Below Deck

‘Below Deck’ Recap: Nico Takes His Pursuit of Emily To New Lows—Hits on Sierra & Emily!

Recap by guest blogger J.R.

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It was not a great episode for men tonight. Trevor may be gone, but misogyny lives on.

Overwhelmed from the previous night, Sierra calls her mom to vent about dinner service and Ben’s attitude during it. She says she has pretty thick skin as long as there’s positivity around her. A true test of thick skin would probably be to have it even when surrounded by negativity, but okay.

Kate suggests that Ben speak with Sierra, and let her know that despite tempers, she did a good job, which Ben agrees with. The scene goes as follows: Sierra is looking miserable while ironing, partly because of last night, partly because she’s probably sick of ironing. It’s the exact face I have while washing dishes. Ben comes in and says, “Hey last night sucked didn’t it? We don’t have to chat. Okay cool.” That was barely paraphrased, and it was barely a conversation.

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge, Lauren. Sweet, funny, beautiful, Lauren. She has a crush on Nico and thinks the feelings are mutual, which we already know aren’t, making it all the more sad to watch play out. Another thing we unfortunately watch play out, Nico and Kelley “fighting,” for Emily like she’s a prize to win and not a human being. They have an order, “work, their friendship, girls.” It would be nice if Emily could choose who she actually wants to be with instead of them aggressively trying to sway her decision amongst themselves. Work, friendship, girls, girls opinions I guess.

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The guests decide to have a push up contest; the loser gets a “V” waxed off their chest hair after the yacht’s name, Valor. The score is 9-5, so we have to watch a grown woman wax a grown man for fun. The loser asks for a kiss on the cheek from Emily, which was super uncomfortable. I barely had time to recover from my discomfort because immediately after he asks to see her “V.” NO. Nope. No. That is unacceptable. And you tipping her afterwards does nothing to justify your gross behavior. Emily took it like a champ though. The real winner in this all: Emily-2, us-0, for having to sit through it.

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At dinner, one of the guests asks what wine they’re drinking. Kate answers, and tells them they’re welcome to try something else when they finish the bottle. The guest replies that he’d like to try her too. Ugh. I can’t tell if Kate and Emily are winning for keeping their composure, or losing for having to put up with it in the first place. Either way, give Kate a point. And let us remain at zero, since we’re definitely not getting anything out of this.

It’s the last day of charter and the guests are finally leaving. They weren’t in this episode much, but it felt long didn’t it? Kate being the MVP she is, saved the guests waxing strips and had it laminated in a “V.” It takes a big person to give that kind of service despite the treatment they’re receiving. 2 extra points for Kate. Episode standings, Kate-3, Emily-2, us-0. Fair.

The crew all gathers for their tips. They receive 20K, and since Trevor isn’t there anymore it’s split only 10 ways, so they get 2K each. It’s the only good thing Trevor has done for them. It then takes them 40 minutes to separate it equally between them, which was a little painful to watch. I’m pretty bad at math myself so I’m going to chuck that to jealousy. However, I know how to count, so my feelings are torn.

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The crew has the night off and get to go out! Lauren is trying to stay out of her feelings, but she sees the chemistry between Nico and Emily and is starting to get confused. At dinner, she’s quiet and after they eat she goes off alone. Nico and Emily are dancing together, but Kelley tells Nico that he should probably speak with Lauren, which he does immediately when realizing she’s alone. He doesn’t want to hurt her, even though he doesn’t have romantic feelings for her. Nico tries to talk with Lauren, but she just needs space at the moment. With Nico gone, Kelley goes in for the kill with Emily and tells her that Nico has a girlfriend, ruining his shot with her. Back on the boat Nico tries to kiss Sierra, then Emily.

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The new charter guests are having a family retreat, husband and wife, and their children from previous marriages. I love the Brady Bunch so I’m very excited. And the guests actually eat, so Ben is also excited. They want a white party one night, so Kate is excited. And Kelley is getting a new deckhand, Kyle. It’s Valor’s redemption tour from the last charter, everyone wins. Kyle’s picture is very The Bachelor-esque, staring out, looking distant and douchey. It’s black and white and he’s holding an apple. Kate states he either has the best sense of humor ever or he’s weird.

Kyle comes on-board, Kate hands him apple, and asks about the one in his picture. There’s no real reason behind it, it just happened, and it worked. I feel like I’ve been applying to jobs all wrong and not having a picture of myself with an apple could be why I’m not getting calls back. That’s what I’m going to start telling myself at least.

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Kyle is from Manchester, has a daughter, seems to like Sierra, and has an accent so strong, Ben, who’s also from England can barely understand him. Having something in common with Ben, we finally get a point this episode, guys! Us-1.

Nico apologizes to Sierra and Emily. He also has a talk with Lauren getting everything out in the open about staying friends, which is just as well since after finding out he tried to hook up with both stews, he’s not the guy she thought he was.

The charter guests also arrive, and there’s not much to say about them except the “kids” enjoy drinking. It’s basically if Cindy, Bobby, Jan, and Peter Brady all turned legal. It’s the Brady Bunch + senior year of college. As the primary guests kids drink more than Ramona Singer during turtle time, the deckhands are out setting up the pool. Kyle slips and hurts his elbow. We won’t know how badly until next week.

This week’s episode was kind of tame wasn’t it? We don’t have to chat. Okay cool.

 

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