Recap by guest blogger J.R.
We continue right where we left off in the going to bed debacle. Nico is FaceTiming with his friend Melissa, who asks if he’s all right with the Trevor situation. He’s as all right as any person who has a coworker using all his free time to take jabs at him would be. So, no, not really all right at all.
Kelley knows that he has to find a way to reach Trevor, keep him motivated, and also keep him on-board. He doesn’t want to lose a man after only the first charter.
The next morning Sierra asks Nico what she missed from last night. Girl, what didn’t you miss. Nico describes Trevor as being THAT guy, and we all know what he means. Everyone has encountered THAT guy, and if you haven’t, kindly state where you live in the comments section. I’ll immediately pack my bags, and will meet you at your nearest airport. To elaborate, in case you live in that magical land, here’s a simple definition: THAT guy (n): a dick.
When Trevor comes in for breakfast, it’s awkward. He admits he got a little drunk, but he’s the last person to be in drama. Which is an odd thing to say after you’ve literally been the main source of it, but Nico and Lauren remain on the same page with how they feel about their fellow deckhand.
Kelley, Kate, and Ben meet with Captain Lee to learn about their new charter guests. They’re big yachties, but really the only thing you really need to know about them is that they’re bringing their dog, Scupper, who prefers eating lamb and red meat. Tonight, from a combination of laziness and lack of culinary skills, I had bacon and eggs for dinner. So yeah, hearing that a dog was going to have lamb for dinner was especially sad for me.
They’ve also requested a clambake. The guests are not even on the boat yet, and Ben is already complaining about this. The Captain suggests, and when I say suggest, I mean tells Ben and Kate to have an early dinner around 4:30-6:30 because the flies will really be out and about after that. Kate and Ben then argue about what to call this dinner. Ben tells her to call it an ‘early dinner clambake,’ but Kate just wants to call it a ‘clambake.’ It’s almost worse than the fight they had in last week’s episode, over who makes the toast.
Kelley has a meeting with Trevor about last night, and removes his title of “senior” deckhand. He’s now a regular one, just like Nico and Lauren. The best part of the scene are the subtitles. The subtitles really stole the show tonight, if you noticed. Underneath Trevor’s name we saw the removal of senior deckhand to deckhand in a way that was so unnecessary and shady that you just know the editors are fans of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Trevor, as expected, does not take it well, saying Kelley “can try to demote him.” Try? Did Trevor miss the part when it happened?
As the deckhands are taking care of the outside, the stews are readying the interior for the guests’ arrival. We learn that Sierra’s father died when she was 16, and since then she’s been constantly searching for something; she thinks she’s found it with yachting. Emily asks her about it. A lot. But Sierra tells her she doesn’t want to talk about it, which is fair being that she’s met Emily all of five days ago.
Kelley updates Captain on Trevor’s demotion, which the Captain feels he handled well, then the guests arrive. One of the guests shows Kate the dog tuxedo she’ll be steaming for him later. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds.
After prepping, it’s time for the clambake! Ben is pissy about it the whole time, and once one of the guests pulls Kate aside requesting if they can have dinner at around nine, since they’ll be hungry again by then, it really sends him over the edge. He argues that they want dinner because Kate didn’t call the clambake an early dinner. Kate argues that she could’ve said it was the last dinner of their lives and it wouldn’t have mattered. Which is true. Dinner at 4:30 pm is hardly a dinner. It’s more like a late lunch, especially on vacation. He finishes causing a scene in front of the guests, and heads back to the boat to prep for dinner.
When the guests leave, the deckhands stay back to clean up. Lauren asks Trevor if he could ask Kelley to come back with extra bags. Trevor radios him “hey man, come back with trash bags,” to which Kelley replies “you mean come back with trash bags, please.” Trevor’s first instinct is to say go back to the Marine Corps. I’m sorry, do manners only exist there? Lauren tells him to relax, and just say please and thank you, but Trevor thinks that he should be respected. He constantly demands respect, but is so unwilling to have or give any himself.
Back on-board, Ben bypasses Kate and instead directly asks the guests if they want tapas instead of a formal dinner, and they agree. The whole thing comes off as really unprofessional. Then what might be the saddest sentence ever spoken, one of the guests tells Ben her favorite food is turkey bacon. Let’s move on from that quickly like we just heard Kelley say he hasn’t had sex in five months for the millionth time.
Trevor continues to be the worse. He talks over Lauren only to make the same suggestion she’s just made, because there is nothing more fragile than a man’s ego, and he’ll come up with the ideas first! Yeah, he’s THAT guy. When Kelley calls him out for it, Trevor whines that he’s trying to make him look bad and that the deckhands are ‘undermining’ him. First, I’m convinced Trevor just learned that word because I cannot think of another reason why he uses it so frequently. Second, most times he’s using it incorrectly. Third, no seriously he uses it a lot. Like a Watch What Happens Live drinking game alert amount of times, but I digress. He later he says he feels ostracized, a word which he uses correctly, because he is, and kind of deservedly so.
The cop-out dinner of tapas goes well, and Ben calls for a truce with Kate, which he admits, is more of a surrender, because she’s better at dishing it out than he is. True.
Kelley calls his sister, Amy, and tells the legend of “The Three Dudes in a Hot Tub Arguing about a Tattoo.” But there are more hot tub stories where that one ends. The guests decide to take a dip in it before bed. They order shots, and Trevor asks if they want him to take one with him. Who invites themself to take a shot, with guests no less. Drinking is not allowed on charter, and Emily reminds him of that, but Trevor doesn’t think it matters.
The next morning the guests leave, and the crew gathers for their tips. Captain describes it as okay, like kissing your sister. ‘Okay’ is the only response I have to that, so I guess that’s accurate. They receive $12,000 so $1,085 each and have to work the rest of the day, but get to have the night off and go out. Lauren and Nico celebrate their one-week anniversary of working together. How has it only been a week?!
Once again, Trevor gets well-past drunk. He’s offering to style Kate’s hair since he was a model for Paul Mitchell for two years. He’s still in the catalogs! He’s slurring his words, and falling off of swings. He says things like “I don’t know how to do anything about talking about,” which is a direct quote, I rewound three times. One minute he tells Ben he loves him, and in the very next breath says he doesn’t give a f*ck about him. Next, in what may be the best line ever to end an episode with, the subtitles for a second time, come in clutch. Trevor leaves us with, “Look at me in my eyes and tell what asdfjkl;” because much like Trevor’s feelings toward Ben, those subtitle writers didn’t give a f*ck.