RECAP: Little Women LA — The Ladies Worry About Briana’s Whereabouts [Season 5, Episode 2]

We join Little Women: LA as Terra and Tonya shop at a children’s store. Terra makes Tonya climb on top of the stuffed dinosaur and Tonya is disappointed that it’s not like riding a mechanical bull. They discuss the upcoming Drag Con they have been asked to attend and be on the panel. According to Terra, little people and drag queens can relate because they are used to being stared at. The briefly discuss the spa dinner and Tonya doesn’t call Terra out for Joe’s bad behavior, instead she tells Terra not to hold her breath for an apology from Christy.

Next, we join Christy as she updates Todd on Joe’s drunken, belligerent behavior while they watch their new puppy poop and play. The conversation then moves onto Briana and Matt. Christy has been texting and calling Briana, but she isn’t responding. Thank goodness for TMZ who is reporting that Briana is being prepared for possible surgery, but family and friends are by her side. Christy calls bullshit on that because she, for one, is not by her side. Little woman/big ego. Todd says all they can do is pray and be there when Briana is ready.

Later, Terra and Elena meet up for a chat. After climbing into the tall chairs, Elena suggests to Terra that she is the common denominator when it comes to drama with the girls. Elena warns Terra she might get herself into trouble one of these days. Dun, dun, duuunh! But Terra doesn’t listen, no surprise there, and wants to know why Christy isn’t to blame. Terra drops tears (those acting lessons are paying off) and says she was provoked by Christy and could have been taken away from her family. Elena thinks it’s time to set this aside. Terra says she can’t control her anger around Christy until Christy admits she was wrong.

Speaking of Christy, she’s at home cooking for daughter Autumn who is pretending to be sick. We learn that this “boyfriend” actually lives in London. Christy’s mom inquires if Christy has had the sex talk with Autumn. The answer is, no so much. So far Autumn has only learned about the birds and bees from her health class. Christy wants to recommend masturbation, but her mom is shocked by this and practically sticks her fingers in her ears and says, “Lalalalala.” She wants Christy to recommend abstinence, but Christy wants to recommend a dildo.

Terra’s adorable little baby, Penelope, is 14 months old and not walking yet. Terra thinks she won’t walk until she’s two. Joe thinks they need to be more concerned with having a little boy who might pee in their face when they change the diaper. In the meantime, during an upcoming appointment they will learn what disabilities their baby may have. Joe wants an average size child so there won’t be any surgeries. He’s had five surgeries so far.

Over at Jasmine’s, she reaches out to Briana yet again, but Briana won’t answer or return calls and it’s been four days. While she and husband Chris discuss Briana, Preston calls to tell them he’s at the hospital with Elena who may have preeclampsia. This is scary because in order to treat this the babies must be delivered and the twins aren’t ready yet.

It’s time for: Fun with Fruit! Christy wants to teach Autumn about sex by completely grossing her out. She starts with an eggplant which represents her vagina. Then Christy opens up the “oozing” yogurt container which represents gonorrhea and/or chlamydia and spreads it on the eggplant. Thank you for ruining my love of eggplant parmesan. Next up, Christy pulls out a cucumber and asks Autumn if she knows what an orgasm is. Autumn says she does and understands she doesn’t have to have sex to achieve this – just grab a cucumber. And finally, the banana makes an appearance so Autumn can demonstrate how to put a condom on. And she does without any effort. Dang girl! Christy doesn’t know whether to be impressed or mortified. I’d go with mortified. The moral of this lesson is to not have sex with the first boy that shows comes along. Fruit salad anyone?

Terra stops by Elena’s house to see the babies “50 shades of beige” room. Elena has high-blood pressure and the preeclampsia diagnosis has been confirmed. Elena says she understands the hazards, and decides to back out of Drag Con, but then says she’s not terribly concerned and doesn’t want to change her life over this. Terra has to remind Elena this is serious and, by the way, you are having twins, boo. Your life is about to change two-fold.

Later, Christy stops by Jasmine’s house to gossip some more about Briana. Christy thinks Briana is in danger. Briana’s sister, Tiana, has been reaching out to Christy even though Christy promised Briana she wouldn’t speak to her family. Briana’s parents have Briana’s daughter Liana, but they don’t know which hospital Briana is in. Sheesh! Whose idea was it to give everyone rhyming names? Christy finds a way to make this ordeal about herself and explains when she was in an abusive relationship she kept quiet about it everything. Just then, Christy receives a text message from Matt, via Tiana, about contacting their lawyers if the family tries to reach out to Briana again. Matt is some piece of work.

It’s time for RuPaul’s Drag Con (said in Oprah Winfrey’s voice). The only ones who can attend are Terra, Christy, and Tonya. The first (and only) question from the audience asks Christy if the police report she filed is real and did she really have a concussion. Christy says, “I was hurt and that’s all I’m going to say.” Terra follows up with, “We have yet to see proof of that hurt. Just for the record.” Christy says she would be happy to post the report on line. Christy’s publicist – that she snatched after Briana fired her – recommends that Christy talk to Terra and bury the hatchet – just not in her back.

After the event, Christy tells Terra that life is too short, she’s excited about Terra’s pregnancy, what cute kids they were, and btw, can they squash everything. Terra apologizes for throwing the glass, but then starts yelling about the possibility of being taken away from her family. Christy doesn’t want to argue with Terra, but stresses again that she was in a lot of pain. Terra walks off saying the conversation is pointless. And she’s right. But so was that fight.

It’s time for Terra and Joe’s ultrasound to determine if the baby is double-dominant, which they don’t want. They want an average baby. Joe thinks the ultrasound looks like a “regular” baby, then he thinks achon. After looking at the results the doctor says compared to Penelope at this stage, this baby’s head is smaller and the femur is longer. So far the markers indicate an average or pseudo baby. But the good news is, no double dominance.

Over at Elena and Preston’s house, they reach out to Briana and Matt, and for once, they pick up the phone. Briana says she’s better now, but has a bowel obstruction that’s causing contractions. A tube has been placed in to drain her stomach. Elena asks if they can visit, and Briana says she would like that when she’s a little more presentable, but then Matt says no, he doesn’t want anyone there. Preston and Elena exchange a concerned glance. Briana isn’t allowed to reveal the hospital and says she “isn’t in a place to talk.”

That’s an understatement! Tell me your thoughts. Do you think Matt’s actions are abusive or protective?

 

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