We meet a new couple, as international love is tested and motives continue to be exposed, on 90 Day Fiance. Let’s join the worldly love warriors now.
Jorge and Anfisa
We kick things off with the Russian and her wallet, a puffy heart shaped number named Jorge. Jorge is trying to nail down an apartment, and finally spills to Anfisa his big secret. He reveals that he was busted for marijuana cultivation before it was legal, which makes Jorge a common felon. Anfisa barely flinches, but is supposedly worried that Jorge’s wad of cash might be a big liar. Jorge reminds us all that growing pot isn’t violent.
Anfisa is going to think it over — and decide whether or not to vamoose back to Moscow. Later we learn that because Jorge didn’t murder anyone, all is good. Jorge is annoyed that Anfisa is acting like a spoiled brat about her life in America, so he decides to shove a donut into her ungrateful yapper. Anfisa whines about being neglected, but Jorge disagrees, reminding her of the McDonalds run the night before. Anfisa threatens to go back to Russia, but we all know that she’s bluffing. Jorge finally scores an apartment, and makes Anfisa happy — for now. Jorge wants his Russian honey to cook and clean — the sort of chores Anfisa was embracing in her earlier narrative. Anfisa changes her mind, but agrees to cook a club sandwich. Jorge teaches her to boil water and they enjoy pasta and cold jarred sauce, hunched over the counter in their new love nest. Things are looking up — for now.
Narkyia and Lowo
We meet Narkyia for the first time, a 37-year old nurse, and mother of one from Pennsylvania. Narkyia doesn’t like local fellas, so she hooked up with Lowo online. They met two years ago on a chubby chaser website, and hit it off. Lowo sold himself as a Nigerian prince, living in the hub of African princedom — Alabama. Narkyia became suspicious, and through an intense investigation, discovered that his son’s mother was alive, not dead as Lowo claimed. Narkyia realized that she had been catfished, when the woman shared that her prince was in Vietnam, studying business. Narkyia busted Lowo, he admitted his wrongs, and continued to passionately pursue her. Narkyia forgave him, and flew overseas to meet her fibbing casanova in person.
We jump to the present, and watch Narkyia meet up with a cousin and a girlfriend, two girls she plans to have as bridesmaids. Narkyia vaguely answers questions about her faux prince, and is worried about the ladies accepting how the shady romance was sparked. She spills that Lowo is actually a dirty liar, but assures them that aside from that, their relationship is terrific. She reveals that Lowo’s father is a polygamist, and has four wives. The women cry foul, but Narkyia explains that she had a background check done, and is sure that she will be Lowo’s first wife. Later we see Narkyia sweating over why she hasn’t heard from her fishy love. She is super anxious about his visa interview, and Narkyia finally begins wondering if Lowo is hiding something — like the truth. Narkyia is trying to be optimistic, and hopes that planning her whole life around a royal catfish won’t be a big bust.
Chantel and Pedro
Chantel and Pedro are back from spring break, and Chantel admits to feeling sort of guilty about acting like a drunken whore. Chantel is considering being honest with her parents, so the couple seeks spiritual guidance. Chantel explains her coverup to Bishop Watson, who is taken aback, as he hears them out. Bishop Watson advises the couple to tell Chantel’s parents, but to be prepared for a pissed off thunderstorm — advice which Chantel interprets as “tough love.” Nothing gets past this one.
Nicole and Azan
Nicole and Azan are still in Morocco, and Nicole is still agonizing over not being able to grope her love in public. Nicole reveals that the couple got into an argument, pre-filming, and things have gotten “weird.” Nicole chases Azan like a hungry pup, and becomes upset at Azan cringing in her direction. A producer intervenes, and Azan pleads for him to rescue him from this culturally insensitive twit. Nicole babbles like a desperate moron, and Azan asks her to please shut her babbling pie hole. Nicole finally loses it, in a needy tantrum. Azan explains that his culture and the law matter more than her grabby needs, and Nicole storms off, tossing him like a rag doll in her hissy fit. Azan admits that he won’t be able to marry someone who refuses to respect his culture.
Matt and Alla
We join Matt and Alla, who have hit the 46th day of their countdown. Alla is hitting the town with nasty Patrick’s girlfriend Julie, and Matt snarks that his hot Ukrainian has pulled off the hussy look quite effectively. Matt is staying home with Max, and Alla is thrilled to be getting out. Alla misses Kiev and her friends, but Julie is a kind and sympathetic ear. Alla shares that she promised Matt that she wouldn’t go clubbing, because Matt is annoying and jealous. Julie says that Patrick has doubts about Alla and Matt’s relationship, but Alla thinks that Patrick is unfair and pretty stupid.
Danielle and Mohamed Update — In spinoff series 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? we see that Mohamed is determined to not let the threat of being deported get him down. He wants a better life, away from his ball and chain in Ohio, and is happy to be frolicking with Luisa on Miami Beach. Mohamed later nags Luisa to find him a job, and complains to the camera that his meal ticket is pretty annoying. Luisa dares to assume that paying for a hotel makes it her place, so Mohamed storms off, to sleep in the car. Luisa gives him a “bye Felicia” as a goodnight. The duo later tries to talk out their issues, but Luisa continues the backtalk, so Mohamed is not amused. Luisa isn’t feeling Miami, and might head west. The couple finally determines that they kinda hate each other. Looks like the grass isn’t greener south of Sandusky!
We catch up with Danielle, who reveals that she did file for an annulment, but is finding it a challenge to have her homeless husband served. She dishes to her pal Beth about her situation, and reveals that there’s a new man in her life. She supposedly met Gabriel on Facebook, and they bonded over their broken marriages. Gabriel is a 35-year-old hunk, who evidently has a thing for reality train wrecks. Danielle is happy that she can stick it to Mohamed, and give him a taste of his own tacky medicine. A giggly Danielle later meets up with Gabriel to roller-skate — a cringeworthy spectacle. Danielle clutches the rink rail while noting that being with a young stud is quite an ego-booster. Gabriel labels Danielle as a sweet and strong woman, citing an attraction to heavy set, chubby, or TLC sponsored women. He likes his women older — and preferably mic’d for TLC tomfoolery. Gabriel and Danielle chat about their connection over a pile of sugar, the awkward flirtation helping Danielle to “feel like a woman.” Keep selling it Gabe — but no one is buying it.
The countdown continues next week, as Nicole rides a camel — allowing her to grope a warm body apart from Azan. Don’t miss it!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.