It’s in vitro time on The Real Housewives of Orange County! Once again Jimmy isn’t there to share the moment with Meghan, but on the plus side he doesn’t have to hear about the disaster dinner party. Adding insult to injury, there are only four viable embryos which the doctor said was expected for “a woman Meghan’s age.” That hurts more than being called a C-U Next Tuesday. There are three females and one male, and the females are the strongest. Jimmy wants Meghan to take him off the speaker phone so they can talk privately, and we all know what Jimmy doesn’t want to say out loud – he wants a boy. The verdict is they will shoot for boy/girl twins. Spread your legs, here we go!
Next, we join Heather as she takes Katerina to a place where she can write a book and become published. It’s never too soon to work on that resume. Tamra drops by to commiserate with Heather about the dinner party. Heather could not believe the “C” word was used in her presence. How vulgar! How inappropriate! Does Kelly speak this way in front of the First Lady? Tamra says she feels bad for Kelly because she obviously has serious mental problems. Heather applauds Tamra for not slitting Kelly’s throat like the pre-baptized Tamra would have.
Over at Meghan’s, Kelly stops by to check on her after surgery. Meghan is resting in bed and shares her ultrasound, then her disappointment in Kelly. Meghan tells Kelly is on Team Shannon for this one. That Kelly went balls-to-the-walls psychotic at the dinner party and Meghan was embarrassed to be her friend. Kelly tears up and says that she gets defensive when she feels attacked. Kelly informs Meghan she’ll understand one day, when she’s a mother, not a step-mother, stuff you don’t want out in the universe. Which doesn’t make sense. Eventually, Kelly apologizes for ruining Meghan’s night. Meghan tells Kelly to be calmer and more logical with her thinking – like Jimmy is teaching her.
David calls Shannon on the phone and sings Happy Birthday. He tells Shannon she has 20 minutes to pack for an overnight trip, without kids. Shannon is excited, but hesitant. As you recall, Shannon birthday celebration last year was at a burger joint. The pressure is on David this year. Shannon takes longer than 20 minutes because she packs like she’s going away for a month.
This surprise party has been in the works for weeks. Tamra, Heather, Meghan, Terry, Eddie, and, Jimmy (can you believe Jimmy showed up?) are on the way to the party venue in a limo bus. Meghan shares the video of the doctor inserting the specimens into her va-jay-jay to the girls. Jimmy gives the other guys a shrug, as if to say, help. Tamra and Heather don’t want to watch the video either, but are trapped in a moving vehicle.
David is driving the unsuspecting Shannon, and he is very excited. A flashback is shown of Vicki leaving a recent message for Shannon to put their anger aside for Vicki’s birthday, which is a few days after Shannon’s. Vicki wants to go to the desert and whoop it up. Shannon explains to David, who had the stupid audacity to think it was a good thing that Vicki invited her, that she is not angry, just has total disdain and an utter dislike for Vicki, and that’s totally different.
The “happy and loving” couple arrive at the hotel they were married at the Inn at Rancho Santa Fe. Their suite is sweet. David asks Shannon it they can “knock it out real quick.” And they say romance is dead! Thank goodness Shannon got that bikini wax today.
Back in the OC, Kelly and Vicki, the only two not invited to Shannon’s party, meet for their own party and to knock back a few of their own. Kelly tells Vicki about their non-invites and Vicki is sad. Kelly admits that she was completely out of line at the dinner party. Vicki, who is now Kelly’s mentor, says she gets her because her mother was a screamer too. And the apple doesn’t roll far from the tree. Vicki explains that social graces will earn Kelly the respect she desires. And Vicki will teach her all about it.
Jenni Pulos, Jeff Lewis, and Gage Edward from Flipping Out have also showed up for Shannon’s party. Shannon is still getting ready, near tears that her makeup couldn’t be professionally done, and probably a little tipped off to some degree that something is up. After David receives the text he was waiting for, they are going to dinner, but first they are going to stop at the hotel lobby first. I mean why not. SURPRISE! Shannon is shocked. She continually says, “Are you kidding me?” Jeff can’t believe it was kept a secret this entire time and tells her he received so many group emails about this damn party he nearly had to quit his job. Ba-dum-tisk.
Back over at the restaurant, things aren’t as festive. They try to liven it up by discussing going to Greece. When Vicki asks if it’s okay for Kelly to travel or if she has a controlling husband, to which Kelly replies, “Yeah, that’s why I left him.” But that was the old Michael, you see. Kelly enjoys being with the new Michael – until he begins to annoy her – which is generally every five minutes. Mentor Vicki tells protégée Kelly that “being single sucks.” What a fun evening!
Back at birthday party, David tells Shannon he has another surprise for her. The guests are ushered to the next event which is an outside vow renewal ceremony. The added surprise is the Beador girls are also there to share in the moment. Remember the last vow renewal with Ramona and Mario Singer? Good times. It’s a magical night as David and Shannon exchange vows. The pastor performing the ceremony is so excited to be there after being told first of David’s cheating and witnessing “the couple’s courageous decision” not to totally disintegrate on national television. David tells Shannon that she is his rock and his soul. They are re-pronounced husband and wife. Shannon is speechless. And the crowd goes wild!
As the happy couple mingles before they dine, Jeff Lewis tells Shannon that Vicki will be there soon. Ba-dum-tisk. Shannon has a good laugh. Meghan shares with David they will know in a week if they are about to become the parents of twins. And for the final surprise, David tells Shannon they are going to Cabo for four days for her honeymoon/birthday party. Shannon tells Tamra the good news and expresses her total gratitude that she…got a bikini wax today.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.