The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with Kyle and her co-star Portia, arriving at the home in Palm Springs, to prepare for the big kahuna, the finale party. We check in with all of the women, all recovering from their trip to Dubai. Rinna meets up with her manager, to catch up on business. They agree that Rinna’s foul mouth is sassy, and seem to be plotting a brand that feels as familiar as on overused stripper pole.
We jump over to Erika, who is filling in Yolanda on the overseas drama. Erika spills that Vanderpump may be behind Munch-Gate, which brings a dramatic gasp from Yolanda, who is rocking an 80’s boy band hairdo. Lisa fills in Ken, who responds by calling Rinna a stupid bitch.
Eileen repeats her blather to Vinnie, who understandably zones out. Yolanda proclaims a common rosy pink thread in the mystery—YAWN. Rinna wishes that she could be hypnotized, so she could forget that she is a stupid bitch.
Kyle is scurrying around, preparing for her guests. The women all check into a local hotel, to rest up for the upcoming hysteria. The big night is upon us, and the house looks beautiful. Kim arrives, and is nervous about the guest list, but will do anything to get back on camera. Yolanda and Erika show up, and Kyle slobbers all over them, apparently overjoyed by their presence. Yolanda lets us all know that she doesn’t miss her ponytail nub, as Rinna and Camille make their appearance. Yolanda snarks that she is up for some Kim-drama, as the women mix and mingle.
Rinna pounces on Yolanda, and drags her away, to torture her back under the covers, with her motormouth. Rinna blurts out her theory about Lisa being the root of all evil, and apologizes for her beach rant—her best moment of the season. Yolanda doesn’t accept, and just wants Rinna to permanently shut her fat lips. Rinna says that Lisa “pushed” her into her mouthiness, clearly beyond desperate, for Yolanda’s cray-cray approval. Lisa arrives, and offers the cackling hens, a polite hello. Yolanda asserts that she is too weak for anger, but she sure seems to be enjoying the tea party.
Erika, Eileen, and Kathryn join the gossip-fest, and as Kyle walks up, they all hail The Gigi for landing a big underwear gig. They overwhelm Yolanda with their congratulations, and she leaves to hit the bar, evidently ditching her pure and alcohol-free lifestyle. Lisa meets her there, and Yolanda asks her about her role as the dirty Munch-rat. Lisa denies it, and cites her involvement with Mohamed, as her reason for steering clear of the chatter. Yolanda’s volume rises, as she notes that she expects Lisa’s loyalty to lie with Mohamed. Rinna and Eileen pass by, muttering snarky comments. A miracle occurs, when Kyle finally comes through, and backs Lisa’s claimed innocence. Yolanda almost scowls when her “journey” jabber is cut short, by Faye’s encouraging, and optimistic words.
Erika grills Kathryn and Camille, who agree that Lisa is indeed the queen, but that blabbermouth Rinna was not influenced. Kathryn, being a rookie, doesn’t understand that Kyle’s got it figured out, and Erika stupidly muses that Kathryn is under Lisa’s rose-scented spell. Lisa ends the conversation with Yolanda kindly, and Yolanda is thrown for a loop. Yolanda crosses over to the dark side, where Eileen, Rinna and Erika jump her, demanding deets. Yolanda believes that they are all the worst, and is confused about whom to trust. Rinna is disappointed that Lisa won’t admit to being a friendly manipulator, and they all sit down, to further beat the issue into the sand. The women gather on the couches, ready to rip each other to shreds, as Yolanda basks in the blissful attention.
Kim yanks Rinna off the side, and remarks that she doesn’t want the obvious awkwardness. They reminisce about Rinna’s thuggish texts, revealed at the last season’s reunion. Kim baits her to answer for her feelings about the treasonous lunch, and Rinna doesn’t bite, informing Kim that her enraged feelings are reserved for full-time cast members. Rinna pushes Kim to get the the point, and Kim admits that aside from the gratuitous Brandi-lunch, there isn’t one. Kim wants a conflict as bad as her next drink, but Rinna calmly responds that Kim has every right to be a drunk junkie, if that is what she chooses. Rinna wishes her healthy sobriety, and Kim takes it as a dart to the heart, or an implication that she is not stone cold sober. Rinna notes that Kim’s life has been “complicated,” and that she should own her shoplifting sprees. They both try and get in the last dig, as Kim comments that Rinna needs to mind her own beeswax.
Eileen blathers on about unresolved issues, as Yolanda and Lisa both move to get the heck out of there. Rinna hasn’t shut up, since she walked into the event. Lisa throws a polite farewell to Faye, as a thanks to Kyle for the shocking backup. Lisa decides to offer Faye an apology—because she deserves one. Kyle obnoxiously proclaims the event a miracle.
Two months later, in obviously tagged on footage, Lisa, Kyle and Kathryn gather to talk over Yolanda and David’s divorce announcement, conveniently made public on the premiere date of Season 6. Bravo flashes us back to some past “my looove” moments, as Lisa notes how solid the marriage appeared. Lisa assumes that Yolanda was blindsided, but Kathryn isn’t convinced. We jump to Yolanda’s bachelorette pad, as Erika arrives for a visit. Yolanda shares that a $4.5 million space, is perfect for healing, and being a #proudmommy to her three angels.
Evidently, she won custody of the hotly debated painted tiles. Yolanda is getting used to life alone, and the snazzy digs certainly don’t hurt. Yolanda shares that all of the women texted their good wishes, but Yolanda doesn’t trust support from anyone, but her Bravo appointed cheerleader. Yolanda has trust issues with the cast—and they probably would all shoot the same sentiment right back at her. Yolanda runs down the laundry list of reasons for the split, clearly more challenging issues than any other couple on the planet. We learn that life is complicated, divorce is death, and Yolanda misses her King. I miss her ocean view.
Eileen and Rinna meet up, as Rinna gushes over their perfect friendship. Eileen is sporting a teeny-bopper hairstyle, and Rinna looks more in need of a burger. Rinna is aghast that Yolanda blabbed about her illness, and left out the dirt about her crumbling marriage. Dr. Rinna diagnoses Yolanda’s illness as rogue heartbreak, and seems satisfied that she has cracked the case. Rinna admits to being an eff-up, even though she knows she was on point about the whole shebang. We wrap with Rinna announcing a talk show pilot—and hawking industrial sized lip gloss.
Eileen is trying to land a soap role for Erika, Kyle is shooting her scary childhood story over the summer, and Lisa and Ken may be opening a new restaurant. Erika is maintaining her trashy career, and Kathryn is excited to hear French. We see a parting shot of Yolanda and David, and learn that she is feeling better. A big shock—NO. It’s off to the reunion we go—and I may never munch anything, ever again!