trash, no you are, no you are. And though Vicki has tried to stay out of it, Shannon calls her out for being a bad friend to Kelly. And the gloves come off.
Kelly spills the hot tea that Vicki had been threatening to reveal about David. He reportedly “beat the shit” out of Shannon. Shannon becomes unglued and denies saying this to Vicki. Heather starts yelling at Kelly she’s had enough and tells Kelly to sit down, but the fighting continues with all of them, except for Meghan who is just sitting there in stunned silence.
Tamra asks Kelly what else Vicki had said to her private. Kelly reveals that Eddie is gay and cheating on Tamra. This is funny because who hasn’t said Eddie is gay, but Tamra screams in Vicki’s face. Again Heather is telling Kelly to shut up and Kelly is telling Heather, no you shut up. The good news – for Ireland – is the “ladies” are on their way home!
Back home, Tamra stops by Shannon’s new home with only a few scraps of furniture. Tamra isn’t sure if she’s ready for the upcoming fitness competition because of the PTSD she is feeling from Ireland. Tamra says Eddie doesn’t care what Vicki says about his manhood because Vicki is just so jealous. Shannon has the theory that Vicki is attacking their men because they attacked her man this time last year. In the meantime, they are looking forward to the carb party after Tamra’s competition.
Over at Vicki’s house, she tells Briana that things only got bad during the last two hours of the Ireland trip, but Briana feels her mother is partly to blame because “she fights dirty.” Vicki wants to give peace a chance, but won’t take the blame for any chaos. Briana tells her mom she should have never said anything to “the new girl” Kelly about Tamra’s marriage. Vicki feels there’s nothing wrong with being married to a gay man.
Kelly is home with Michael telling him how she was provoked on the way to the airport by Heather. In fact, Heather is the puppet and everyone is the master. So funny! Poor Kelly, got it backwards, but thank you for the comic relief. Kelly admits to saying that David beat the shit out of Shannon. Michael is shocked. Kelly says she doesn’t know if it’s true, the point is, these women are a bunch of meanies. Michael recommends starting with Vicki first to make amends. Kelly thanks Michael for being her rock, so if nothing else, Kelly’s awful Ireland trip renewed her love for her husband.
Tamra and Mia are looking at an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, bikini that Tamra will wear on stage that would fit a nine year old. Tamra confesses to Mia that she drank alcohol and was separated from God during the Ireland trip. Mia is not happy. Tamra blames Vicki for pouring the shots down her throat. Mia tells Tamra she must forgive Vicki again and again and again. No matter what. Tamra may not be ready to walk the talk, but she’s ready to strut her butt.
Next up, Meghan meets up with Kelly for lunch. Meghan is prepared to stand by her friendship with Kelly because she’s not a fair-weather friend, just a judgmental friend. Meghan points out that if Kelly could actually rise above this crap her life would be so much better. Kelly wants to talk with Tamra, but is thankful to have Meghan on her side. It’s better than nothing, sort of.
Kelly invites Vicki to come over her house and kiss her ass chat. Kelly tells Vicki she wasn’t there for her during the Ireland trip. Vicki says the reason she wasn’t there for her was to help Kelly fight her own battles. Tough love in foreign country is always fun. Vicki says she told Kelly not to drink, but Bravo could not find that footage. Vicki explains everyone gets a “little crazy” when they drink. But finally Vicki says, “I’m sorry if you feel I didn’t stand up for you.” Kelly says she too will try to make things better. They hug it out.
Over at Tamra’s house, while she practices walking in her hooker shoes, Vicki calls to say what a great time they had in Ireland except for that whole fighting stuff and over indulging in alcohol stuff and telling Kelly that Eddie is gay stuff, but other than that, what a whale of time they had. Vicki asks if she’s invited to the carb party after the competition at Shannon’s house. Those two still haven’t spoken since the drunken brawl on the bus. When Tamra explains Shannon is very hurt, Vicki’s response is they’re all hurt. Tamra, being a Christian, forgives Vicki and invites her to the party – plus it’s the season finale.
The ever busy Tamra meets up with Kelly a few days before her competition. Kelly claims she didn’t mean any “bad intent” when she said “no wonder Tamra’s daughter doesn’t talk to her.” Oh yeah, totally coming from a place of love. Tamra eventually accepts her apology and then apologizes for pushing Kelly to say that comment. Kelly wants to know, if Tamra can get over the comment about Eddie being gay, why can’t Shannon get over the comment about David beating the shit out of her. Really? #nowords Tamra advises Kelly to apologize to Shannon, but Kelly says, hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Kelly wants to go to the competition and support Tamra and won’t fight with the other girls.
Shannon receives a call from Tamra asking if Vicki can come to the after party. Tamra has a plan, they are going to confront Vicki over her lies, just like last year with Brooks and his cancer. Everyone loves the déjà vu season finale. Shannon agrees to invite Vicki and Kelly.
It’s show time! Tamra is rocking her orange spray tan. She’s in the bikini division and judged for her suit, her skin, her walk, and her physique. Mia and Tamra pray for a good show. Everyone shows up but bring your sweater because it’s very cold in the auditorium. The husbands are there, too. Eddie is front and center rocking a tight, black tee-shirt.
Here comes Tamra with her surfboard. She looks great and everyone is cheering! Especially Shannon – like her kids are on stage – kind of yelling. Tamra comes out in another sparkly swimsuit and the crowd goes wild. As they announce the winners, Tamra prays for a trophy. She wins! Thank you Jesus! It had nothing to do with the Bravo cameras there to cover Tamra in this event. Eddie announces he gets to go home with her…and role play? But Shannon wants no part of taking pictures with Vicki and Kelly. At the end, Heather steals Tamra away for a selfie, icing out Kelly and Vicki. The carb party is going to be one heck of a sugar rush!
Tune in next week for the season finale and the Confrontation with Carbs!
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.