Below Deck

‘Below Deck’ Recap: Kelley Loses Control of His Deck Team

Recap by guest blogger J.R.

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Have you guys heard of the TLC song, “No Scrubs” (fun fact, Real Housewife of Atlanta star, Kandi Burruss, won a Grammy for writing it)? Some key lyrics are:

“I don’t want no scrub, A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me, Hangin’ out the passenger side, Of his best friend’s ride, Trying to holla at me.”

We return to Scrub Island Below Deck and this episode is filled with scrubs, but also love and the pursuit of love so pure it melted even my cold heart.

Lauren observes that between Kate/Ro, Emily/Kelley, and Sierra/Kyle, love is in the air. It sure is and everything that comes with it, from uncomfortable PDA, to bathroom sex, to flowers. And two out of the three of these things come from Kate and Ro. I would love to be on Scrub Island, but I would hate to be there with those two. They are being ridiculous. Ben continues to be awkward in their presence, but who could blame him? The only time either of them comes up for air is to make hollow small talk. I’d pull a Ben and act like I have somewhere important to be on vacation too, if it meant getting away from that, if only for a moment.

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While this goes on, Kelley continues to put the moves on Emily. He tells her that her back is burnt and puts sunscreen on with a mini massage, as Emily cringes through it the entire time. If the very presence of him repulses you, as you’re waiting for the next way he’s going to “casually” hit on you, it may be time to be straight and tell him you’re not interested.

Let me clarify, Kelley is a scrub. I’m sorry, I hate to say it, but it’s true. I don’t believe he’s one deep down, or that he even means to be one, but he’s acting like one, and that is enough for me. He is doing the most and somehow the least if that’s even possible. He’s frequently coming on too strong, but in a way that’s also passive. And above all, he’s sharing his feelings for Emily to pretty much everyone but her. But yeah, sunscreen each other’s backs again, that’ll help move things along.

Lauren, don’t be sad that this surrounds you, while you and Nico are only friends. You don’t want what any of them have. None of them are goals. As Ben later points out, relationships take maturity, and I don’t think anyone on Valor has that yet. Except Captain Lee, who is very taken.

Speaking of the Captain, he calls in Kelley to have a talk with him about being on top of things. He isn’t impressed with someone doing what they’re supposed to be doing, he’s impressed when someone goes beyond that, so Kelley makes a note to be more proactive.

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It’s Valentine’s Day, and Ro is leaving. If Valentine’s Day wishes were a thing, Ben just got his. But he says if Kate is happy, he’s happy. Which I believe to be true since you can be happy for someone else while being a little sad for yourself.

The slide is here for the next charter guests, and the deckhands can barely get it together already. If this continues while the guests are actually here, they’re in trouble. Captain Lee has this super fun new thing where he micromanages everything Kelley does. It’s as much fun as watching a scene with Kate and Ro on Scrub Island.

We also learn a bit more about Kyle. Ugh, I love Kyle. Is he a mess? 100%. We find out that on his first date with his child’s mother, they got drunk and he got her knocked up in a bin shed in Soho Square. And just when you finally start to understand him he says things like, my baby’s mother will never have to work again, which is noble yet problematic. But he seems so genuine, and compared to Kelley floundering, I respect that. He asks Sierra out on a fishing date, and she agrees.

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Captain Lee gathers Kelley, Ben, and Kate to tell them about the charter guests. The most important thing about them is that the primary guest wants to propose to his girlfriend on the first night, so they can spend the rest of their time on the yacht, celebrating. Ben questions whether that should be done on the second night instead, and Captain reminds him it’s not up to them.

Emily asks Kelley if he’s gotten any Valentine’s Day messages. He hasn’t and asks her if she has, she also hasn’t. He decides that they’ll have to change that, and Emily is trying to signal a ‘no, don’t ask me.’ She tries signaling it by doing nothing at all. On the one hand, I understand why Emily won’t just say she’s not interested. Technically, Kelley hasn’t told her that he is and it might be a bit much to say hey man, no thanks, to someone who hasn’t asked. But on the other hand everyone knows, so there’s no need to go through this.

Kate asks Emily if she’s expecting anything today, and she says no she’s never gotten flowers from anyone but her dad. Kate is horrified. She asks Ben if he would like to add to her flower order and get Emily some. He does, and places them on her bed with a note.

When Emily sees the flowers and reads the note, she is touched. Kate asks what happens and acts surprised, giving Ben all the credit. From this gesture, Emily realizes that she actually does like Ben…okay. The guests arrive, and go to have lunch. While eating, Sierra must get the engagement ring from the primary guest’s bag, and bring it to Kate who will give it to primary’s friend to hide. Between this, Kate tries on the ring, which I found completely rude. Do you also try on the guests clothing while they’re having lunch?

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Kelley is attempting to be proactive while lunch is happening, so he takes out the pool and swim toys, which would be great, except for the fact that the guests want to go snorkeling. He attempts to bring the boat over to pick up the guests while the pool is in the water, but after a few failed tries, the Captain comes out and walks him through it. The guests wonder to themselves what the return policy for this trip is. It’s embarrassing. When they finally board, an hour has gone by, and they leave the primary’s girlfriend behind by mistake. While Kelley is with them snorkeling, Lauren and Nico are left to put away the pool that wasn’t asked for or used.

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Later on the deckhands are secretly listening to the stews conversation. I thought this scene was going to end a lot worse than it did. Instead of them overhearing that Emily has no interest whatsoever in Kelley, Kyle overhears Sierra inviting Emily and Kelley for a double date. Kyle looks pissed, but Sierra doesn’t see what the big deal is – the more the merrier. Nico and Lauren just wonder how Kyle and Kelley have time for this date, while they’re left doing a full wash down alone.

Dinner goes smoothly, and through his nerves the primary asks his girlfriend to marry him. She says yes! They both cry, and it was a sweet moment to be able to see.

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The night is winding down, and Ben is considering asking Emily out. Kate is fully onboard for this plan and chants, “you’re a man, you’re a man” to motivate him, faux-wiping the sweat from this forehead. Their friendship is back on track with Ro gone, and it’s cute to watch. In the end, a very flustered Ben asks Emily out to dinner. For the second time tonight, a woman answers, yes! He then says okay I’ll see you in the morning, then probably in the afternoon, and then probably at dinner. Definitely at dinner.” Seeing him so nervous was a completely different side of Ben. And after being pursued by many, Emily is going to have a date. She is not here for no scrubs.

 

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