RECAP: Real Housewives of New York — Jules Airs Her Grievances About Bethenny’s Bitchiness [Season 8, Episode 5] #RHONY

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We join The Real Housewives of New York, in Bethenny’s apartment, where Bethenny and her assistant are chatting about packing for her daughter. Bethenny thinks that Brynn is the greatest thing ever—especially because she is a mini-Skinnygirl. Brynn is girlie, but not pageant, and has specific wardrobe demands.

We jump to Dorinda, who is meeting Carole for dinner. They make small talk about Adam, and his capability to  pull off “sexy,” which I doubt, before they launch into catty gossip about Jules and Michael. Carole disses the couple’s Hamptons home and Jules’ skinny frame, as Dorinda tries to defend her friend. Dorinda knows that Jules tried hard to pull off a nice brunch, but Carole and Bethenny’s exclusive bitchery, managed to wreck the nice event. Carole makes a comment about John, and Dorinda mercifully refuses to make another episode, All About John. Dorinda decides that keeping John away, is the best and quietest solution.

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Jules arrives, and Carole fesses up to ruining her brunch. Jules is struggling to peg Bethenny, working to nail the Skinnygirl as either intentionally rude, condescending, abrupt, or dismissive. How about all of the above? Jules was bothered by Bethenny’s frenetic criticism of her home, and challenges the lazy “it’s just her personality” excuse. Jules wonders who would want to hang out with with a naturally rude bitch, who clearly doesn’t want to be her friend. Carole asserts that Bethenny was being “overly honest”—clearly writer-girl speak. Jules gets a good jab in about the size of Bethenny’s Skinny-house, and labels her “new money.” Impressive read, I must say. Dorinda generously labels Bethenny an “acquired taste.” Jules jabbers out perfectly astute insight—which lazy Carole labels as nuts.

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We check in with Sonja, who is running her schedule with her intern, while scraping dog poop off her wood floors. Ramona arrives, and it’s nice to see the crazy duo together. Ramona shares her divorce papers, and they chat about how to pronounce solemnize. The pair jabbers over each other, and for a moment, it’s like old times. Ramona blabs out that Sonja wasn’t invited to Bethenny’s party, because she is a raging lush. Ramona explains that she stays far away from the often drunk Sonja, because she kills her hot single chick image. Ramona is concerned, and blasts Sonja for a few falling down medicated/drunk episodes. Ramona accuses her of being in denial, and Sonja snarks that her words are ironic, because her friends think that Ramona is the raging embarrassment. Sonja finally admits a few “off the rails” episodes, due to personal stress. Ramona brags that she has grown  through her struggles, I believe more boring, and notes that Sonja is just stuck in her silly teens. Sonja shares that Luann has been crashing at her place, and joining her in her cringeworthy drunken escapades. Luann is expected with her luggage, and the duo is concerned that Good Time Lu may overwhelm Sonja’s home. 


We join Carole, who is trying to look young on a webcam for her herb throwing boyfriend. She is jealous of Adam’s globe trotting ways, but enjoys having him gone. We are treated to a mega closeup of Adam—and he looks quite the opposite of sexy.

Bethenny and Jules are meeting up, because Bethenny feels badly about being a condescending shrew at her brunch. Bethenny is annoyed at Jules’ constant Jew-Asian references, and Jules is annoyed by Bethenny, in general. Jules kindly labels Bethenny abrupt, and Bethenny criticizes her inconsiderate guest list. Jules timidly shares her hurt feelings, and Bethenny gets impatient, and nails herself for being abrasive, judgmental, and aggressive, to get the convo moving. Bethenny apologizes, and Jules feels better. They chat about their pasts, and Jules cops to a struggle with an eating disorder. Jules admits that she once weighed only 80 pounds, and Bethenny tears up, touched that she shared her story. Bethenny notes that she grew up with a mother with a disorder, and is impressed with Jules’ vulnerable openness. No mention of any personal struggle.


Next is another meal—this time in Ramona’s home, with Carole and Bethenny. Jules and Dorinda are meeting for pedicures, and we hop back and forth between the groups. Jules dishes about the lunch with Bethenny, and Bethenny dishes about the meeting with Jules, minus the eating disorder confession. Bethenny shuts down Carole’s snarking, while Ramona speaks about her upcoming birthday party. Everyone is worried about the Luann-effect, and Bethenny spills that Luann badgered her the summer before, hoping to score a Beverly Hills party invite. Dorinda and Jules rehash Ramona’s dig at John, and Dorinda feels sad about the damaged friendship.

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It’s the day of Ramona’s birthday extravaganza. Bethenny arrives to the lunch, and her new hairdo is immediately swarmed by it’s botoxed fan club. Ramona arrives, excited to celebrate with 50 of her closest girlfriends—evidently the number needed to drag her through her dramatic divorce. They gossip over why Sonja was uninvited to Bethenny’s, deflecting from the behind the scenes Bravo turmoil. Jules arrives, meets Sonja, and is amused. Good-Time Luann shows up, and gifts Bethenny with a snazzy bag, and tosses Ramona a cheap regift. Luann gushes up to Bethenny, and Bethenny notes the party-invite badgering incident, which is still stuck in her Skinny-craw. Bethenny wants Luann to “own it,” which immediately triggers Lisa Rinna flashbacks. Luann blames loneliness, and apologizes for the desperate-sounding miscue.


Dorinda arrives at the birthday lunch, as Bethenny and Carole snark about Luann, seated further down the table. Dorinda only wants to move forward from the drama, and complains to Sonya and Luann that the others have been dissing John. She believes that the chunky honey she has chosen deserves respect, then snipes that perhaps the lonely, unloved hags are jealous. Probably not—but nice shot Dor-in-da! Ramona scampers off, and immediately blabs the nervy info to the others, as Dorinda kindly toasts the birthday girl. The toast is lovely, and contains a subtle message, which Dorinda hopes resonates with Ramona.

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Next week, Ramona steps in it, and Dorinda snaps back.


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