It’s honeymoon time on Little Women: LA. Briana says it was so special getting married in front of family and friends. Excuse me, but didn’t she not-invite more people than she invited? Anyway, Matt and Briana are in their rose-petaled suite in white bathrobes. They discuss Christy showing up at the wedding – on their honeymoon – and how the day was almost perfect. Then they eat chocolate covered strawberries and kiss, and I don’t feel so well.
Over at Christy and Todd’s place, Christy gives Todd the gift of silence cupcakes. Sabotage his diet, why don’t you? Todd refuses to eat it. Christy asks him to “stick his finger in it.” After he destroys the chocolate cupcake, there is a choking hazard inside, but not until Christy sticks it in her mouth and sucks on it, do we know it’s a little baby. Are they pregnant? No, but they’ve been matched with a baby from Bulgaria. They decide to keep this news to themselves. Good choice.
Elena, Tonya and Terra are searching for baby stuff. Elena is five months along and has nothing. Tonya and Terra announce they are throwing her a baby shower. Woop, woop. Elena tells Terra that Christy thought she was going to die that night at the western bar. Bitch, please. Terra is so over this. With Christy taking it to the public record level, it is effing up her family. Won’t this baby shower be fun!
Later, Briana and Christy meet for ice-cream and sit in very tall chairs. Why? Christy decides to stir-the-shady-cream by saying she can’t believe Tonya and Terra are doing something for Elena, but not Briana. Why don’t you do something for her Christy? Christy brings up the police report and the need to protect herself and her straw hat. Christy admits she has issues now, but let’s face it, those issues have been there long before #glassgate. She wants a public PSA apology. Bitch, please.
We are with Elena and Preston at the doctor’s office to learn the sex of the babies. So excited! Many commenters have mentioned they want this couple to have their own show, hopefully this will happen, but first, Elena gets the news she should deliver by C-section. Elena is disappointed. Russian women deliver twins all the time with nothing more than a bottle of Vodka, and Elena wants to try. As far as the genders, we are only told it’s double trouble, so that means it’s not boy/girl.
It’s baby shower time! Tonya is excited because Kerwin is with her. And whoever told Terra that her purple lipstick looked good, should be fired. Briana shares that Christy wants a public PSA, not a private PSA. And then Christy and Todd walk in, down a flight of stairs. Why? It was Preston’s fun suggestion to reveal the baby’s gender with a silly string fight. Cool! These people need their own show.
Jasmine and Tonya take Christy aside to ask her why she filed the police report in the first place. Christy whines that was hurt due to her “mush” hat that has been downgraded from “straw.” Tonya reads her and mentions how would she like it if someone did that to her and Todd. Good-bye adoption. Christy’s eyes widen. She agrees to exchange apologies with Terra in order to “get this over this.” But now Terra is not interested.
Matt explains that this one case of his, all the charges were dropped but not the arrest record. More about this later, but hello? No one was arrested. Here’s what happened according to Christy: Terra aggravated her and that’s called aggravated assault. (ROFL at ignorance.) Forget the apology, Christy now says “karma is a bitch” Terra. Bitch, please.
Briana and Matt are also finding out the gender of their baby. It’s a boy! Matt says boys are what he makes. Gag. Elsewhere Jasmine, Tonya, and Terra are discussing another Matt flashing-his-junk-to-other-women, scandal. Yawn. This is cheating, according to Jasmine, and she’s pissed off for being the lone idiot that rallied for Matt’s ass. Not to worry, says Matt, it’s not like he wants to kill Briana, because that would be wrong. Jasmine wants to have yet another intervention for Briana. Briana needs to start sleeping with a knife.
At home, Joe asks Terra why again with the intervention? Terra explains its multiple women, not just one, this time. And Matt’s got an arrest record for domestic violence. This is only proving Joe’s point. Don’t go. But wait, it gets better. Terra tells Joe they are opening they’re home to Briana, her child and her baby on the way. Joe says, OMG Woman! Stay the eff out of it. Yeah, right. Have you met your wife?
Everyone gets together at Jasmine’s for the intervention. Christy is already gunning for a fight. Briana tells the girls that finding out this sexting scandal and the wedding have been the best and worst times of her life. At first Briana told Matt it was over, but after they had sex, she’s kind of got over it. Hormones not love. They take turns telling Briana how barbaric his thought process is and the demeaning comment he is making about her. Briana mentions the sanctity of the vows: for better or worse. What was Matt thinking of? In town or out?
Elena gives great advice, the man is in her life, not her life. Have I mentioned they need a show? Christy points out she knows all about addiction and Matt is addicted to sex. The girls help Briana piece together the timeline of Matt’s cheating. Briana is devastated. In her testimonial Briana gives an Emmy-seeking performance about wanting to understand Matt. Then it’s Jasmine’s turn to give a performance about not compromising oneself and that Briana must leave Matt.
Briana – She and Matt are still living together. Briana is torn between staying together forever or getting a divorce. (Really it said that – like those are her only two choices.)
The ladies – Are still trying to build a friendship with Briana and want to be supportive of whatever, but hope she chooses her safety first.
This was the season finale. What are your thoughts? Do you think #glassgate was manufactured strictly for Christy’s chance at a storyline? And do you want Elena and Preston to get their own show?