We begin Little Women: LA in the middle of a family visit with Elena and her mom Guzalya and sister Olga fresh from Russia. When they speak Russian to the babies it sounds like made-up baby jibber-jabber. So cute, but Preston is totally lost in translation. Elena tells him two more grandbabies have been requested by his mother-in-law.
Christy is doing something crazy! What else is new, right? She and her mom are sliding down a 1,000 foot clear slide on top of a LA building. Very cool. Unfortunately that’s over fast and the conversation switches to Christy defending herself, yet again, about inviting Plastic to the photo shoot. According to Christy, she didn’t ruin the photo shoot – Tonya ruined her own photo shoot. Even Christy’s mom thinks Christy should feel bad for putting Plastic in that position. But Christy makes this about her pain. So how’s Christy’s dad? He’s not feeling well, according to mom. Christy says mom is in denial and just hasn’t accepted that dear old dad is at death’s door. Christy explains its sooo hard always being the crazy strong one.
Tonya and Terra go to wash the car and hilarity ensues when they can’t control the powerful water wand. Tonya gets on the hood of her car to scrub the window. Girl, are you crazy? Why didn’t anyone bring a step-ladder? Who’s running the asylum? Terra has two secrets, but can only share one with Tonya. She’s not ready to talk about Dancing With the Stars (props to Terra-she’s hanging in there) she shares that Preston wants to throw a surprise birthday party for Elena’s birthday, even though Elena doesn’t like to celebrate her birthday. Disaster is written all over this one. And Tonya’s is planning on letting Christy know how wrong it was to bring Matt’s sexting scandal to her photo shoot.
Terra and Joe are at an American Sign Language class to help adorable Penny communicate more. They learn toilet, poop and I love you. Now put those in a sentence: I love to poop in a toilet! Joe and Terra have a house situation. They’ve finally purchased their first home, but the seller doesn’t want to move out. Rats! (Is what you toss in.) They’ve been in escrow for over four months. This is normally called a red flag. Next week Terra and Joe should learn to sign that word because it would come in handy for these two.
For her birthday gift, Briana and Tonya have decided to personally blow a glass ornament for Elena. Tonya says she’s great at “blowing jobs” so she handles that part. Afterwards they discuss Briana’s new baby and how she’s already lost 18 pounds. Briana asks what’s been going on and Tonya shares the story about Plastic showing up at her damn photo shoot. Briana says Plastic is trying to piggyback on her career, however isn’t it Matt who wants to piggyback on Plastic. Crazy world these two live in. Tonya warns Briana that Christy is invited to Elena’s surprise party.
Christy is in therapy and we are going along for her session. Oh, boy. What can we learn? Once again we have to hear about her bringing Plastic to the photo shoot because Christy thought everyone would appreciate knowing the truth about Matt. The therapist explains that Christy keeps talking about why she did what she did. Instead, she needs to validate what others are saying to her, like when they call her a crazy, heffa b*tch.
Joe and Terra pull up to the house they legally own though they don’t have the keys. Joe is scared to confront this woman who won’t leave the house. He makes jokes because this is how he copes but it’s freaking out Terra. I did enjoy his joke that he’ll gladly chuck a glass at the woman’s head. Their realtor and locksmith show up and together they all go to the front door and ring the bell. No one answers so the locksmith is given the go ahead, but he can’t open the screen door. Are you kidding me? You’re a locksmith, dude! They peek through the windows and can see that furniture is still there. They go to a smaller house on the property that Terra and Joe also now own and inform the tenants the place has been sold. The tenants had no idea and say the owner is actually inside the main house. Sounds like a plot for a scary movie: Big Squatter with Little People.
Briana and Matt go to lunch to talk about Plastic’s appearance at the photoshoot. Here’s Matt’s response: “What the eff is wrong with Christy?” and “There’s something seriously wrong with Christy” and refers to her as “Satan’s spawn.” Really? Hello pot, have you met kettle? Or, hello twisted, have you met self-absorbed? But the most troubling response came from Briana who is desperate said all of Christy’s antics are only making her and Matt stronger. Excuse me while I go throw up. Briana tells Matt about Elena’s party. Briana should leave Matt home with the baby, but you know she won’t.
The surprise party is on a yacht. Surprise! You get to walk up three flights on a spiral staircase. Little people prefer elevators, Preston. Tonya, Terra, Briana and their men discuss Christy bringing Plastic to the photo shoot. Tonya says she never meant to offend the LBGT community, but Christy done pulled her into this mess. Here comes Christy and Todd, but it’s time to yell surprise for Elena so yelling at Christy will have to wait. Elena is not happy. She doesn’t want to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of fighting women. This is not how she wants to spend her birthday. Elena starts crying, but won’t discuss what’s wrong. Hormones? She gets up and goes to the bathroom. In the stall she gets a pep talk from Tonya, who says, Dry your eyes, girl. Elena goes downstairs to eat with her family while the rest of the guests stay upstairs. We don’t see her again, and good thing because it gets sloppy.
Back upstairs, Tonya asks if she can speak with Christy. Tonya explains she wants to apologize to Plastic, but Christy shouldn’t have brought her there. An argument ensues when Christy tells Tonya she offended every transgender in the entire world. Christy tells Tonya she’s a “mad dwarf” who needs anger management. The two start screaming in each other’s faces. Jasmine is staying out of it, but the other ladies continue the smack down. Christy tells Briana she has autism because she’s acting weird. Matt steps in because only he can tell Briana she has autism, and tells Christy she’s sick. Todd calls out Matt for calling someone else sick. He then calls Matt a sicko. Any second I expect Christy to get thrown off the boat, but instead she and Todd walk off together, in one piece.