Welcome back to round two of The Real Housewives of Orange County in the Emerald Isle but Irish eyes are not smiling. We begin with Heather who is up, organized, and ready to go. She calls Vicki’s room. Vicki has the Irish flu, but since she and Shannon practically made out last night during their drunken debauchery at the pub, they are friends now, and all is well for now. The lucky ladies will be visiting a farm today.
Over in Meghan’s suite, she wants to go to Greystones and tap on the shoulders of her relatives. Kelly is on board to join Meghan because Tamra still wants to kill her. Although Meghan set up the farm tour, she won’t be going on it. Her lineage takes precedence.
Heather, Tamra, Vicki and Shannon are on the bus for the hour-long ride to meet the cows that create Bailey’s Irish Cream. The ladies are ready to sleep because everyone’s hungover. Vicki’s hand is caught in the trunk handle and hilarity ensues.
Back in town, Meghan is standing on a street corner, excited to meet family. Excuse me, are you an O’Toole? No. Are you an O’Toole? No. Do you know any O’Toole’s? No. Are you from Greystones? No. Have you ever heard of Greystones? Such fun.
At the farm the ladies help milk the cows and who doesn’t want to milk a cow after a night out drinking? They put on their white hazmat suits and blue rubber boots and walk in the building. Talk about all the wrong stuff. Heather goes first (I think it was Heather) and gets it done quickly. Vicki tries, gives up and starts making those gurgling/choking noises when she’s about to puke.
Back with Meghan, and not a moment too soon, she finally meets an O’Toole! Meghan is excited because the woman sort of looks like her mom if you squint. Kelly and Meghan leave the street corner and join the others at the farm for steak dinner. Meghan shares the news that she found a family member, but the ladies are distracted by Vicki’s nipples. Heather calls Terry so Vicki can flash her boobs to him (and the film crew, producer, ranch hands and catering).
Kelly is feeling sad and isolated from the group. The conversation switches to Sarah, Tamra’s daughter-in-law, but Kelly decides to apologize to Tamra. Kelly tells Tamra she thinks she’s a wonderful mom and grandma and didn’t mean what she said earlier. Tamra rolls her eyes. A montage of Kelly saying this very statement is shown. While sipping Bailey’s after dinner, Kelly brings it up again, what a great mom Tamra is. Tamra, being a new Christian, tells Kelly now is not the time.
The following morning at the hotel, Meghan stops by Tamra’s room to insert herself into the Kelly/Tamra drama. Tamra’s only wish is that everyone keep Kelly away from her today because Kelly is making Tamra want to ignore the ‘Though Shall Not Kill’ commandment. The two decide to go tour Powerscourt House to get away from the others and visit where Meghan’s relative was executed!
The rest of the ladies gather for a bike ride. Kelly and Vicki vow to quit drinking. And I don’t know when the last time these ladies rode anything other than a stationary bike, but they are having a difficult time pedaling around Ireland. This is without alcohol. Maybe that’s the problem.
During the tour, we learn that many years ago the O’Toole family trapped and murdered 60 people in the very room Meghan and Kelly are standing in. Aside from that, the room is lovely 20-years later after the big fire. Tamra who had been trying not to think of Kelly, now can’t stop thinking of Kelly. Meghan says she can feel the place is haunted. Or that could just be the hormones talking.
The ladies ditch the bikes and have a picnic with champs on the hotel lawn under the blue sky. Vicki gives into the drinking, but Kelly holds fast to her not-drinking because, according to her, there has been too much drinking on this trip. Fancy-pants Dubrow whips out her Chanel Fireball flask and pours it up. Kelly needs “dog of the hair” and gives in. Heather phones Tamra and Meghan to join them, but they decline. Tamra isn’t ready to do the Christian thing and forgive just yet.
Vicki and Kelly arrive first for dinner. Tamra is upstairs on the phone with Sarah, when Shannon and Heather show up with alcohol. Heather’s eyes have now popped back into her head after watching Kelly’s boobs hang free during croquet earlier that day. How tacky, says Heather.
Downstairs at the dinner table, Kelly tells Vicki she felt like she was all alone and attacked by a pack of wolves with the other girls. The other ladies show up for dinner, except for Meghan, who isn’t feeling well. Shannon suggests Tequila, since it’s an upper, but is ridiculous and obvious with her intent to not only get Kelly drunk – but “naked-wasted” drunk. Shannon sneaks off to tell the waiter to make their drinks a double. Then Shannon orders another round. Kelly mumbles the word “ambush,” because she’s no dummy. She knows what’s coming down the pike.
Cut to five hours later and something heavy goes down because a RHOC producer gets involved. Meghan describes the drama as World War 3! Here’s what happened — Vicki and Kelly knocked on Tamra’s hotel door — wanting her to go drinking. Tamra didn’t answer the door, so Kelly went to bed. After this, Tamra, Shannon, and Heather go have a drink in the hotel pub. Tamra texts Vicki to join them, but leave Kelly behind. Vicki does and then tells Tamra all the shade Kelly is throwing at her. A text war ensues between Tamra and Kelly. At 2:30 am the women corner Kelly in the hallway — confronting her for saying Tamra’s a mean girl — while Heather films the altercation on her iPhone. Poor Kelly just wants to go home.
It’s now 3:20 am — time to leave Ireland and go back to the States (the Irish cheer). Kelly and Shannon get into a heated argument on the bus ride to the airport. Kelly calls Shannon a drunk. Then Kelly tells Shannon to shut her big mouth and shave her hairy chin. Best line of the night award goes to Kelly! Heather proclaims that Kelly has taken them to a new low. What about when Heather whispers to Tamra that she feels sorry for Kelly’s kid? Wouldn’t that be a new low? Heather once again feels someone in the group is having a psychotic break (Heather, the common denominator is you) and calls Kelly trash.
Tune in next week when this fight continues. I’m sure the bus driver can’t get these “ladies” to the Dublin airport fast enough.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.