RECAP: Real Housewives of New York — Ramona Betrays Dorinda’s Trust [Season 8, Episode 2]

The Real Housewives of New York begins early in the morning, at Jules’ home. We watch the breakfast routine, and Jules getting her kiddos ready for school. The kids seem to run the show, demanding early morning jacuzzi baths. Watching others perform chores isn’t fun, so I am happy to move on. 

Luckily, jewelry shopping is next, as we meet Bethenny at a designer friend’s jewelry store. Bethenny is treating herself to a piece of jewelry for her birthday. Dorinda joins her, as we learn of Bethenny’s upcoming tailgate birthday party, in the Hamptons. Dorinda launches into pro-John propaganda, which Bethenny finds sketchy.

Carole drags in late, and rails on Ramona’s lunch chatter, like she had never experienced the Ramona-coaster before. Bethenny and Carole snark about Ramona, and Carole breaks out her first passive-aggressive giggle of the episode. Dorinda defends Ramona, but slides downhill when she describes how she and John tackle John’s back hair.

We mercifully jump to Sonja’s place, where Luann arrives for a visit. Sonja is glad, because their friendship is growing, and they enjoy spending time together. Sonja comments that she and Luann have more in common than what she shares with Ramona on-the-prowl. Luann agrees, and tells us that she would like to get married again. Luann comments that she has been hanging out with Bethenny, whenever Carole isn’t kissing Bethenny’s skinny butt. Luann and Carole are not friends, but Luann has long given up blaming Carole for stealing the herb-thrower, from her niece. They chat about Dorinda and John, and Sonja thinks that the furry lug gets a bad rap.

Dorinda pops in to visit Ramona’s light and bright apartment, where every trace of Mario has been thrown out, with the dreary drapes. Sonja phones in, while Dorinda shares that she is aware that Ramona and Sonja’s relationship is struggling. Dorinda wants her daughter to vamoose, and John to stay away, so she can enjoy an empty apartment, like her newly single pal. They sit down to lunch, and Dorinda shares that she is having a lingerie party the next day. Ramona has a hot flash, proving that those pregnancy scares are most definitely a thing of the past.

We jump to Bethenny and Carole dishing about her big herbal romance. Bethenny wonders if it will last, and Carole says nah, because he wants kids, and she plans to be in a wheelchair, in five years. Carole tells Bethenny that she and Luann are not friends, because Luann has been brutal to her, on social media. Bethenny gossips 90 mph, about Luann’s frantic, pushy summer, surmising that Luann is a user, and a calculating friend. Carole assures us that Luann is a terrible person, and clueless about  her own identity, even when she’s not singing. Bethenny doesn’t give a sh*t about anything — as if we couldn’t tell. Do these women like each other — even a little bit??

We check in with John at work, where Dorinda is talking to him about her bra party. John brags that he cleans up Dorinda and we already know that Dorinda Nairs John — it’s all gross, including what Dorinda plans to wear, later on.

Back at Ramona’s, our resident motormouth is phoning Bethenny, to wish her a happy birthday. Ramona asks Bethenny’s advice about telling a tacky story that John blathered while he was drunk, involving a six hour Viagra binge. Ramona believes that a protective girlfriend would speak up about another’s tacky boyfriend. Bravo takes us back to Dorinda’s best sales pitches, selling John like a clunky, but squishy, used car. Ramona notes that she tends to lack tact—and I sense a note of foreshadowing. Bethenny plans to tell Dorinda to cut the low-budget John commercials.

The bra event is upon us, and Dorinda is excited to discover her new cup size. The women gather, and we learn that Ramona and Jules have been acquaintances for six years, and that I was right about what Dorinda is wearing to her party. Carole arrives, willing to check out bras entertain Adam, but not to wear under clothes — which we already know. Jules paws the food, then panics at shrimp cooties and grossly washes her grubby mitts in the ice bucket — making the whole party pay for her Kosher misstep.

Ramona introduces to Carole to Jules, and Carole throws shade about the new skinny chick on the block. I am still reeling over her shrimpy hand bath. The women discuss boob size, and Bethenny butts in with a couple of depressing birthday memories. Ramona’s breasts have surgically grown, Carole needs a training bra, and Bethenny is busted for not knowing anything. They all launch into jabber, debating whether or not the shifty countess should be allowed to sit on Bethenny’s Hamptons tailgate.

Carole and Ramona previously determined that Luann’s good traits cancel out her terrible ones, and the fact that she owns a boat, may push her onto the guest list. Carole jabs at Ramona about talking too much at lunch, and Ramona nails her for being absent during her difficult summer. Carole denied it, but I LOVED that Ramona shut up her complaining yapper.

Bethenny jumps into the brouhaha, loftily questioning Dorinda for misrepresenting her hairy ape of a boyfriend. Bethenny notes that Dorinda continually tries to “sell” John to them — which Dorinda immediately denies. Bethenny begins to rant about John trying to weasel her phone number to discuss a deal, and Dorinda gets defensive, and assures Bethenny that he will grovel at her feet for forgiveness. Bethenny continues to push, and Carole concurs, that Dorinda does make excuses for John, especially when he acts like a hopped-up on Viagra lech. Dorinda defends her decision to be with John, and informs Bethenny that she is not God — much to Bethenny’s skinny chagrin.

Ramona starts blabbering the horrifying 6-hour erection story, in front of the group. Dorinda doesn’t believe it, but is annoyed and hurt that Ramona opened her trap in front of the others. Jules is horrified at their behavior—but coming from someone who washes her hands on the buffet table, her opinion means nothing. Dorinda bleats out her first “back it up!” of the season, and Bethenny switches gears, and blasts the couple as uncontrolled party lushes. They bicker about the drunken incident over the summer, and Bethenny continues the John jabber after Dorinda walks away.

Ramona thinks that Dorinda reacted too defensively, but Carole points out that Ramona was piling onto an already tense conversation. Dorinda blasts Ramona for not speaking to her privately, and reminds her that she knows plenty of dirt about her marriage to Mario. Dorinda remarks that she has always been kind to her loser dates, and Ramona seems shell-shocked.

Dorinda is devastated — but it gets much worse next week, when a tipsy John shows up. Don’t miss it! 

 

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