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‘Little Women: LA’ Recap: The Ladies Blast Tonya Over Remarks About Briana

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

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All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

On tonight’s episode of Little Women: LA we join Elena as she visits a surgical center to treat the stretch marks on her butt. Oh joy of joy. Terra say who cares about your butt, but Elena explains she’s married to a black guy. Hopefully the scent of burning flesh won’t trigger a vomit-fest with these two. A flashback is shown of Elena’s miserable yacht party. She says she wants to get to the bottom of Christy’s psycho behavior. Good luck with that. In the meantime, Terra wants the gang to take a belly dancing class, excluding Christy, of course. Is this déjà vu or did LWNY already do this?

Christy is making soap with her mom. Christy tells her mom that she’s had it with the girls. We learn Christy regrets making the following statements: to Tonya “angry black dwarf,” “STFU” to Terra and to Briana “Your autism is getting the best of you.” Which is more polite than how Christy really said it. She’s done with their sisterhood, she says. Her mom advises Christy to go on the Dr. Phil show consider moving forward from this whole mess.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Over at Briana and Matt’s place, they are playing house with their blended family. Matt’s son, Aaric is visiting from Seattle. So far he likes his little brother, Maverick. Matt sends the kids into the other room so he and Briana can slander Christy. Matt wonders if Christy’s on drugs or has brain damage. He’s not sure due to his own brain damage. But Matt is sooo tired of hearing about Plastic. It’s not like the she showed him anything – try as he might. Briana agrees that the father of her newborn son made a stupid choice but it was so six months ago, and yet Christy keeps bringing it up like it was yesterday. Briana says Christy is a disgusting human being who has no soul or respect and she’s done with her…again, like for the sixth or seventh time.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Tonya opens her door to two men holding flowers. They are here to massage Tonya and Angelique’s feet. So jealous! Tonya is trying to get her daughter to open up about her private life. Angelique admits she’s dating someone and they are in a semi-committed relationship, but doesn’t want her dad knowing her business. So until she’s ready to have the guy run off, Angelique won’t be bringing the boyfriend around to meet Tonya and Kerwin anytime soon.

Next up, Christy and Autumn discuss driver’s training. She sets up a mock car with two dining chairs. Autumn is holding a paper plate for a steering wheel and is completely uninterested in the fascinatingly non-life-like simulation. Turns out Autumn isn’t feeling well. She’s tired and hot all the time. Christy realizes it’s time to make a doctor’s appointment and get to the bottom of this. Actually, the time was a few weeks ago, but fighting with the other cast members took precedence.

Tonya is getting her hair did by Jasmine. Tonya is comfortable with her because they both suffer from thinning hair. When Tonya brings up the belly dancing lesson, Jasmine tells her that she’s not feeling it because Terra, the big bad meanie, made a mean comment. This was after the disaster photo shoot and Terra told Jasmine she usually doesn’t like people who don’t have pets. Deep down there’s a compliment in there. But here’s the solution, Jasmine – get a goldfish. Problem solved. Tonya recommends that Jasmine talk it out with the heffa.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Tonya is taking Kerwin to relive his fav movie, Top Gun. These are real flight simulators and Tonya is having trouble reaching the controls. Houston we have a problem. Tonya crashes her plane. Afterwards, she tells Kerwin about the conversation with Angelique. And this is what Angelique was worried about along and why she hasn’t been opening up to her mom – because she’d tell her dad. Forest through the trees, heffa!

Terra and Joe are going to their new home to see if the squatter is gone. The eviction notices are still on the doors, but the bother-in-law is there to hand over the keys. He tells Terra and Joe the squatter is gone, but gives a warning that there is flour all over the floors because the crazy squatter was worried someone was coming into the house and wanted to track them. Ruh-roh! Did she get this idea from the Scooby Doo Detective Agency? Terra opens the door and finds…a spotless house. They do find the powder in the bathroom, but that’s it. Tonya is with them and recommends three things: renovation, renovation, renovation. Terra is two weeks away from giving birth and five weeks away from Dancing With the Stars – though Tonya still doesn’t know that part yet. The trio hugs it out.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Briana and Jasmine are at a splash pad with Liana and Mason. Matt is at home with Maverick. Yay! We don’t have to look at his mug. Jasmine reveals she knows the gender of the baby she’s having but won’t reveal it just yet. Oh joy of joy. Another reveal party. Briana tells Jasmine about the comment Tonya made about Briana only being able to handle “little” kids. Briana and Jasmine find this extremely offensive. Then Jasmine shares the comment Terra made to her about not liking people who don’t have animals. Everyone is being a little sensitive.

It’s time to belly dance! Shoulder, elbows, wrist, fingertips. I’m confused – what about the belly? Elena isn’t feeling it. She would rather be doing this for Preston after a couple of cocktails. So far no one has gone into labor doing belly dancing, yet. And guess what? No one is fighting! And that’s because Christy isn’t here. Terra tells the group it’s so nice to be together as friends. Then she asks Jasmine what’s up with her stank-face. Whoops. Spoke too soon on that “no fighting” comment.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Jasmine brings up the comment Terra made about not liking her without having a pet. Elena thinks this is the stupidest thing ever to be upset about. I’m sure she just wants that cocktail. Then the heat switches from Terra to Tonya and the comment she made about Briana not being able to handle an average sized child. Tonya tries to explain herself but actually makes things worse. Turns out, these women will fight with or without Christy.

So, Briana and Tonya are now arguing about Matt. Tonya explains that the reason she could raise an average kid is because she’s a bad bitch unlike Briana who’s a passive peon. Then suddenly everyone is yelling at Tonya. Heffa if I was you, I’d leave. Thanks ladies for giving the serene studio crappy karma.

Tune in next week when Christy asks for help and Terra has her baby.

 

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