RECAP: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion — It’s The Lisa Vanderpump Gang Up Part 2…Must Knows Discussed #RHOBH

The drama rolled on last night, and brought us one week closer to closing the door on Season 6 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Three segments of the discussion stood out, after Yolanda finished her sniffle-fest backstage, aided by a haggard, gum-chomping Daisy, nodding in bored sympathy. I’ll bet you can guess the first one.

The Rumor

It gets Munchie and Munchier, as the cast rehashes who said what, where, when, why, and how, while gossiping about Yolanda’s jer-ney, putting the attention scrounger in Lyme-heaven. Rinna admits that she alone was the one who blurted the word, but claims that her inner-tube lips would have remained clamped, if Lisa hadn’t unleashed her irresistible, persuasive charm. Yolanda launches into one of her signature sermons, tossing backhanded compliments at Lisa, while accusing her of “running over dead bodies,” to pull off a good show.

Yolanda pounds her fist and says that integrity and compassion for others MUST reign, in the realm of trashy reality TV. The cast almost raises their hands in hallelujah unison, before Eileen and Rinna double team Lisa, like two playground bullies. Rinna jumps around some more, yelling “OWN IT,” while Lisa calmly defends herself. No one bothers to remind Rinna to be compassionate to her fat hoarder social media followers. By now, Lisa has permanently lowered her eyelids, in bored disdain, and I love her for it. Mohamed is mentioned, and Yolanda backs up what her ex told Lisa, when she asked about the two infected NotGigis.

Lisa admits that Mohamed was bothered by her comments—more likely by being dragged into the nonsense, at all. Erika is challenged over why she sat like a wax figure, rather than taking responsibility for being a gossipy rat, with bad extensions. Erika blames empty-headed exhaustion, clearly spending too much time with Yolanda’s ponytail nub. Yolanda assures us that she doesn’t care WHO repeats gossip, especially if she is the one who needs to hear it. Yolanda blubbers over her pitiful life, while the others gush apologies. Eileen childishly tries to shame  Kathryn to the dark side, with snarky mumbles.  Rinna adds that she has no idea what happened between her and Yolanda, while she practically kisses Yolanda’s bony feet.

The Addict

Kim Richards is up next, for no real reason. Bravo rehashes her boozy, drug-littered path, and Kim assures us that she is once again, sober as a judge. They run down Kim’s greatest junkie hits, and Kyle’s frustration over being saddled with the wreck, her whole life.  Rinna’s jabs towards Kim are rewound, but her aggressive attitude, which occurred when the pair actually crossed paths, was ignored.

The cast chats about the crapstorm that went down at Eileen’s poker party last season, while Yolanda preaches against human suffering, in her angelic, pantyhose inspired dress. Rinna, along with the rest of the gang, assure Kim that the addict-empathy is real, and wish her well. It appears obvious that Kim and Kyle’s relationship will never be healthy, and the duo states that they like it this way, thank you very much.

The Apology

I would like to say I’m sorry, in advance, for this next section. I am sorry that I have to write it. I am sorry that you may read it. I am sorry for the way it might make you feel. Eileen pukes up the bone that she has been dragging around, and the group dives into the stupidest topic to overrun a season—the apology demand that is never allowed to die. They replay the droning topic, and Eileen feels vindicated, because we are all discussing it again. Eileen calls Lisa’s bajillion apologies condescending manipulation, aka kinda lame. I wish that Lisa would point out that Eileen ran over her dead body, the whole damn season. Yolanda, not surprisingly, holds the lecture. Eileen bleats out a few times that she doesn’t trust Lisa—-and Lisa’s lowered eyelids couldn’t care less. Eileen notes that she and Lisa live on separate planets, one of which doesn’t depend on forced remorse, to sustain life. Lisa musters a few last apologies, while she thinks about going home to the fun planet, where cheaters aren’t allowed. 

Part Two wraps where Part Three will begin—with Lisa addressing an abusive relationship she noted in her blog.

Eileen shared her experience during the season, and found Lisa’s common mention “offensive,” because she chose to not talk about it on camera. If anyone says “I’m sorry” again—I may storm away from my laptop, to sniffle in my bathroom. The reunion finale can’t come soon enough for me! 

 

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