RECAP: Real Housewives of New York — Bethenny Explodes On Sonja Over Booze Battle [Season 8, Episode 7] #RHONY

The Real Housewives of New York begins with Luann shlepping her bags upstairs to flop at Chateau Morgan. Sonja shows her some nice digs, perfect for hosting one night stands. Sonja’s daughter is gone, so Luann believes it will be good for them to whore it up under the same roof. Luann is on a hunt for Mr. Right, and Sonja thinks her chances are good, because she is so “out there.” They banter about the scandalous brand name, “Tipsy Girl,” and Sonja explains her relationship with her business partner, Peter. Luann is worried that Bethenny will flip her lid, but Sonja thinks that Bethenny should blast Peter, and be happy for her.  Sonja points out that she is just a tiny minnow in Bethenny’s low-cal sea, and hopes that she can score some advice from her miffed mentor.

We jump to Miss Skinny herself, who is super aggravated with that Tipsy traitor. Bethenny joins Carole, along with Ramona, who is busy fantasizing about being petite. Ramona and Bethenny rip Sonja to shreds, labeling her “cockamamie” business ideas bulls**t, jabbering over each other about Sonja’s copycatting, shady ways. Bethenny is bugged to share Page Six space with anyone, especially one she invited behind the holy gates of her brand. Carole is confused, and is probably working to muster up enough energy to give a crap. They all dub Sonja narcissistic, which is hilarious coming from the chattering Queen of Me. Bethenny is livid at Sonja, and is seeing red—-Skinnygirl’s signature color. 

Dorinda and Ramona are meeting for breakfast, as Ramona notes that John is the cause of the strain in their friendship—not her Godzilla mouth. Dorinda chose the nostalgic restaurant, hoping to spark nice memories of their friendship. They discuss TipsyGate, and Ramona continues to trash her supposed friend. Ramona disses Sonja’s decision to link with a brand that means drunk, and her choice to not grow out of their once joyfully mutual drunken stupor. Dorinda reminds Ramona that she needs to fake nice with John, because she has been with him for three years, and the duo is past the banging phase. Ramona points to her big mouth for the friendship bumps, then shifts to blaming John, citing his general ickiness. 

Over at Skinnygirl headquarters, Bethenny makes her entrance. Bethenny dishes about her hot date the night before, while we all stare at a closeup of a weird zipper running horizontally across her back. Bethenny jabbers like a maniac about having to face Sonja, as Sonja cluelessly comments about her admiration for the bony, boozy kingpin. Bethenny is scared for Sonja, because she knows that her motormouth can draw blood. Sonja arrives, and Bethenny takes a deep breath and strikes, immediately dissing Peter, as a no-good, shady, big-talker—based on information from a likely jealous, Ramona. Bethenny begins hammering Sonja with questions, while blasting her past failures. Bethenny pauses to take a breath, while Sonja explains that she tested her product at a birthday party, and received positive feedback. She mentions the name —GASP—and Bethenny condescendingly agrees that the name is snappy, labeling her chosen moniker a coattail riding, “cheater brand.”

Sonja explains that Bethenny inspires her, and that she never meant her Tipsy tiptoe to mess with her Skinny stomp. Bethenny responds by telling her that her business will not be affected, but Sonja had better absorb that she is personally hurt and insulted. Sonja listens, while Bethenny drills her into the ground, in front of her staff. Sonja points out that she is recovering financially, and doesn’t deserve the verbal thrashing. Sonja shares that she admires Bethenny, and just wants to learn from the best. Bethenny succeeds in pounding Sonja into a teary pulp, and believes that she deserved it. Sonja is embarrassed, and discouraged, while Bethenny pats herself on the zipper.

We jump to Jules and Michael’s, where Jules is giving us all a cheap thrill by gagging down a few bites of food. We learn that their nanny bailed, and that Jules is overworked by her two kiddos. The couple discusses their nanny requirements, before an applicant arrives for an interview. Jules and Michael talk to the promising hopeful about her Spanish prowess, and ability to skillfully stand in line. She passes the kiddie wardrobe test and even does blowouts—definite musts for any loving caretaker.

We stop in for a visit with Carole, who appears to have her hormones all in an tizzy, deciding to foster a kitten to hang out with her lookalike Baby. Her children frolic on the floor, as Adam and his man-bun stand before us, in herb-throwing glory. Carole thinks that it’s noble to foster kittens, and wants her apartment to be a flop house for humans and animals alike. Carole and Adam are trying to sell a cookbook concept entitled, ‘The Reluctant Vegan,’ so they can combine their grimy romance with an obnoxious nutritional sermon. Writer Girl spills that she parted ways with her editor, because grubby love is a lot more fun than those ghost-aided, highfalutin essays. Adam prepares a lovey psychedelic vegan dish for Carole—and his Instagram groupies. The couple keeps repeating the word “hangry” clearly an immature buzz word for the book. Thankfully the scene ends, and we jump to a few of the gals, gathering for a night out. Sonja and Ramona giggle and gossip about Luann’s slutty skills, and Sonja is proud of her bestie’s energetic vagina. Ramona continues to throw nasty jabs in her talking heads. 

John and Dorinda are hosting an event honoring a designer, and some of the girls are invited to join them for the big night. Luann and Sonja talk about the thrashing from Bethenny, and the pair comes to the conclusion that Bethenny needs to be coached by Luann. The girls assemble at John’s event, and Dorinda notes that she didn’t invite Ramona’s runaway mouth to the party. An old fling of Luann’s is in the house, giving us a rare glimpse at one of her more embarrassing conquests. Bravo blurs the landscape, as Rey, the  flamboyant and plastered, slurs and blubbers out his unrequited love to Luann. Luann is appropriately nervous and mortified, and makes a swift exit.

Rey continues his drunken slurs inches from Ramona and Sonja’s faces, making a complete fool of himself. Ramona is thirsty for some dirt on Luann, and encourages Rey’s fire-breathing gossip. John smells trouble and wants Rey gone, and tries to escort him out quietly. The uninvited Ramona butts in and creates a scene, defending the tanked spectacle. John nails Ramona as a buttinski instigator, and asks them both to leave. Ramona refuses, mouthing off until John puts his hand in her face, to force her out. The episode ends with Ramona and Dorinda having a screaming match on the sidewalk. Dorinda flounces off, disappointed in John and Ramona, in a Groundhog Day-like finish. 

Ramona’s yapper makes the news next week, and the ladies head to the Berkshires. Don’t miss it!

 

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