We resume this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County back at the bitch beach party. The ladies have moved away from the sand and surf, and into Kelly’s very white and modern house. Vicki and Shannon each order vodka and give each other a wimpy, meaningless hug.
Vicki is ready to apologize and sweep everything under the rug, but Shannon wants to rehash it all. Specifically the part about Vicki being involved in the cancer scheme with Brooks. Shannon is offended that Vicki thinks she’s making this all about herself and Vicki is offended that Shannon is speaking to her like she’s a child. And I am offended that I have lost five minutes of my life over this tired subject.
Out on the patio with the other ladies, Kelly feels bad that Vicki and Shannon are fighting, but wisely decide not to get involved. Shannon eventually says she forgives Vicki, but doesn’t know if they can ever have their friendship back. Because let’s face it, Shannon can only forgive so many people per season, per her contract, so she must choose judiciously.
Kelly takes the ladies to see her bedroom closet that comes with a built-in bar. Heather makes a mental note to contact her builder with a last-minute change so not to be out done. And it’s time for “Superwoman” Meghan to give herself a shot. They cheer her on but Vicki comes into the closet crying, stealing the moment, and declaring she wants to be friends again with everyone. Meghan reminds Vicki that they were never friends to begin with. Ouch! Those hormones are kicking in. Vicki can’t take anymore, so Kelly walks her out of the lion’s closet.
Brace yourself, but Jimmy is in town, spending time with Meghan. By now, Meghan’s a pro at giving herself the shots and tells Jimmy her ovaries are talking. Is this a side-effect? Not sure, but all is well because Jimmy’s frozen sperm is “coming out of retirement.” The couple drive the cryotank, which is the size of a tall kitchen trashcan, to the fertility clinic. Jimmy thinks it’s fun to scare Meghan about spilling the sperm – which should be the title of Meghan’s tell all book about fertility.
Over at Heather’s place, she is complaining to her assistant that Terry will yet again be out of town for a special occasion. He’s missed Valentine’s Day, Heather’s birthday, and now mother’s day. Can you blame him? Their builder, Robert, stops by with a huge problem – the granite is too short for the long, downstairs bar. Oh the horror. Just send a private jet to whatever rare quarry you got it from and get more granite. How hard was that to solve?
Back with Meghan and Jimmy, they are going over the baby making specifications. After Meghan tells him the detailed schedule, Jimmy says, “You expect me to follow all that you just said?” Mind you, if she were talking baseball stats, he’d have them all memorized by now. Meghan tears up because Jimmy is leaving town the following day. Jimmy forces himself to hug Meghan.
The next scene is very scary. Briana is gasping for air. Vicki drives her to the emergency room, but is worried Briana won’t make it, so she pulls over to a gas station and calls 911 for the ambulance to meet them there. Up walks Ryan’s ex-fiancé, Sarah. Random! Vicki sobs as the ambulance pulls away with Briana inside.
Sarah follows Vicki home to watch the napping boys so Vicki can go to the hospital. Tamra comes to the house to declare that it was Jesus who took Sarah’s wheel and led her to the gas station. Then Tamra asks if Sarah is still willing to try with Ryan. Sarah says yes, but claims she’s the only one. Ryan has agreed to counseling, but wants someone else to handle all the details, kind of like his mommy would. Sarah says it sucks because she wanted better for baby number four.
Back at Kelly’s house, brother Eric and G–Ma are helping Jolie study the capitals, though G-Ma keeps giving Jolie the wrong answers. With a bottle of cuvee in hand, Kelly heads to Meghan’s house to talk about Vicki behind her back. Once again, Meghan tells Kelly to stand down with the Vicki situation. Kelly is annoyed with Meghan telling her what to do. According to Kelly, Meghan is a millennial and thinks the whole world revolves around her, and therefore can’t understand how two women who have only known each other for two weeks can form a deep friendship that will stand the test of time. (Or this season, whichever comes first.)
The following morning, Vicki is a single Grandma, getting the boys dressed and has her hands full, but has time to take a call from Tamra. Vicki updates her on Briana’s health. It’s not good. Briana has a 104 fever and they can’t find the source of the infection. And if that weren’t bad enough, Vicki’s garage floor is wet and she can’t find the source of the leak. It’s a tough day for everyone!
Next up, Shannon is meeting with an event planner to plan a 70’s party that spans the entire decade, not just the disco era. As you know, Shannon has a terrible track record with throwing parties, but she claims things will be different with this party. Shannon says, bring on the beer bongs and marijuana station. Finally! Shannon might actually throw an interesting party.
A little later, Shannon and Tamra meet up to, what else, talk about Vicki. Tamra updates Shannon on Briana gasping for air and being rushed to the hospital. Tamra suspects that being apart from her husband, who is also named Ryan, is not helping Briana. Shannon asks why Briana is here if her husband is back in Oklahoma. They speculate the new house purchased by Vicki comes with many strings attached.
Vicki returns from the hospital with Briana and asks if she can get her anything before she leaves for the office. What happened to the days when Vicki would work from home? Briana explains that her lymph nodes were so enlarged in her chest they were compressing her lungs, making it difficult to breathe. They are still running tests to try and get to the root of the issue. It occurs to Vicki, just for an instant, that maybe she shouldn’t have moved Briana from Oklahoma.
Back at lunch with Tamra and Shannon, Shannon reads a mean-girl email she plans to send to Vicki which basically says, even though they will never be friends again, please come to a 70’s party, it’ll be a blast. Tamra, who knows a thing or two about mean-girls, advises Shannon to soften the tone.
Tune in next week when Kelly tells David at the 70’s party she understands why he cheated on Shannon. Oh no she di’ent. Oh yes she does!