‘Little Women: Atlanta’ RECAP: Booty and The Beach
Ms. Juicy and Monie are sitting on the porch at the beach house rocking in chairs as if they were waiting for reservations at Cracker Barrel. While they take in the sun chewing the fat, Ms. Juicy expresses excitement about their girls’ weekend. However, she wishes that restraining order she served on Big Tammie included Minnie as well. Minnie is a buzz kill. She keeps talking about chicken wing gate. Monie agrees Petty Betty should have stayed home. She just craves peace in Myrtle Beach. As I watch Ms. Juicy and her new hair style, I cannot help but crave flaming hot Cheetos.
Meanwhile, Minnie and Amanda are in the bedroom talking about how much Minnie now regrets coming to Myrtle Beach. She is tired of feeling like “the big elephant in the room.” Wait for it. She wishes everyone would forget that she is a big ole liar and just move on. Amanda tells her “you got this boo.”
Back in Texas, Emily is meeting a friend, Anna, who recently gave birth to a toddler. Seriously her baby was nearly 9 pounds. He is a beautiful baby boy. They are at a trampoline park with their daughters also. Watching Anna with her healthy baby boy makes Emily a bit sad because she keeps thinking about her son J.J. who is still in the hospital. He is progressing, but still very small. Lontel is afraid to hold him. When it comes to J.J.’s care, Emily has more faith in the nurses than his father. She admits even if Lontel is a horrible boyfriend, he is a good father to little J.J. and won’t leave them. #GetWellSoonJJ
The ladies are on the beach getting their tans on. Melissa, the new girl, and Bri are showing off their toned bodies. They are in shape and Bri’s new knockers she recently received during an episode of Atlanta Plastic look great. Amanda may not work out but she can twerk out and she shows Melissa. Melissa is not a fan of twerking on the beach and says a proper lady must twerk only in a bar. Everyone pretty much chants twerk, twerk, twerk, but Melissa doesn’t take the bait. Amanda thinks Melissa is stuck up. To break the mood, Minnie pulls out her selfie stick and tries to snap a pic of she and Monie, but Monie picks up her chair and moves it to the other side. Minnie is hurt and asks to speak to Monie. The girls give them some privacy. Minnie is tired of her BFF treating her like she is a “bitch on the street.” Monie reminds her that she is no longer her BFF and, because of all the lying Minnie does, she has trust issues with her. Minnie doesn’t admit to lying, but says she felt ashamed because she was in love with Pastor Troy and he used her. Okay. Monie says in her talking head Minnie needs to stop lying, stop being fake, and stop manipulating people.
All the ladies return to the beach house to sip on some wine and talk smack. Ms. Juicy comes out of her room with a surprise for them all – miniature biker’s vests with patches. They are their own bike club with their nicknames on their backs – Sons of Anarchy Watch Out! As Ms. Juicy passes out the jackets and Minnie looks as if she is going to burst into tears if she doesn’t receive a vest. Alas, there is a vest for Mama Bear. Monie says she is ready to get drunk, drunk and mo drunk. They walk into a bunch of bikers partying in the streets because that is what you do during bike week. Amanda and Bri, in booty shorts, immediately start twerking with the bikers. Minnie is Iusting over all the men and finds a biker who gives her an impromptu lap dance. Ms. Juicy and Monie are enjoying the show and Melissa looks like she wishes she was at Coachella instead. Meanwhile, folks are filming with their phones.
The ladies invite some biker men from Philly back to the house to get “riding lessons.” Melissa tells the bikers to be careful with her face and fine body and not to mess it up as she mounts the back of a bike. #GurlBye. Amanda feels Melissa is conceited. I smell trouble with these two later. Minnie is having a great time flirting with a biker “with sexy dreads” and she rides on the back of his bike. It takes two bikers to help Ms. Juicy mount on the back of a bike, but she does it and loves it. After the bike rides, Melissa demonstrates to the biker’s her famous catwalk, because she is just too sexy for herself. Then all the bikers perform their own cat walks which is quite comical. Amanda goes into the house and calls her sister. She shows Andrea her new vest and hairstyle, and then she starts crying. She misses her twin. #Tears
The next morning Minnie informs the ladies she scored the phone number of the biker with the dreads. His name is Mike. I hope she’s not lying. Ms. Juicy tells the ladies she is hosting a male stripper revue and they are all invited. Monie wants to make it rain on the male heauxs. They change into more skank wear while Melissa complains she needs a full length mirror to see herself. They have turned up on the beach, turned up in the streets, and now it is time to turn up at the strip club. What happens in Myrtle Beach stays in Myrtle Beach.
All arrive at Tequila Joes where Ms. Juicy is greeted like she is the Mayor of Myrtle Beach. #Pimp. She gets on the mic and introduces her friends. The crowd loves it and then the stripper show begins. All I can say is that there was “D” EVERYWHERE. There were more bare booties, humping and trick twerking performances galore. Most of the screen was one big blur to cover all those big peens. I had no idea men could move like that. As I wiped the sweat off my own brow, Monie is getting an upside down backwards lap dance where her face is being used as a booty buffer.
Then Amanda and Bri gets on the stage and put on their own twerking show. The audience shower them with dollar bills and they all have a good time. Back at the house Monie complains of “ball bruising” of the face. Minnie sheds tears of joy that the ladies are her friends again. How will she explain this to Big Tammie? The rest of the ladies were just excited to be in the Land of the Living Large Peens. They start talking about the most outlandish places where they got their freak on. I’ll spare you all, but apparently Minnie has the largest freak flag, unless she is lying. And then, good ole newbie, Melissa, decides to be the fun police by asking the ladies what would their boyfriends think of their behavior this weekend.
Ms. Juicy isn’t bothered because she is the Queen of Atlanta. Monie says basically she is a grown woman and Morlin better get with the program. Melissa presses the issue and asks Amanda why she is staying quiet. I guess she thought Amanda was the weakest link. She didn’t realized Amanda had been waiting to bite her in that ass all weekend. Amanda proceeds to unleash her evil twin and cuss Mellissa the f*ck out. She tells her to mind her nosey ass business and stay in the new girl lane. Melissa doesn’t appreciate having to pick up her non-model face off the floor and catwalks back into the bedroom, slamming the door. Her friend, Bri says nothing but stays with the other ladies.
The next morning Bri asks Mellissa if she had a good time (even though she got cussed out last night by tiny twin). Melissa says yes, but she is ready to go home. Monie says she is ready to see Morlin and tell him (almost) everything. Ms. Juicy is glad she rode a bike and rode a biker. #TMI.
Back home, the twins reunite. Amanda tells Andrea she didn’t have a good time. In-between twerking on the beach, in the streets and on the stage, she missed her twin and her boyfriend. She started to tell Andrea how she opened up the library and read Melissa for filth, when Andrea begins to go into labor. Amanda, Andrea and Chris get to the hospital just in time for the doctor to tell them that Andrea needs to stay because she is indeed in labor. Andrea is only 28 weeks into her pregnancy and doesn’t want to have the baby so soon. To be continued.
Next week, Big Tammie goes to court. Melissa explains to the group that there is much more dignity in modeling than twerking. Monie gets a proposal and Morlin (Monie’s boo) gets a face full of food and possibly his ring tossed back.
Do you all think some of the girls had too much fun at Black Biker’s Week? What do you all think of the new girl Melissa?
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