On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle Bryant had a Come to Jesus lunch, and that meant she wanted to clutch a “reserved” sign in her angry hands and air all her grievances about Katie Rost. But lest she be outdone, Karen Huger had a few choice things to say to Ashley Darby. She nearly had to wrestle the “reserved” sign from Gizelle in order to do it, but she managed. Oh, and there was champs and crab cakes. Because no religiously named lunch is complete without appetizers.
Little Ashley Darby, who loves to remind us she’s the youngest woman in this circle, bopped her way into Potomac talking about charity, the importance of giving back, and the size of her husband’s dork. Karen tried to take young Ashley under her wing, but after a girls’ weekend came to an abrupt end when Ashley’s husband decided to show up and stay in his own home (the nerve!!) Karen put Ashley on blast.
So now here we are, at this lovely restaurant. But as Karen’s eyes squint and twitch in that manic way, we know Ashley is about to get it. Karen is upset that Ashley wanted to befriend her teenage daughter. Hey, Ashley! Forget it. Karen isn’t going to let you even say her daughter’s name. Ashley, however, isn’t fazed.
“I knew that the lunch was going to be a session of ridiculousness. The only reason I agreed to come was because Karen and I needed to clear the air… It was clear that Karen had been carefully crafting her ‘take down’ for days… so she was ready to claw at my jugular.”
Furthermore, Karen thinks Ashley should stop jerking off her husband (literally) and have her own kid. Because she’s not going to get her graspy young hands on Karen’s precious daughter.
“What came from that was a crass and disgusting comment that shows just how uncouth Karen can actually be. Because the discussion was way over her head, she had to say the nastiest sexual comment she could think of.”
This was basically the totality of Karen’s nonsensical argument. Her rage was completely disproportionate to Ashley’s minor (if any) offense. In fact, that rant was downright bizarre. But Ashley shrugged it off, because she’s busy with her restaurant, which features Australian cuisine. Which is what, exactly? Kangaroo? Wombat?
“Michael and I had our share of ups and downs too, as operating a business with your partner adds a whole new dimension to the relationship. We found ourselves talking about the restaurant all the time – pillow talk wasn’t sexy anymore. But we have since found a great chef and a dedicated team who care about the success of Oz, so things are finally settling down.”
And looking back on the dancefloor-butt-grab, Ashley still doesn’t understand all the fuss. So her hubby groped another man’s ass. That’s perfectly normal, right? Right?
“For the life of me, I will never understand why Gizelle and Robyn were watching my husband on the dance floor! When I look back at the footage I see just how taken aback I was by the stupidity of the conversation…”
And so our time in Potomac has ended on a note of absurdity. But since this season was low on drama and high on nonsense, we could expect no less.
So did Karen have a point? Should Ashley let her husband inseminate her? And just why was Karen so angry in the first place?