RECAP: Little Women LA “Hostile Housewarming” [Season 4, Episode 7]

Little Women of LA kicks off back in Elena’s OBGYN’s office, where we officially learn that Elena and Preston are having fraternal twins. Elena is excited, but concerned about weight gain, and a high risk pregnancy.

We jump over to Christy’s, where her mom is giggling at Christy attempting 5 minutes of exercise. Christy reminds us that her family recently moved, they are attempting to to adopt a baby, and that her husband is still enormous. Christy finally spouts wisdom, and states that she can’t force Todd to go under the knife, but she can lead by example and try to unload a few pounds. YAY Christy! Christy is peeved at Todd’s snark about her weight, considering that he is blowing up like a lard filed balloon. Christy decides to shut up, and plan a housewarming party instead.

We check in with Tonya, who is with her daughter, seeing a doctor about a wonky eye problem. Tonya asks Angelique’s opinion about reconciling with her father, and Angelique votes a resounding no. Angelique hates the arguing, and wonders out loud, if her parents are having sex. Tonya offers some gross commentary, that I hope Angelique never hears. The doc checks Tonya out, and recommends eye surgery for the second time. Tonya is disappointed, but decides to for through with the surgery.

Jasmine and Briana meet up for pedicures, and as they settle into the kiddie chairs, Briana announces her winter wedding plans. Briana dishes that there’s no way that she will be inviting all the mini-bitches to her wedding, due to their  lack of support for her deadbeat dream-man, Matt. Terra and maybe even Christy may get the cut, a harsh decision, considering she was Christy’s maid of honor. Jasmine wants to plan a bachelorette party, in Mexico. Briana is touched, and Jasmine hopes that a dose of ole’ may bring the group back together.

Christy, Elena, and Christy’s friend, Ali, gather for a meal and a mini-reunion. Ali describes her type of dwarfism, and confirms that she works in a freak show, in Venice Beach. Christy invites Ali and her husband to her housewarming party, and warns her to watch out for scary Tonya.

Speaking of Tonya, we join her and Terra, who are hanging out, trying to mend their friendship after Tonya abandoned Terra, in her time of need. Terra shares that Penny is improving, and Tonya explains about her upcoming eye surgery. Terra throws some shade, and promises that she will faithfully step up, where Tonya miserably failed. They chat about Christy’s housewarming, and imply that Christy has exaggerated her home’s magnificence.

We hop over to Elena and Preston’s, where they are preparing to tell Preston’s dad that they are having twins. They announce the news via a remote-controlled truck, and it’s exciting and adorable. Preston’s dad is kind, and encouraging.

Matt and Briana are on a date night, and Briana tells Matt about the bachelorette party. Matt thinks the idea is nice, but they are both worried about the dynamics of the trip. Matt requests a booty shot—and I have no words.

Christy arrives at Jasmine’s for a chat, where Jasmine hopes to convince her to support the Mexican fiesta. They chitchat about Christy’s house, and the never-ending questions that swirl around these chicks’ dramatic guest lists. Jasmine explains that she wants to throw Briana a party, and Christy is peeved that her non-effort, is being replaced. Christy expected Briana to come crawling back to her, and Jasmine resists rolling her eyes. Jasmine understands that the friendship is fractured, and encourages Christy to work on it.

Terra and Joe are meeting with their real estate agent, and Terra hopes that their loan was given the green light, so they can move and have more children. Their loan application was flagged, and Joe cracks stupid jokes to lighten the mood. Terra’s credit blows, and the agent says that they need to wait a year to re-apply. Joe is heartbroken-NOT, and offers a snarky “bummer” in response. Terra wants a baby, but Joe almost clicks his heels together at the news that Terra’s credit is in the toilet.

It’s the night of Christy and Todd’s housewarming, and Christy kicks off the fun, by complaining about her useless, lazy, elephant of a husband. She has to do all of the work, due to her superior lung capacity, and she is not happy. The guests arrive, and Terra thinks that the house is fab. Jasmine tells Terra about the bachelorette party, and Terra thinks that the whole idea is bizarre. Preston and Elena arrive, and Christy tells Terra and Elena that Ali is coming. Terra reminds us that the little people community is tiny, and according to the clip, throwing down and screaming at each other like banshees, should be expected. Terra thinks that Christy should have submitted her guest list for approval, and that she’s asking for trouble, by cracking her door to a newbie.

Briana arrives with Matt, and Christy proclaims she will fumigate, the minute Matt leaves. Ali and the other Matt arrive, and Tonya is immediately annoyed at the gall of someone breathing her air. Matt meets the girls, and offers a drunk doozy of a first impression. Jasmine announces the Mexico trip, and Elena is horrified at the idea of throwing up in a foreign country. Briana half-heartedly encourages anyone who feels like it, to come along. Terra mentions Briana’s family, hoping that the F-word may get her thrown off the guest list. Terra and Tonya scamper off to discuss the scandalous developments, including the horror of Briana marrying Matt all over again. They agree that they don’t support the marriage — are we all just pretending that they are aren’t already married?

Briana and Ali get acquainted, and seem to hit it off, especially because Ali doesn’t know Matt well enough to trash-talk him. Christy scurries in to join in the Mexico gossip, and Terra and Tonya share their concerns. Christy votes HELL to the no, but wants to drag and torture the others, to support Briana.

The show wraps with a preview of the rest of the season, which includes a strange clip of Briana and Matt’s goth wedding. I am already scared! See you next week!

 

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