Just a little rehash from our last episode of the Real Housewives of New York. Sophomore cast member, Dorinda Medley, threw a lingerie party. Because women can’t go to Macy’s to get their own boobs measured, apparently.
In between browsing through racks of thongs and eating canapés, Bethenny Frankel threw a few digs about Dorinda’s boyfriend, John.
Good friend, Ramona Singer, joined in, telling Dorinda how John bragged to a mutual friend about popping Viagra and performing a ground and pound on Dorinda for six hours. I don’t believe it for a minute. Have you seen this man? He’s not in the peak of health. If he attempted sex for sixty minutes, I’d wager Dorinda would have to call the paramedics.
Either way, Dorinda is a not a happy Housewife, people.
“This episode was one of the hardest and most painful episodes I have ever sat through. And even though we eventually move past it, it really angered me. Truly, madly, deeply angered me. I couldn’t think of anything else the next day. How much crueler could Bethenny and my “dear friend” of 20 years, Ramona, be?!”
Dorinda feels the ladies were setting her up.
“How about that phone call with Ramona and Bethenny? It was like Mean Girls on acid, just add a few decades here and there. Just really gross. Here I was, planning something cute and light and FUN for the girls (and only girls), but they were setting up some ambush between The Two Towers. It truly left my jaw on the floor, because I saw it was a serious premeditated ambush. This wasn’t a drive-by crime of passion, this was First Degree Ambush.”
Well, they have to talk about something other than their fluctuating bra size, am I right? Might as well be John. But Dorinda says it’s all a lie.
“Ramona knows me 20 years and knows me really, really well. …John would never say that to someone! …The truth of the matter is, Ramona heard this from that Star Wars crowd and John doesn’t hang with that crowd because they’re all still stuck living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. And on weekends, we’re usually in the Berkshires, not at the Plaza with Greedo and Jar Jar Binks. Ramona broke my heart simply and purely. It was disgusting and heart wrenching.”
When it comes to Bethenny, Dorinda has truths of her own.
“I wish Bethenny would try sharing some real life time with us, try getting to know us as a twosome, and then go on and form her opinion… If “realness” and “truth” is what Bethenny’s all about, I think she should’ve gotten different taglines. There are plenty of words to describe that, but “real” isn’t one of them.”
Dorinda gives us a little backstory.
“Last summer, I went to the Hamptons once…yes, ONCE. We ended up at Bethenny‘s after visiting a few friends, including Luann… Here’s the thing: There was one comment made about Hannah that I did not appreciate. Bethenny knows what I’m talking about. It got me angry… The next day at brunch, I was still angry. The comment the night before was not only unfair and out of line, it was also mean. That said, I didn’t expect our “off-time” to end up as fodder for everyone.”
So why does Dorinda think the ladies are coming for her?
“…there’s a FASCINATION with my life and relationship with John. Let me clear up a few things: John and I have never gone out with Bethenny Frankel as a couple. Ever. He’s met her a handful of times, at best. We don’t even have friends in common, so her obsession with John and us as a couple is just plain odd.”
Well, the women don’t like John, that much is clear. But then, Dorinda’s daughter doesn’t like him either. Good thing she has an ally in new girl, Jules Wainstein.
“Seeing Jules in her favorite place — home — being her favorite thing — a mom and a wife —brings me a huge smile and it really warms my heart. Home is where Jules truly shines. If she’s not preparing a Shabbat dinner for her husband and 20 people, she’s on the floor playing with her kids… For anyone to criticize how she mothers and how she is as a wife is out of bounds. No one here is the poster child for a [sic] ANYTHING, and we’re all doing our best.”
It looks like the lines have been drawn early this season. Ramona, Bethenny and Carole vs. Luann, Sonja, and Dorinda with Jules still on the bench. Do you think alliances will shift? And what do you think of John—yay or nay? Was Ramona being a good friend or just piling on?
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.