The seventh season of Sister Wives premieres tonight — in an episode entitled “Catfishing Fallout.”
We know that TLC is in cahoots with the
shady Brown bunch, so expect the network to highlight Meri’s victim cry, loud and proud. Fishy business aside, Season 7 should reveal more about Maddie’s wedding plans, and we will be present for the birth of another Kody-appendage named Eri-May.
Viewers will undoubtedly witness more faux polygamy, in an increasingly monogamous world. Consider these ten key dynamics — as we face a new season.
How will TLC handle the catfish fallout? Will Meri be allowed to cry victim and wiggle away, only to resume faking contentment in renewed loneliness? Will Meri, in the words of Lisa Rinna, “OWN IT BABY?” Will TLC demand to know if Meri was actually trolling for love on the internet? A girl can dream!
How will the Browns and TLC explain not disclosing the identity of the scoundrel that did Mare dirty? Expect some clunky network side-stepping.
Keep an eye on Aurora Jessop-then, Brown-now. The teen was mighty cozy with Kody last season, always the recipient of the first fatherly bear hug. Viewers should take note of how Kody relates to his new best girl. Social media reveals that many viewers caught an unsettling vibe, between the new father/daughter duo.
How will the Browns camouflage the increasingly monogamous tone, on the cult-de-sac? Fans detest Robyn — will we see a more humble, wallflower-ish wife, maybe in hopes of winning a little fan support? Is Robyn hiding more than she knows about Mare’s swim with an online catfish? Fans will be watching her closely.
Will Robyn or Kody mention the shady adoption that went down last season — or even mention DaytonAuroraBreanna’s father? Did the creepy manufactured sketch with a retro-Kody and his adopted tots serve it’s purpose, and brainwash Jessop out of the picture?
Sister Love or Sister Shade
How do you think the women will relate to the now soiled by passion matriarch, in a post-affair reality? Will Meri and Janelle continue their sisterly healing, after a long, bruised relationship? Will Christine continue to dish the inside truth about Meri? Christine nailed the catfish bait as needy and unwilling to move, when Mare almost bolted from he family.
What random shadows will be lurking in the doorway when Robyn grunts out Kody’s umpteenth baby? Who will be invited, when Eri-May makes her debut, and is thrown on top of the Brown heap o’ offspring? Who will be the first to visit, after the home birth?
The Browns LIVE in therapy — sometimes a therapist even scores vacations. Expect more of the same, as the couples continue to wrangle out strategies to avoid killing each other. What brilliant insight will the TLC pocketed pros dish out this time — and will the Browns shock us all, and actually fake applying the advice?
The Sam Effect
How will Mare’s ex-virtual lover respond to an unfolding season? “Sam” spilled preview nuggets all last season — will that change since Sam and Mare are no more — or is there someone else on the inside, spilling the plural tea to “Sam Cooper?”
A Stitch In Time
The biggest nail-biter of all asks — does the white stitching LIVE? We all relentlessly massacred Meri and Robyn’s white stitched butts, last season. Did we pummel them into submission, or will the white stitch get the last laugh, and rise, (or sag) victorious? I can’t wait to find out!
Sister Wives returns TONIGHT (May 8 ) with an all-new season at 8:00 pm ET on TLC.