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‘Little Women LA’ Recap: Briana Wants A Gun After Receiving Death Threats

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

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All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

We resume Little Women: LA back in the hospital with Terra and Joe and their unnamed baby boy. This C-Section was more difficult for Terra, but it was worth it because the little tyke doesn’t need to go to the NICU. They did have a name picked out, but Joe put the kibosh on it 24 hours prior to the baby’s arrival. And I just want to say: Thank You Joe! For making sure your kid doesn’t get beat up every day.

Next, Briana is getting a gun. It’s not Halloween yet, but that’s some scary stuff, y’all. She and Elena are at the gun store. You see, Matt has been getting death threats so therefor Briana wants a gun. Not a stun gun or a laser gun or a BB Gun or a paintball gun, but a 9mm gun. Briana and Elena shoot at targets and kick butt. Elena had no idea she was so good. Afterwards, Briana suggests throwing themselves a sip and see so everyone can meet their babies. But no Christy. She can’t come. However, Elena wants to Christy come. Cliffhanger!

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Tonya visits Terra in the hospital. Terra can hardly speak (the meds are working) as she asks Tonya to be one of two godmother’s for little Baby No Name. Terra cries that no one likes the name she’s picked out, which is…are you ready…wait for it…D’Artagnan. (pronounced Dartanian) Somebody read The Three Musketeers one too many times. Will they call him Dart for short? (ba-dum-tisk) Joe originally suggested this name and now hates it. Terra nearly goes into hysterics over the name reclaim.

Across town we join Tonya, Kerwin, and Angelique who are shopping for puppy clothes for Angel the dog. But wait, there’s time for the dog to have a psychic reading. Angel’s psychic conveys that there’s a boy visiting Angelique in the house. Busted. Angel won’t say who, because she’s a dog.

Joe brings Penelope to the hospital to meet her new baby brother. She’s not impressed. Terra suggests Augustus as the name, but Joe shoots it down because of the fat kid from Willie Wonka. Joe promises they will come up with a baby name by the time Terra leaves the hospital.

Briana needs flower-arrangements for the party so she makes Jasmine do all the work. During this time Briana brags about her Annie-got-her-gun moment and blames it on Christy. Jasmine recommends getting an alarm system since there are small children in the house, but Briana says the alarm won’t chase people away. Crazy loser Matt with a gun will chase people away. Stay tuned for that. Jasmine sticks up for Christy and says she’s changed and deserves a second chance. Briana says no more second chances, and let face it, she’s given Matt so many, she done run out.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Back at the hospital, it’s time to go home, and they still don’t have a name. Terra calls out Joe yet again for reclaiming D’Artagnan. But again, the public thanks you Joe! Here is list of possibilities: Pierce? No. Born(e)? No. Grayson? Ding, ding, ding. Meet Grayson Vincent. Isn’t he sweet!

It’s time for the sip and see. Elena and Tonya have arrived early. Briana won the guest list battle and Christy won’t be coming. So let’s talk about guns! Tonya is against guns in a house with kids, and Elena agrees. The question is, why doesn’t Briana feel safe in her own house? Hmmm. Jasmine and Chris and Mason show up with the flowers. Briana, Mutt and Maverick show up next. Preston and his mom bring in Elena’s babies. The ladies look nice in their hats and Briana’s little girl is adorable and all the babies are beautiful.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

At the table, Briana, Tonya, Jasmine argue the cons and cons of having a gun in the house with children. Tonya doesn’t get why Briana is willing to put the kid’s safety at risk, but Briana is determined to buy a gun. Here’s something shocking: Guess who’s making the death threats? Briana’s own relatives. Isn’t that nice?

Elena brings up that she’s upset over Christy not being inviting. How long will this go on? Jasmine tells the ladies that Christy wants to apologize, but Elena is the only one defending Christy for being Christy. Tonya is open to an apology and Briana says she will listen but Christy’s apology had better be the best apology in the history of apologies.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Elena and Christy meet up for lunch and to prep for the apology. Elena explains to Christy exactly why she wasn’t invited to the sip and see, and Christy immediately blames Terra. Christy says she will not bow down to these women. Elena asks Christy why she can’t own up to anything. Christy says she’s just a simple peace-maker but obviously she’s a raging trouble-maker. Christy says she will fix everything. (Insert evil grin and laugh.) The girls argue louder. Christy is sick of being called Crusty! Damnit! Christy says she will give two apologies. One to Terra for going to the police about last season’s #glassgate. And one to Briana for causing her family conflict. (Insert evil grin and laugh.) Could this be our season finale (please-longest season ever)?

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Joe and Terra arrive at their old home with baby Grayson. Terra is freaking out over her schedule. The new house will be ready in two weeks, they will move, then Terra will start practicing for Dancing With the Stars – three weeks post op. But there’s still time now to freak out over the baby’s name. Terra is adamant she wants the name D’Artagnan on the birth certificate. Consider it done: Grayson Vincent D’Artagnon Gnoffo.

 

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