RECAP: Real Housewives of New York — John Confronts Bethenny & Ramona Apologizes [Season 8, Episode 3]

We jump back into The Real Housewives of New York, where we last left the charming ladies, at Dorinda’s cup-size-of-truth party. Dorinda is outside, trying to pull herself together, after Bethenny and Ramona pummeled her with accusations about her Viagra-popping boyfriend, John. Jules throws in her two cents, shocked that the elderly broads still have the spunk to throw down at a bra party. The kind bra-whisperer fits Bethenny, and Bethenny almost bites her head off, but agrees to buy her wares. 

Bethenny throws a half-apology at Dorinda, while advising her to check her sleazy boyfriend, because she knows everything about user men. Meanwhile, Jules makes the astute observation that Carole would make one hot, bony lesbian. Bethenny coaches Ramona into a hit and run apology to Dorinda, while keeping a critical eyebrow raised, as Ramona scampers through the words. Bethenny scoops up some shrimp laced, grimy ice, proving that she really doesn’t know everything. Ramona leaves, and Dorinda shares that all plans to stay at that traitor’s Hamptons house are cancelled. Bethenny tries to boss her into feeling differently, but Dorinda stands firm, and is horrified by what went down. She calls John, who is heard sniping about the women on speaker phone, clearly having been informed on the evening’s festivities. John decides to make a tipsy appearance, and all hell breaks loose, when he lays into Bethenny. The pair spars over Skinnycows that aren’t on Bravo’s payroll, and Bethenny insinuates that John snorts cocaine. Dorinda has yet another reason to be horrified and embarrassed, and the scene is a tough one. Bethenny labels the spectacle as typical of the couple’s dysfunction, and Dorinda notes that both the skinny cow and the drunkie cow, are breaking her heart that night.

Dorinda is destroyed, but Bethenny feels smugly satisfied, vindicated, and gifted with her heart’s desire. John has proven her right, in slurring living color. Bethenny counsels Dorinda, as John blurts comments from the other side of the door. Jules talks John off the ledge, while Dorinda hashes out the mess with Bethenny. Dorinda wants to be alone to cry, and I feel badly for her. Bethenny speaks slowly to Jules, explaining that Dorinda just thinks that she’s happy—but it’s really just the Viagra talking.

The next day, Bethenny’s logo phones Carole, as the writer walks her lookalike baby. Bethenny’s logo shares a few deets about the scandalous smackdown, and Carole is annoyed that she missed the fireworks. Carole reminds us of her beef with Luann, forgetting to mention the nasty social media shots that she herself, fired at the Countess.

We jump to the dynamic duo, Luann and Sonja, who are looking for a pied-à-terre for Luann. They check out a place with a fab view, as Luann fills us in on her earliest escapades with random men. They check out a fancier place downtown, pretending that Luann can afford a 22k a month rent. We all know that Luann just loves crashing in a teen’s bedroom.

We enter the Skinnygirl office space, and listen to Bethenny jabber about her business and her pricey divorce—because it’s BethennySkinnygirlBethenny, 90 mph, 24/7. After we sit through a Skinnygirl commercial, Ramona comes by and throws a wrench into the  chocolate sales pitch. Ramona shares that Dorinda had been sending her heartbroken texts, expressing sad disappointment in her longtime friend. Ramona regrets her comments—because Dorinda is taking being utterly humiliated on camera, much too hard. Bethenny notes that Dorinda’s upset comes from being confronted by the truth, then reenacts John’s performance. Bethenny tells Ramona that she should feel fine about her horrible comments, because the relationship is indeed disgusting. The duo concludes that Dorinda was in pain after her husband’s death, and John preyed on the weak and lonely. 

Ramona feels terrible—as she should—and somehow attributes her horrifying actions to playing into John’s ultimate plan. Ramona and Bethenny call Jules, to hear her take, and drag her into the gossip. Bethenny shoots off questions rapid fire, and Jules stutters in response, clearly wanting out. Jules finally cries “Skinnygirl,” and admits that she would kill her husband if he acted like John, which makes the hens happy. Jules feels trapped, and wonders why the elderly like to jabber about what the youthful so quickly forget. Bethenny shames Jules, hoping to incite feminist rage, but Jules needs an interpreter to slow down Bethenny’s old lady motormouth. Bethenny thinks that Jules wants to blindly back John, and refers to her as one with “special needs,” while wondering if John will still honor her dry cleaning discount.

Evidently, John and Dorinda made up, and are now heading to the Hamptons. The couple plans to stay at Jules’ and and Michael’s home. Jules and Michael are also en route to the Hamptons, and we learn that Jules is planning a casual gathering, before everyone heads back to the city. We check into Bethenny’s Hamptons place, where the know-it-all is preparing to head out to dinner, with Ramona and Dorinda. Bethenny hopes that she can boss Dorinda into submission, but isn’t sure if she can pull it off.

Jules and her family arrive at their torn up home, a big place with lots of potential, and tons of ongoing projects. The family participates in a quickie shabbat, and the effort they make to cram in a family tradition, is impressive. John and Dorinda arrive, and Dorinda and Jules chat about what went down at bra night. Dorinda expected as much from Bethenny, the heartless tycoon bitch, but was truly hurt by her good friend, Ramona. Dorinda wants to draw a line in the sand wth Ramona, and is ready to cut ties with those who diss her power-lover.

Bethenny and Ramona meet at a restaurant, and go over their pre-game strategy. They decide that Dorinda really shouldn’t be angry at Ramona, because it’s Bethenny who deserves an apology. Ramona lectures us on the true meaning of friendship, and how there should be no restrictions on disgusting group humiliation. The duo shoots the breeze about their  harrowing and slutty experiences with small penises, until Dorinda mercifully breaks up the banter. Dorinda gets right to it, and tells Ramona that she embarrassed John terribly, and invaded their privacy.

Bethenny objects, and points out that John’s outburst proves that she knows everything. Bethenny continues to make the dialogue about herself, and demands an apology from Dorinda, for the attack from her loser boyfriend. Dorinda finally apologizes, and tells them both to butt out of her love life. Bethenny isn’t so sure that her mouth can manage it. Ramona finally sincerely apologizes, and Dorinda accepts, while telling us that the friendship may never be the same. Dorinda tries to articulate her love for John, and Bethenny informs her that her heart is mighty wrong, but does feel badly, that she is so torn.

See you next week, for the fire pit party, sponsored by, you guessed it—Skinnygirl.

 

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