By guest blogger J.R.
We start this episode right where we left off last week, Kelley is speaking to Captain Lee about Trevor. A reminder, it’s only day two. Kelley really wants to redeem himself and make a good impression to the Captain, and he’s worried he won’t be able to do that. Captain Lee tells him to remind Trevor that no one is indispensable. That is advice so simple Kelley probably could’ve thought of that himself…if he tried.
The day has just started, charter guests continue to be social media obsessed. They’re all consumed by it, as if they just downloaded and discovered the wonders of Instagram yesterday. As Kate speaks to the guests who give her no eye contact, Nico and Lauren vent their frustrations about Trevor. Trevor has some frustrations of his own that he tells Kelley about, he feels undermined. Nobody gets what they’re looking for from their talks, but the crew is planning a beach picnic so everyone has to work together soon.
Ben realizes that he’s running low on supplies to make gluten-free, soy-free, fat-free or as he puts it simply ‘taste-free’ meals. It’s pretty much his one and only job to make these meals enjoyable. I love Ben, but you never hear the chefs on say, Top Chef, complain about a challenge. Sierra also has her eye on Ben. She asks Emily if Kate and Ben are together, and Emily informs her of Kate’s girlfriend. Sierra says that was a cool experience she left in college. Or maybe we could not compare an adult’s life choices to your college fling?
It’s time to prep for the beach party. Nico is on the beach alone, for what we find out to be an hour, while Trevor is inside, giving him orders as he enjoys himself a big breakfast. He calls it payback, I call it petty. When he finally joins Nico outside, Nico is struggling with putting up a tent. So naturally Trevor thinks this is perfect timing to write out #beachparty with sticks in the sand. Apparently there was nothing of greater importance that needed to be done. He continues to give out orders, then proceeds to go inside and take a nap. All that playing in the sand was tiring.
Despite or maybe because of Trevor’s lack of presence, the beach party is going great. The guests are having fun, the stick hashtag is a #hit. Kelley is trying to keep it professional out there, but there is clearly sexual tension between him and charter guest Kelsey. And its been five months since he’s had sex. If you didn’t catch that don’t worry, he’ll remind you about six more times. Him and Nico gawk at the ladies playing in their bikinis. Hard life.
When everyone is back on the yacht, Trevor tells Ben about his contribution to the party with his sticks. Ben mutters a congrats. As they’re all seated around the table, Trevor is doodling on a notepad. Emily then notes that Trevor is doodling. Kelley asks Emily to say doodle again, because she has an accent, AND ITS BEEN FIVE MONTHS GUYS.
After a slight hiccup with a piece of barley, (it has gluten which one of the guests can’t eat) dinner service goes smoothly. As Ben comes out to apologize and greet the guests they mid-sentence completely ignore him and start talking about the use of filters on Instagram. Ben said it would be nice if they spoke English. It’s true, they’re basically speaking in hashtags and trending topics, it’s ridiculous.
Kelley heads to bed, but then Kelsey calls for him on his walkie-talkie. Like a cape, he swiftly puts his shirt back on, duty calls. They play connect four, then go to bed. Kelley is walking a fine line with the Kelsey, but he’s being sure not to cross it. He’s been perfectly professional so far.
We find out the ages of some crew members. Emily is 21 almost 22, Nico is 22 now, and Trevor is 24 going on 5. He says 25, but we know the truth. Emily asks about Trevor’s tattoos and he describes the jellyfish tattoo and losing his friend in a surfing accident. He then goes into detail about his other tattoos that nobody asked about. Nico slowly backs out the room.
It’s the last day of charter. Sierra oversleeps, but hears the Captain asking for his coffee and gets up and makes it for him, full sugar packet left in the cup and all. Ben and Kate start arguing about who’s at fault for burning toast while Captain Lee describes Trevor’s motions as “limp dick.” They’ve all had better mornings. Perhaps not the guests though, who are all sad to leave. They take pictures with Kelley, Trevor, and Nico, and are sure to get a shot with just Kelley and Kelsey. There’s a great view of each of the women on their phone, taking a selfie and that pretty much sums up the trip.
Captain Lee passes out as close as he gets to a compliment and tips, $15,000 altogether, so $1360 each. Trevor is shocked that he hasn’t received any personal compliments to his hard work. I mean did they see #beachparty?! He made that with sticks!
Once getting his tip, Trevor proceeds to buy a $14,000 truck, instead of oh I don’t know, working for those compliments he’s dying to get?? With the Captain sitting directly across from him, he continues to delegate his share of the work to Nico and Lauren. In doing so he’s cleared up his schedule to fix the stews bathroom that’s been backed up. Karma works in mysterious, but very real ways.
Best line of the episode goes to Kate who says that Sierra has resting happy face, like lunatics and Labradors. A close second is when she tells Emily that she and Nico would look cute together. And she would hit on him if he wasn’t 22 and she wasn’t a lesbian. She can change her sexual preference forever, but I hope she never changes her wit.
Kelley asks Trevor to come down for assistance, and on the walkie, which the Captain also can hear, says no. For someone who will incessantly tell you he was a bosun, he’s acting like a real amateur.
The crew has the night off! They get dressed and go out for drinks and dinner. Pretty sure Trevor only has drinks. The misogynist that was just barely hiding comes out in full force, telling Sierra she looks like the god, and Emily has the personality of one, so if they combined that it would be perfect. He also had a full conversation directed at Sierra’s breasts, which he then blamed her for. And because being drunk is the best time for problem solving, confronted Kelley again for feeling undermined. “My deckhands don’t listen to me,” he whines.
Trevor, Kelley, and Nico head up to the hot tub. Nico pleads with Lauren not to leave him alone with them, and she promises to come back. Not soon enough though, cause in the short time she’s away Trevor insults the tattoo Nico got when he was 14. No…the illegal tattoo an under-aged Nico received in a basement isn’t good?! I’m shocked. Like yeah, probably won’t be good, but no need to bring it up. Nico leaves, pissed, and Kelley concludes this is why they don’t listen to you, you don’t respect them. He tells him to just go to bed.
“YOU”RE NOT MY DAD!” Trevor yells at Kelley like they’re in a bad sitcom where his mom gets married to the guy he hates cause that means he isn’t the only man in the house anymore. So again, Kelley tells him to cool off and go to bed. He’s not his dad, but he’ll still be respected! But Trevor is not having it. He eavesdrops and hears the rest of the crew complaining about him, and decides to confront them about it instead.
Everyone on the crew is telling Trevor to go to bed. I’m telling Trevor to go to bed. If you listen hard enough you can hear the ghost of season three Bethenny Frankel telling Trevor to go to bed. He walks away in a huff. Nico also takes himself out of the situation and heads to the guest cabin Kate offers him… until next week!