‘Little Women: LA’ Recap: Tonya’s Western Party For Kerwin Brings Drama With Terra!

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All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

This week on Little Women: LA, Tonya and Kerwin are cycling through the hood, planning a hoedown to welcome Kerwin into their little world. They go over the guest list and Terra is not on it, y’all. Kerwin advises Tonya to work out the controversy with Terra so there won’t be no controversy with Terra. Little do they know, there will be a show down at the hoedown and it has nothing to do with Terra.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Todd is taking Christy to the park to relax, but she’s suspicious because he didn’t bring what relaxes him the most – food. Todd wants to discuss finding his birth parents. Christy thinks it’s a good idea – he deserves all the health information he can get – but Christy is worried this will hurt Todd’s dad’s feeling and recommends they tell him first.

Terra, Joe, Jasmine and Chris are on a farm picking fresh vegetables in between Joe’s vulgar displays of what he can do with a giant cucumber. (Dream on, Joe!) Terra asks Jasmine if she’d rather have an average size child or a little person. This question is a landmine, but Jasmine tearfully explains that with her type of dwarfism she was often called baldy and doesn’t want her child, especially a daughter, to go through the teasing she endured, so for that reason, Jasmine wants an average size child. There’s really no wrong answer, but Terra feels her answer is the only right answer.   

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

At the market, Jasmine tells Terra that Tonya was extremely upset over the negative comments Terra made about her active wear line. Terra explains the active wear line is from the 90’s and she’s worried if she doesn’t tell Tonya how much it sucks, it will be yet another failure. Even more insulting, in Terra’s opinion, is that Tonya is now confiding in the sworn enemy, Crusty. But it gets worse for Terra. She learns she’s not invited to Kerwin’s hoedown party, y’all.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Briana and Matt are setting up the baby’s room, discussing the potential health risks of their unborn baby boy. Matt then asks whom he shouldn’t call when Briana goes into labor. Christy is on the Do-Not-Call list – though Briana has plenty of others on it, too. Briana says she doesn’t trust that Christy won’t ruin the moment and try destroy her marriage to sleaze ball Matt.

Todd and Christy contact his father via video chat and break the news he’s going to try to locate his birth parents. I guess this will be part of a future episode and that’s why we’re seeing it. His dad has no problem with this and Christy was nervous for no reason. Todd tells his dad he will tell his birth parents, thanks.

Elsewhere, Terra meets with Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, about the friendship breakdown between herself and her mother. Angelique says Terra has every right to tell her mother what her opinion is about the active wear line. Terra asks Angelique for an invite to the party and Angelique says she can go. Behind her mom’s back, y’all. Angelique confides to Terra that things at home are weird. She thinks her dad’s heart is in it, but feels her mom is settling and doesn’t think their reunion will last. Terra is stunned.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

At the boxing gym, Tonya needs to punch out the hate she’s getting from the haters and beats the crap out of the bag. Angelique is with her and tells Tonya that, oh by the way, I invited your ex-best friend to the party you didn’t invite her to. Angelique should have told Tonya this information before class, not after. Tonya walks off.

Across town, Terra and Briana are shopping. Briana is using a walker to get around and they discuss failure-to-thrive and how Briana didn’t walk until she was five – and look at her now – using a walker! Next they discuss Kerwin’s hoedown. Terra tells Briana she’s invited by Angelique, but not by Tonya, although she’s tried to contact Tonya, but Tonya won’t respond. Terra is going to the party whether Tonya likes it or not, y’all, and she’s not leaving until they talk. Tonya should definitely talk to Terra first thing!

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

It’s time for the hoedown! Tonya has pulled out all the stops and hopefully no water glasses will be thrown at this event. There’s a mechanical bull, lots of hay, red gingham tablecloths, farm animals, and the attire is cowgirl-chic. Tonya is not happy that Terra is coming and doesn’t like that her daughter is being more mature than she is. Matt and Briana are first to arrive. Jasmine and Chris are next. Christy and Todd arrive, and when Christy tries to hug Briana, she is only offered a hand. Elena, Preston, Terra, and Joe arrive and Terra forces a hug on Tonya. Cheers, y’all!

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Jasmine, Elena, and Terra discuss how rotten Terra feels being left out. Terra says that she’s known Kerwin the longest and deserves to be here the most, y’all. Terra doesn’t understand why Tonya fails to see the “helpful” advice she’s giving about her crappy active wear line. She’s obviously being a good friend.

It’s mechanical bull time! The pregnant heifers can’t ride so the others show them how it’s (not) done. Down goes Kerwin. Down goes Chris. Down goes Preston. Down goes Matt – though not hard enough. Next up is Tonya. The bull starts out slow, but then picks up steam and tosses Tonya. Maybe she and Kerwin can practice later. Sorry about that visual, y’all.

While the gang eats, Christy is in tears over her baked beans, because of Briana’s rebuff. Matt and Briana walk away, and at that precise moment, a man in a suit walks up and serves Briana legal papers. It’s from her ex-publicist Julie who apparently knew they’d all be there because Julie is now the current publicist of Christy. Perhaps that’s why Christy was in tears. Did she know there was going to be a show down and the hoedown?

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Briana is not surprised by this classless bitch move by Christy. Terra waddles up and asks what just went down, and Briana tells her about Christy’s shadiness. Terra is not surprised either and can’t believe that Christy is making Matt look good.

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

Afterward the lasso lesson, Tonya and Terra find a moment to chat and clear the air. Terra says she won’t lie to Tonya like everyone else and tell her the active wear line isn’t crap when it is. Then Elena, who has been very quiet this episode, jumps in to say she doesn’t see a future for the active wear line either. Tonya don’t care. Party’s over. Bye, y’all bitches!

All About the Tea_Little Women LA S5

 

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