Kody: Behind the Scenes, an add-on episode to Sister Wives, begins with Robyn introducing the segment as 60 minutes of patriarchal hijinks—also promising to reveal many dirty secrets. I know their definition of “dirty” does not match mine, so my hopes are not high. It is sure to be one giant flashback about the king of the cult-de-sac, and those who follow him like brainwashed waddling duckies. We begin by Kody accurately noting that when he decided to go public with their plural goriness, he was “drunk on his own arrogance.” He actually thought that people would understand multiplied love and bedmates aplenty, and was shocked at being slammed with so much intolerant disgust. I broke it down into five areas of revulsion.
The courtship of Dayton’s mother, aka Robyn, kicks off the show. We watch Kody prance off to woo another, while the other wives weep, sulk, and kick the woodwork in his absence. The past love between Kody and Meri is obvious—which makes their current icy relationship, even more glaring. We witness Kody all aglow, while he packs to visit #4, as the women share the torture of sharing their stud, with another hussy. Kody details the intense negotiations to bag Robyn, as we watch Christine weigh in with a “HELL NAY.” Mare offers insight, describing constant seething jealousy as having a typical “down day.” Robyn explains that Kody is allowed no hobbies other than his spawn collection, as we flash back to Meri, tearfully lamenting Robyn butting her witchy nose into the family. Mare sobs that if it wasn’t for her commitment and her daughter, she would be outta there—a relevant moment of foreshadowing. A current-day Meri reminds us all that they can leave whenever—quite a passionate faith testimony. We revisit Kody and Christine’s catastrophic rock tower therapy session, and cringe through Kody ignoring any romantic relationship. Janelle takes issue with Christine’s hurt feelings, citing who in their right mind would want a romance with Kody anyway? Robyn encourages a do-over in their driveway, and Kody reminds us that his reality kinda bites. The Browns stamp their foreheads together to demonstrate a living rock tower, in another meaningless exercise. Janelle is thrilled at how they have all evolved—and is happy that she tuned in for the good news.
Kody is accessible to his children, mainly because his main job is to prance between the mcmansions, and flip his hair for TLC cameras. We relive the photo session from commitment ceremony hell, as the ladies giggle uncontrollably at their clenched and anxious failure of spouse-perfection. The phony anthropology study is highlighted, where the memorably nauseating Antoinette and Richard surmise that Kody stinks as a father to daughters. Ari-May has years of lame fathering ahead of her.
Kody’s hair, affectionately nicknamed the 5th wife, scores a whole segment. We learn that Kody’s deepest secret was the undercover use of hair extensions, utilized during a time of stress, after fleeing Utah. Kody notes those past scenes as silly, because of the ricocheting between cool and crappy hair days. I can’t tell the difference. Kody’s hair is always crappy.
TLC revisits the beginning of the end for Mare’s connection to Kody, the events that sent the once #1, into the fishy deep. Meri and Kody divorced, then Meri was shoved out of the later ceremony linking Kody with Robyn, in a disastrous strategic move. Christine was also annoyed to be left out, but bowed to Kody’s wisdom in the end. Janelle didn’t even know that anyone was really married to Kody, until the episode aired. The adoption of DaytonAuroraBreanna is rewound, and Kody labels the experience as a “beautiful validation.” Meri quietly begged to differ, revealing her true hidden feelings when she later cosigned the adoption as an “underhanded trick.”
Robyn said it best when she sang the praises of her hunk-o-hair honey.
“We have our days when we still question him a little bit. He’s not perfect, we’ve all said that. But I mean, he has earned majority, like, you know, it’s like, for the most part, Kody has earned that position as the leader of this family.”
Quite a weakly confident, and barely ringing endorsement. Kody is declared an awesome visionary for harem building, and the show wraps with a Brown dance party. Kody believes if his mistresses can just reign in their raging jealously, the Browns would have it made—at least until TLC cuts off their checks.
It’s back to Hawaii next week! Aloha X 26….give or take.