RECAP: Real Housewives of Dallas — LeeAnne & Tiffany’s Showdown on The Street [Season 1, Episode 5]

We return to The Real Housewives of Dallas smack dab in the middle of LeeAnne’s champagne tossing meltdown. The mean girls have ganged up on her. Bestie Tiffany had said she wanted to help LeeAnne and Brandi patch up their friendship, but really it was just an attempt to stir the pot and score some airtime.

LeeAnne bails and Tiffany runs after her. The two get into it on the busy Dallas streets, like the classy women they are (not). LeeAnne accuses Tiffany of not having her back. Tiffany yells that she has LeeAnne’s back, and to demonstrate, pushes her backwards. LeeAnne nearly trips as she tries to attack the camera man, but settles on hitting a passing trolley.

Back inside Stephanie is crying because her charity work has just been flushed down the toilet. Best friend Brandi and Cary are trying to make Stephanie laugh because this whole thing is totally ridiculous. Tiffany comes back inside to tell Marie what went down. Marie is shocked, but as the hostess, this is on her for not handling her sad happy hour better.

The next day, Stephanie is at home with her family, feeling sorry for herself. Her husband Travis is planning a surprise for their 7th anniversary. Stephanie says she cried all night long over last night’s drunken debauchery. Travis is not concerned about LeeAnne and advises his wife do the same.

Over at Rich’s house, he recommends that LeeAnne call Tiffany because he’s tired of hearing about it, but she’s not ready to admit defeat. Over at Tiffany’s place, Aaron asks if this is the worst fight the two women have ever had. Tiffany says, hell no. Poor LeeAnne. This is tapping into her childhood carny dysfunction that was not as fun as one might think.

Flash forward to Brandi bribing her kids to stay inside. Brandi loves bribes and would do anything for a good one. The grandfather she’s never met is arriving today – bring on the Jesus juice. Her husband Bryan won’t be there, no shock there, even though this is kind of a big deal. Maybe Bryan will make it for the kids’ graduation.

LeeAnne is at the charity clothing drive, but doesn’t want to be. Her plan is to be a true southern lady, which means be sweeter than apple pie with a scoop of ice cream to the women she doesn’t know and ignore the women she does know, like Tiffany and Cary when they arrive. LeeAnne leaves rather than risk nearly falling down in the middle of the street again.

Hey y’all! Did you know Travis is the king of surprises? Like the cool Rolls Royce he purchased after they took their wedding photos with because cars are better than family. Stephanie’s so lucky to have a fancy car to get a staged anniversary surprise in. They arrive at de Boulle jewelry store where all the important people of Dallas pick out their jewelry. Stephanie can choose from four pre-selected bracelets ranging from $55K – $75K. Guess which one Stephanie picks? The most expensive one! Stephanie is no longer thinking about LeeAnne and the demise her charity work. Stephanie also tries on a 20 karat, $2.5million ring that looks like an ice-cube, begging the question, wouldn’t a divorce be cheaper?

Over at Mark and Cary’s house, she tells him that Tiffany and LeeAnne weren’t speaking to each other at the clothing drive. The horror! The horror! Someday these two plan on buying a chalet in Switzerland so their two-year old daughter can learn yet another language and Mark can ship Cary away for the entire summer. Then Cary puts the dog on her head to demonstrate what a fur hat would look like.

Over at Brandi’s house, her G-Pa John and step G-ma have arrived. They seem like good people whom Brandi would have benefited from growing up with. Oh, well. Brandi’s mom offers everyone some Jesus juice because Jesus juice makes everything better, even 36 years of absence. Brandi tells John about her one memory of him, then they pray over the miracle of Brandi’s G-Pa entering their lives just in time for the filming of this reality show.

Back at Cary’s, Mark surprises his wife with yet another designer dress since her dress was supposedly ruined from the champagne LeeAnne threw. Stephanie models the beaded zebra dress and declares she loves it. Of course, Mark loved shopping for it more. Not to worry, Cary’s going to stick it to him later…with a Botox needle so he doesn’t look mad when he is mad.

Back at Brandi’s she tells her G-Pa about the misconception growing up that he had walked out on the family when in fact he was cast out by Brandi’s grandmother. But it’s all behind them now. Brandi tells her G-Pa John that her husband doesn’t hunt and he’s a city boy who’s never home because he works so hard. This is called foreshadowing.

Flash forward a day or two, Brandi stops by to jump on the tramp – oline and drink some Jesus juice with Stephanie. Brandi is jealous of Stephanie’s blinged out bracelet because all she ever gets from her husband Bryan is time alone, French fries, and ketchup. Brandi shares the reunited-and-it-feels-so-good story about her G-Pa.

Earlier in the week, Tiffany placed a call to LeeAnne and left a message about working it out. The two are now meeting to try to repair their friendship. LeeAnne comes up behind Tiffany, kisses her on the cheek and tells her she loves her. Tiffany forgives her, but questions why LeeAnne said she didn’t have her back. She has her back more than the other women – which is true. When Tiffany apologizes, LeeAnne says she deserved to be yelled at in the middle of downtown Dallas. LeeAnne cries, but tears don’t actually fall. The good news is, the girls have made up because they are Christian, Christian, Christian, Christian, Carny!

Brandi is having a BBQ. Brandi’s brother and the whole family are there to spend the afternoon with G-Pa. And get this, Bryan is flying home in time for the party. Yay! He’s going to be part of something. Brandi is so happy. Stephanie shows up with her kids, sans their bathing suits, but who needs those when you have underwear. Stephanie calls to check that Travis will be joining them and learns he’s just finished playing golf and having drinks with Bryan. Uh-oh. When Stephanie informs Brandi of this it’s like she’s on Xanax or something because the girl has no reaction. Bryan lied, but oh well, pass the Jesus juice.

Finally the men folk arrive, late and drunk. There’s definitely a chill in the air. Brandi asks Bryan how his “flight” was and he says, “Good,” and walks off. In a talking head interview, Brandi says Bryan is “the biggest douche bag that I know right now” and says he’ll be sleeping on the couch. Just a thought, but do you think Bryan is still pissed about Brandi’s dirty dancing with the male strippers?

Tune in next week when LeeAnne wants to throw up and Bryan wants to walk out.

 

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