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‘Little Women LA’ Recap: Briana Suspects Christy’s Involvement In Her Legal Trouble

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

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All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

We join Little Women: LA as Briana and the repulsive Matt are having lunch while they discuss throwing themselves a pre-pop / housewarming / gift grab party. Bonus: if Christy shows up, Briana is calling the cops. Fingers crossed Christy shows up. Matt and Briana blame Christy for being served at Kerwin’s cowboy party. Having said that, if Briana had settled her financial bidness with the publicist, this probably wouldn’t have happened. Matt and Briana suspect this could mean only one thing: Christy must be popping pills. Matt wants to announce the baby’s name at the party because it’s such an awesome name. If it’s Matt Jr. I will throw up.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

There’s a quick scene at Terra and Joe’s house as they force poor Penny to dip her hand in wet paint and smash it onto construction paper. Penny starts to cry, then they teach her a new word. Over at Elena’s, she and Preston relax outside while Elena discusses how horny she is. It’s only been three weeks and they must wait six, plus the babies start to cry, so it was never going to happen.

It’s go-time with Tonya and Terra. They’ve been BFF’s forever until Terra slammed Tonya’s lotus flower design on her active wear line. When the two meet up, Terra apologizes right away. Tonya explains there’s a difference between constructive criticism and shady condemnation, which is what Terra did. Christy’s name comes up and Terra says she’s super-shady and why is Tonya reaching out to her, of all people. Terra stirs the pot some more by telling Tonya that Angelique think’s her mother is settling. Tonya says her daughter is a grown ass woman and can go get a mortgage if she doesn’t like it. Preach!

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Christy and Autumn go to yoga, which Christy says is easy, except for that she’s a dyslexic dwarf. (Her words.) They discuss the poor health of Grandpa and Autumn proclaims she doesn’t need to see a therapist – though her mother sure could use one.

Over at the ice cream parlor where you have to ride a bike to churn it, of all the dumb things, Tonya meets up with Elena and Jasmin. Elena uses the opportunity to tell Tonya she’s not happy with her. Elena wants people to know she is allowed to speak her mind, even if the timing is inappropriate and she’s never seen Tonya’s active wear line. Next, they discuss Briana’s party and how Jasmine feels the need to tell Matt how much he disgusts her. I want to be happy, but I know Jasmine won’t get in the mud with Matt, so I’m only mildly looking forward to this.

Chris and Jasmine go for a walk on the beach to discuss how busy they are, and isn’t it nice that they finally have some alone time before the second baby comes along, so why don’t they ruin the moment by talking about Matt and his sick sexting ways. Jasmine tells Chris her plan to discuss her true feelings with Matt at the party, but is concerned Matt will go off? Chris tells Jasmine she’s a worry-wart. How rude, right? I think the pc term is concerned small growth.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Elsewhere, Tonya and Angelique are trying aerial aerobics. The “flying” doesn’t go so well for Tonya. They try something different and that doesn’t go well either. Tonya gives up and says she’ll stick to her sex swing. Ewww. Tonya informs Angelique that Terra told her she is settling for Kerwin, Angelique’s own dad. Angelique doesn’t like how she wasn’t consulted prior to this big decision of getting back together. It’s too quick. Tonya explains their unique love story is hard for others to understand sometimes, even their own daughter.

Todd and Christy are at the gardening center picking out plants for their new house. Christy informs Todd that her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus. She doesn’t know what this means, but chemo could be on the horizon. Todd says that due to this new information he has just received, he feels it would be arrogant of him to search for his birth parents right now. Christy is confused because Todd needs this medical information. He says right now Christy’s dad is the priority, though we all know something’s up because Todd’s not that altruistic. They pick a plant with a “solid trunk” because it reminds Christy of Todd. Again with the eww.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

It’s party time and everyone has arrived, except Christy, so the police aren’t called. Jasmine is anxious about what she’s going to say to Matt. She asks Matt if they can speak privately and he agrees. Jasmine tells him what he did was disgusting. Matt takes it in as he musters up a lone tear. He says there’s “no excuse” for what he did and he’ll do it again but hopes this baby will change him unlike the other two kids have. They both agree to move forward for Briana’s sake.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Jasmine gives the girls the rundown on the Matt-drama and Briana is happy it’s over (for now). Terra doesn’t understand why Jasmine had to open her big little mouth when she’s not the one stuck sleeping with Matt. Ew. Talk moves on to Christy being the one who informed the ex-publicist of Briana’s whereabouts that day. Tonya and Elena aren’t ready to believe Christy is that evil. Terra and Joe say, oh yes she is. Briana suggests that Christy is probably taking drugs. Terra says she and Tonya have also thought this. Adderall is suggested culprit.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

They play a game to reveal the baby name: Maverick Jax. Afterwards Briana is nearly doubled-over with pain that won’t stop. Her C-section isn’t scheduled for another two weeks. Briana is scared something is wrong so she decides to go to the hospital. Briana wheels her walker all the way down the side walk, then down the driveway and then to the car. Lord, woman! I wanted Matt to pick her up and carry her to the car. No time to be the martyr. Get to the hospital!

Scenes are shown for the rest of the season and the sh*t hits the fan. Briana has her baby, Elena has a party, and a transgender has a cow.

 

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