We begin this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County working out with Tamra. She has postponed her competition after the dune buggy accident since she now has back spasms. Tamra explains to her trainer Mia that even though it wasn’t very Christian of her, she told Meghan to go to hell. Much nicer than last season’s Tamra would have said it.
Next we join the Beador girls for band practice at a real studio. Nothing but the best for these girls. They are Lock which stands for Ladies of Rock. This weekend Lock will be playing a gig featuring their new song, Dream Catcher, at a bar. Nothing but the best. The girls tell their parents, mainly Shannon, not to “critique” their performance because they have a music instructor who actually knows what he’s doing. Of course Shannon can’t help herself and tells the girls they are off-key. Shannon then joins the girls singing Dream Catcher and ruins the dream.
While driving around Kelly gets a call from Tamra. The plan is to help Shannon pack up her crap, but Tamra won’t go if Kelly can’t go because Meghan will be there. And how’s a pregnant woman going to help? Pointing to stuff? Sorry, Shannon already has that job.
Over at Vicki’s house, she is still not accepting Shannon’s calls. And even though it’s only April, Vicki is planning a Christmas cruise for the family because she needs something else to focus on other than her lack of a boyfriend. Briana’s husband Ryan is back in California to share Briana’s actual birthday. He wakes up the boys to say hello and then puts them back to bed, crying.
Shannon is taking adrenals because she’s bloated over her closets. They have one week to move out and she hasn’t done a damn thing. Thank goodness the new owners are taking the furniture. Heather, Kelly, and Tamra arrive to help. Kelly is armed with a bottle of bubbly and an apology. Shannon nervously accepts. Shannon has her panties in a wad over strangers touching her unmentionables, so therefore she won’t be hiring movers. Get to work rich friends! Fun fact: Shannon is moving to Kelly’s neighborhood. Won’t that be fun?
Kelly recommends purging stuff. They start with Shannon’s ugly shoes and there are a lot of them, so the ladies put them into the throw away pile. Next is the clothes. Everything that’s not sexy and doesn’t fit must also go. Goodbye entire wardrobe!
Meghan arrives wearing some kind of funky green kerchief with a huge gold a leaf on the side. She’s gone from looking like the female Bret Michaels to a fancy Aunt Jemima. Shannon invites the ladies to hear her kids perform at a bar, including Kelly, but not Vicki. She can’t come if she won’t answer the phone. Heather can’t make it because blah, blah, blah was her reason.
The thing is, the room is getting colder by the minute between Tamra and Meghan. So Tamra says she’s going to leave and calls out Meghan for “being all fake and sh*t” running around town telling everyone she was “reckless” in the dune buggy accident.
Meghan is somewhat lethargic and explains that Tamra was the one who said she got “too confident.” I don’t see the connection, but I’m sure Jimmy was the one who told Meghan this. Eventually Meghan apologizes and Tamra seizes the opportunity to explain to Meghan that she has a way of making everything about herself. And Tamra should know. She tells Meghan she’s sorry (not sorry) she told her to go to hell and she’s (really) not sorry she hung up on her. Meghan doesn’t understand why she’s getting all the blame when Shannon was right by her side. Shannon explains that once she knew the severity of the accident she called Vicki, but Vicky has yet to call back. Meghan is firmly under the bus all by herself.
Vicki, Briana, Michael, Ryan and the boys go out to lunch for Briana’s birthday. Vicki tells the group that Shannon has called and Briana recommends her mom call Shannon back. Vicki then asks her son about Tinder. Vicki thinks she’s a good catch because…wait for it…she’s low maintenance. That’s a good one, right? Vicki also doesn’t understand why it’s so hard to find a soul mate to have sex with. I mean, Brooks was so easy to find.
The Beador girls are getting ready for their big night at the bar. David has hired a limo and says a prayer on the way to the venue because he knows something is bound to go wrong. Shannon says she is more nervous than her girls are which is code for Shannon is prepared to embarrass them all. Kelly and Michael arrive and everyone acts like they like each other. Meghan arrives without Jimmy – of course, followed by David’s mom and sister. Isn’t that sweet. Apparently not! Shannon says they don’t like her and she had no idea they were coming tonight. It’s time for Lock to rock to Dream Catcher! Shannon bops up and down, living vicariously. After their one song, the girls leave the stage. Thank you and good night!
Kelly makes the mistake of saying hello to David’s mom as she’s waiting in line at the bar, and gets an earful. Donna informs Kelly that she doesn’t get to see her grandkids because Shannon hates her guts. Grandma Donna gets all choked up and Kelly tells her it’s not true, even though Kelly doesn’t know. Kelly then makes a second blunder of the night and shares this information with Shannon. Shannon goes off to tell David there are issues, but she’s taking to high road…for now.
Grandma Donna then tells Kelly and Tamra that David had the affair because Shannon pushed him to it. Mmm-hmm. Grandma, go home. Tamra can’t believe this woman just went from pathetic to vindictive in zero to sixty flat. David tells his mom and sister goodbye as he walks away. They aren’t invited upstairs for the bar food. So there!
Meghan and Tamra talk further about their spat, but all is good now that there’s other drama going on. Shannon sits down and Kelly starts in with how David’s mom was crying. Shannon tells Kelly if she wants to be friends she will STFU. Shannon explains that David has no relationship with his family because of her and his mom needs to stop telling the kids she is a horrible mom. That’s harsh. Maybe she meant helicopter mom? Anyway, Tamra can’t hold in her hot gossip any longer and tells Shannon about his mother saying she pushed David to cheat. Let the meltdown commence!
Shannon starts yelling at David. Talk about off tune, her voice hits a rabid pitch as she points her finger in David’s face and drops F-bombs. Kelly tries to intervene and tells Shannon it’s not David’s fault that his mom feels this way. Or is it? Shannon walks off saying she is f*cking done and cries in the bathroom. Way to go, Tamra. Tamra’s like, “I didn’t think she’d react like this.” Really, pot-stirrer?
Outside the bathroom Shannon tells David he had better defend her to his family or else. So much for being over the affair. But it gets worse, in the limo ride home, the girls ask what happened with Grandma Donna. David explains that his mom said something she believes but isn’t necessarily true. Shannon is pissed. David, are you freaking kidding me? You are so sleeping on the couch tonight.
Tune in next week when it’s Kelly’s turn to have another meltdown.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.