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‘Little Women LA’ Recap: Jasmine Attacks Christy At The Murder Mystery

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

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All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

We join the Little Women: LA for yet another spa day. It’s just Elena and Terra so maybe things won’t get messy on this excursion. Through their pimply, green faces, we learn that no one knows what’s up with Briana. She left her own party due to labor pains, but hasn’t updated the girls on her status. In the meantime, Elena wants to plan something fun for the group and Terra recommends a murder/mystery party. With this group, I don’t think this is a good idea because someone’s libel to wind up dead for real. Elena wants to invite Christy anonymously. Terra tells Elena that Christy is taking pills again, without having any actual proof, but Elena doesn’t believe it. So it’s decided. Christy’s invited.

Announcing Maverick Jax! He made his way into the world via C-section weighing over 5 lbs and 17 inches long. He is achondroplasia, but so far is only struggling with water in his lungs. Matt is scared. He hasn’t ever had a baby hooked up with wires and tubes before. Matt and Christy kiss. Eww.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

The invites have gone out for the murder/mystery party, now it’s time to shop for the occasion. Christy meets up with Tonya and Elena, but no time for shopping, it’s time to accuse Christy of setting up Briana to get served at Kerwin’s cowboy party. Christy denies it. Christy says Briana was going to get served eventually because she never paid Julie the ex-publicist. Christy says she had no idea it would happen at Kerwin’s party. Tonya smells a rat. Christy says, “Let’s just say I did. Who the f*ck cares? Really? Who the f*ck cares? She deserves to be served.” Tonya’s mouth falls open. Girl is shocked at the level of stupidity.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Christy says she no longer cares about Briana. The two are now dead to each other. Christy cries and goes through a litany of things going wrong in her life and how she’s the victim, waaaah. Elena thinks Christy is sad and Tonya thinks Christy is bizarre. They are both right!

Jasmine is the first one to visit Briana at the hospital. Briana tells her she’s tied her tubes so she won’t be birthing no more babies. Jasmine is shocked. Her husband will be the one who will get the snip-job, not her. Come on, Jasmine, wake up and smell the formaldehyde. Matt’s not going to get a vasectomy, he’s not done spreading his seeds. Briana and Jasmine go see little Maverick in his NICU. It’s heartbreaking to see his sweet face squished up with all the tiny tubes. Jasmine becomes worried this might be her fate with her new baby.

Kerwin and Tonya are playing ping-pong and are very competitive. Basically, Tonya ruins the moment by telling Kerwin about the conversation with Angelique and how she thinks her mama is settling for her own father. So Tonya plans a water day of pedaling big bikes on a pond. And just like the ice-cream parlor, this isn’t going to work. They give Kerwin a rope and have him pull around Tonya while he does all the pedaling. That Tonya is wicked smart. Afterwards, it’s time to talk. Angelique explains she was worried her relationships would change with each of them because no one included her in on the new family plan. It’s decided they will all work on their communication.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Terra tells Joe the exciting news that she will be the first little person to be on Dancing with the Stars. A couple of seasons ago they had the triple-crown jockey, but he’s just short. Terra will be the first little person ever – the question is – should she? DWTS practice starts three weeks after her scheduled C-section. Most doctors recommend waiting six weeks before resuming exercise. Normally that consists of someone running on a treadmill for 45 minutes. DWTS is 4 to 6 hours of ball room dancing per day. And Terra will have a secondary problem called balls-in-the-face if her dancing “pro” is too tall. Fascinating stuff, huh?

Terra will do whatever it takes to be on DWTS and represent no matter what her doctor says. Joe wants her to listen to the doctor. Terra asks the doctor and he explains her scar could rupture, she will probably feel cramps, and could re-injure the area, but all Terra hears is yes, yes, yes.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Briana’s daughter, Leiana, is at the hospital to meet her little brother and she handles seeing the wires and tubes like a champ. Matt is enjoying playing the part of concerned husband/father. Briana is so very happy she didn’t die during her pregnancy and now has the perfect family she’s always dreamed. Uh-oh. That’s like saying, “I’m king of the world” right before you hit the iceberg.

It’s time for the murder/mystery party! Everyone is there except Briana, understandably, and the guests are dressed like gangta’s going to a funeral. Terra disses Christy when she tries to hug her. They are given envelopes with their information. The goal is to solve the infamous murder of the Black Dahlia. Just then, someone screams. It’s Rita! She’s dead.

The ladies all jump in to solve the murder. This is great because no one is fighting and everyone is getting along. Suddenly, Ruth aka Tonya, has been poisoned. She’ll die if her friends don’t find the anecdote. Christy finds the anecdote but it turns out to be poison. Christy kills Tonya. But who killed Rita? Jasmine! Jasmine enjoyed that Christy got framed.

Afterwards the ladies talk and things get messy. Jasmine blames Christy for setting up Briana, and even though we’ve already discussed this, we are going to discuss it again. Christy denies it. For some reason there’s an unwritten rule that little people can’t use the same publicist. I did not know this. But Christy gives it right back when she reminds all of them that three weeks ago they couldn’t stand Matt, and now they think he’s great? Terra says none of them are okay with Matt and his compulsive sexting, but they are okay with moving forward Briana.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Then we hear that Christy’s son basically disowned her, and I’m like, say what? Christy has a son? Apparently so. Terra tells Christy that Briana thinks she’s popping pills. Briana, who just had a baby and is not there to speak for herself. That’s low. Terra tells Christy she doesn’t tell the truth and that’s why she doesn’t have friends and her marriage sucks. This is news to Todd. Even Joe speaks up and says Christy and Todd’s marriage doesn’t suck because Christy found a man who will back up her bullshit. It’s about to go down – little style.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Elena is giving up on getting the gang back together. Christy tries to tell them they have no idea what’s been going on in her life. Terra says she doesn’t want to know what’s going on in her life. So another casualty of the murder mystery party, the friendship between Terra and Christy is officially dead. That’s Christy’s second dead friendship this episode. Christy and Todd march off, but tune in next week because Christy’s got a trans up her sleeve.

 

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