‘RHONY’ RECAP: Bethenny Spills Damaging Cheating Secret About Luann’s Relationship With Tom!

The Real Housewives of New York resumes in Miami, where Bethenny is babbling the upsetting info about Tom, to Carole and Ramona. Ramona works hard to hide her glee, but she can’t resist clicking her heels together as she skips out of Bethenny’s room to tell Sonja. Tom was hammered and making out like an man-whore, and Ramona can barely contain her joy. Carole can’t wait to see the photos, but promises that she will lie like a fake writer if anyone asks if she viewed the evidence. Ramona runs into Luann a little later and plays stupid, stifling a smile, while prying for info. Bethenny gives us the blow-by-blows in her talking heads, narrating the viewers through her know-it-all thought process. Meanwhile, Bethenny and Carole huddle and gasp over the pictures, trying to contain their middle school giggles.

The ladies meet up for dinner, and a few are lagging, so Sonja is excited to have some alone time with her restored mentor, Bethenny, and Ramona. Bethenny doesn’t disappoint, and immediately launches into rinse and repeat blather about Dorinda and John. Bethenny diagnoses Luann’s engagement as rushed and manic, and thinks that Luann is just in love with the attention. She soon figures out that Ramona immediately blabbed the info to Sonja — who has conveniently been re-elevated to Ramona’s bestie for the evening. Sonja assures the annoyed Bethenny that Ramona’s delight was really deep upset, sharing that she herself experiences diarrhea when things get emotionally hysterical. The trio chatters excitedly about Sonja and Tom’s old sex schedule, and Sonja’s tragic loss. 

The other ladies are super late, but finally arrive, and Ramona scrambles to grab seats like a preschool brat. Carole is wearing an odd Frederick’s of Hollywood for seniors number, but the cringeworthy spectacle doesn’t stop Bethenny from blasting her sidekick, for being inexcusably tardy for the party. Carole hangs her head, and asks if she should stand in the corner, as Bethenny rants and raves like an underfed shrew. Luann is heard saying that she has no idea what Tom is up to that evening, to Sonja’s raised eyebrow.

The ladies chat about the next day’s plans, and we hear that Dorinda has set up a fun outing to a party on a sandbar. Ramona is staunchly anti-picnic, and complains, while eyeing Bethenny for backup. Dorinda waves her arms around and slurs out her expectations, while the ladies tap their fingers, waiting for her to finish. Bethenny and Sonja return to the hotel, but the other ladies hit a club. Jules gets drunk and mounts a horn on stage — much preferring a big brass instrument to her cheating husband. Bethenny and Sonja cuddle up, to hash out Bethenny’s chronic moodiness, and dish some bonus Tom-dirt. Sonja giggles over Bethenny’s predicament, as we jump back to the bar where the girls are getting plastered, and Ramona is primping in preparation to body slam a man.

Back at the hotel, Bethenny is gloating about knowing everything — her usual evening routine. Sonja tries to get Bethenny to call Tom, to get his side of the story. Bethenny phones Tom — Tom doesn’t answer, and Bethenny assumes that he’s likely banging another bunny. She decides that it’s a good idea to think about it, while yakking to anyone and everyone who will listen.

Day breaks, and the ladies gather for breakfast. Bethenny is worried that  her big yapper might pollute Luann’s weekend. Carole stirs the pot by sharing that Luann believes that Sonja has overblown the non love affair. Sonja throws out that Tom is mistreating her — how does one treat a boinking buddy? Dorinda comments that she is sick of the banter, as Ramona crawls in, faking an extreme cougar afterglow. Ramona refuses to go on the outing, because she doesn’t feel like flaunting her goods in shallow  water. She wants to get dressed up and look at pretty people, not sandy ones. Ramona models her daytime slutwear, and Bethenny and Sonja are on board for the more civilized Bagatelle. Bethenny gossips about Tom to Dorinda — because she is way out of the loop. No one really believes that Luann will marry Tom — except Dorinda, whom Bethenny charmingly labels “the village idiot.” Sonja claims that she was about to meet her new in-laws, before Luann rudely stole Tom out from under her — literally.

The group splits, and Dorinda, Luann, Jules and Carole — still smarting from her hindquarter Skinny-spanking, head out to the sandbar. They diss Ramona, Sonja and Bethenny for defecting, as we jump over to the traitors, who have nothing to talk about, besides Tom. Bravo hops us between the groups, and Luann’s day is made when some boys recognize  her — almost inspiring an unplugged performance of ‘Chic C’est La Vie.’ The sandbar scene looks a bit rough, but the women make the best of it. Sonja continues to rant about Tom, blowing up their drunken romps to scenes  from Romeo and Juliet.

Luann complains about Bethenny’s jab insinuating her marriage was cheap, while admitting that her marriage was open…but against her wishes. Luann is upset about the dirty Tom gossip, nervous about what these hideous bitches, or perhaps Bravo spies, will dig up.

The gals are now back at the hotel, getting dressed for dinner. Dorinda is still peeved at Ramona for leading the revolt, and Bethenny invites a well-known, pajama-wearing artist, Romero Britto, who whisks her away in his sports car. The group gathers, and Sonja has broken out her tiara for their last night. Dorinda is annoyed with Ramona for ditching them to dance on tables, and Jules pushes Dorinda to call her out. Ramona informs her that she finds whoring around in restaurants relaxing, and Dorinda rolls her eyes, snarking that she is so over her tired barfly routine. Dorinda just wanted Ramona to be honest, but Ramona points out that she doesn’t need a nagging mother bossing her away from tramp-dom. 

Back at the hotel, a bikini-clad Bethenny prances around her Skinnygirl display for the viewers, as Luann arrives for the big reveal. Luann communicates her feelings about Bethenny’s crass comments about her marriage to Alex, and her inappropriate questions about her future marriage to Tom. Bethenny apologizes for assuming that Luann and her ex husband were prowling for other partners, and for doubting that Luann’s idea of marriage meant monogamy. Bethenny begins to stammer about having some upsetting news to spill, while really, truly wishing that it could someone — anyone other than her, delivering the scrumptious news, ON CAMERA.

Luann asks if it’s so difficult, why do it…but as we all know, Bethenny can’t resist. She spills that Tom is in murky yellow do-do, and she has the photos to prove it. Luann tears up, begging her to stop, but knows that such a wish is lost on Bethenny, so she runs out. Luann barks at the cameras to cut, and tries to escape behind closed doors.

The Tom drama plays out next week, on the season finale — don’t miss it!

 

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