RECAP: Little Women LA — Tonya & Terra Ruin Briana’s Bachelorette Party In Mexico [Season 4, Episode 9]

Little Women LA picks up where we left off last week, in Mexico, with the little gals celebrating Briana, pretending to be single. Jasmine is trying to make the trip fun, but it sure doesn’t look it, as the women trek through the rain, to see some ruins. The women are still squabbling over pretending to  support a marriage that has already occurred—like they are all pillars of the highest moral consciousness. Tonya spilled to Briana that many of them are counterfeit supporters, but an annoyed Briana wants to stick out the trip for Jasmine.

The group meets up with Jasmine’s cousin, Victor, who is kindly playing tour guide. He arranges for pedicabs, so the women won’t have to slosh through the mud. The drivers pedal the gals down a muddy road, and they have a good time. Christy comments that having Matt absent is sheer heaven, and is allowing her to see the old Briana. Victor takes them hiking in the mud, and the women complain about the exercise, and chat about the sweaty, gross mini-stripper, that they sprung on an unwilling Briana, the night before. Briana complains to Jasmine about the girls only supporting sweaty strippers, and not her husband, and Ali dishes that Terra and Tonya are trying to sway her opinion. The threesome tries to crack the Matt-hater truth, and Briana is upset that Christy may be a double-agent. Briana wants the girls to be honest, or just shut up forever. Dream big, Briana.

The girls arrive at a huge Mayan pyramid, and it is quite a sight. The women decide to scale the rock incline, which is a challenge, especially for the little ladies. The girls are troopers, and work to climb a few rock steps, and Terra is a beast, and makes it all the way. She shrieks out her victory, and annoys everyone at the top. Way to go, Terra! Briana uses the moment of shared defeat, to re-announce that she and Todd are going to adopt, and Elena spills about the pregnancy. Everyone acts thrilled, but Christy pouts, because she feels that her recycled adoption story, was upstaged. Briana is obviously annoyed, and her empty uterus triggers anger over the phony hearts behind the trip. Tonya points out that she has freely admitted that she hates Matt, and Terra comments that Briana is a big fat liar, but will fake support for her, for a free trip to Mexico.

The women agree that they all detest Matt, but want to try and support Briana. Briana rats out Ali out for being a snitch, and Terra flings the gossip right back in her face. Terra loses it, and bellows at Ali, disturbing all of the lazy people at the bottom of the pyramid. Jasmine just wants everyone to shut up, and I agree with her. Christy is a wildcard, and Briana has no idea where she stands. Christy believes that Briana is a liar, and Matt is a dirtbag, and that Briana should let her family in on the couple fun. Briana isn’t sure if she wants Christy at her wedding. Tonya concludes that these mini-heifers are nuts, and they all should bail on the whack-ass nuptials. Terra and Tonya commiserate, and agree that Christy is a two-faced, double talker.

Tonya, Terra and Elena frolic with some dolphins, and for the first time, the trip looks fun. Terra is wearing a bizarre goddess bathing suit, as the trio chats about the pyramid gossip. They yammer about Briana’s happiness, and rebuilding relationships of gossipy hatred. Elena believes that Briana is happy with Matt, and that they should all drop the boring subject.

We jump to Jasmine and Briana, who are souvenir shopping, and Jasmine is trying to cheer up the discouraged bride. They discuss the evening to come, and the nit-picky nature of this group of bitchy women. They sob together over Jasmine’s epic trip failure, and the broken friendships, that cause problems with Matt.

Christy and Ali get together, and the duo discusses the same old gossip. Christy is peeved that Terra sold her out, and feels that her fat mouth  twisted her words. The final night in Mexico has finally arrived, and Jasmine has arranged a nice setting in which Briana will feel free to unleash her wrath. The women arrive, and Tonya decides to just ride out the drama, until Briana’s divorce. Elena blames Briana for wrecking the end of the trip, and Ali jumps in, and calls it right—commenting that they all are pretty darn terrible. The gaggle explodes into bleating accusations, and disturbs the old folks, there for the early bird special.

Jasmine is embarrassed, but Terra doesn’t care if she clears the whole resort, wth her big mouth. Briana believes that Terra needs to shut her yap, but Terra loudly disagrees. Terra has been honest, but Briana is buying into Christy’s fake acceptance of Matt. Terra barks out that Christy actually hates Matt, and Briana notes that she is sick of the ugly bitchiness. Terra finally admits that she is jealous of Christy’s double-agent skills, and accuses Briana of being afraid of Matt. Terra and Tonya storm out, and the old folks are relieved. So am I!

 

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