Last night’s new episode of Real Housewives of Potomac kicked off with Katie, fresh from flipping Ashley off for living her dream life, is home playing with her adorable children, as Ashley (who wants children) is still working on the details of the Australian fusion restaurant she is opening with her husband. The grass is always greener! Karen is taking her daughter to Krav Maga classes. We learn, sadly, that Karen was mugged a year ago and she now wants Rayvin to be able to defend herself. Watching Karen being so emotional about her daughter makes me realize that I am beginning to like her… a little. She has even purchased a hot pink stun gun for her daughter. No one watching this show will think that kid is an easy mark.
Across town, Michael and Ashley are working on the restaurant again and we hear how important being independent is for her. She wants to be able to support her family, as well. Success matters to her. Michael handles the financials, she handles the operations. They are interviewing staff and hoping to find energetic people. Michael crosses a line with a comment around his long hard tube (a didgeridoo), while some of the interviewees tell a little too much, as well.
Robyn and Charrisse get together and talk about the lives they’ve led as NBA wives. It gives them a bond they don’t have with the other women. Robyn is still worried about what happens if Juan has to leave town for a new job and Charrisse wants to know if she still loves him (Yes). They are in a committed relationship, Charrisse tells her. Robyn refuses to call it a relationship. What they share is “crazy complicated”, not crazy. Juan has to tell Robyn that he can’t live without her for her to move with him. On the up side, she looks forward to being able to hire her personal chef back, if things go well. Charrisse says that her husband is a great dad, but lousy husband and has texted him tell him that she is done. She has told Eddie that he can have a divorce and his single life. Both couples have complicated lives.
Gizelle visits Karen on a stormy night. Sorry folks, no outdated kitchen scenes to mock. The ladies can’t wait to gossip as Ashley’s party comes up. Gizelle stiffed the bill not knowing she had to pay for drinks, she says. Karen has decided to help Ashley learn how to host the ladies by chartering a yacht, no money for drinks needed, but everyone has to bring a date. In a Talking Head, Gizelle wants to know what Charrisse is going to do. I wish she’d asked the question. Katie and Andrew come up. Was she on something? Was there too much alcohol? Drugs?
The flashbacks show the slobbering with Andrew, jumping in Ashley’s car, flipping Ashley off. Karen feels bad, she knows Katie is a good mom and doesn’t want to go too far. They decide to talk to Katie, directly – talking behind one another’s back never goes well. They also notice that the lightning strikes every time they talk about her. It might be a sign, they say, that they should stop talking about Katie.
Speaking of family, Ashley receives a visit from her mom, Sheila, and her brother, Zachary. They have such a good relationship – fun and light-hearted. This is the first time I believe it when a reality show daughter says she and her mother are best friends. They even look-alike! They are so much fun together that Zachary seems to step back and enjoy the Ashley-Sheila show. We learn that Ashley gave her mother father’s day cards, too, while growing up. That is how much her mother meant to her as a child, and even now. She is saddened that her mother has had to file bankruptcy recently (which should have made her empathetic to Robyn’s plight). Ashley wants to help but her proud mother wants to “be the mom” and take care of herself.
Katie is meeting with Karen for lunch, and to try to convince her to join the Rost Foundation’s host committee. Andrew is giving her a pep talk before Karen comments that she last saw Katie at Ashley’s party and Katie joked that she had to “rehab” from that and apologizes for her behavior. Karen accepts (uh, what? Why is Katie apologizing to Karen?) Karen also comments on the party’s theme being a bit “too young” for her, she expected to see animal crackers on the table. Katie brings up the host committee idea and wants her to help with a casino night, which is a month away with a goal of raising 100K. That seems to send a jolt through Karen, who claims that she is spread too thin and cannot help her. She also thinks it is asking for too much money in such a short period of time. In addition, she has the annual Huger Charity Event to run. They joke about Karen’s rolodex. Katie wants it, Karen laughs when she says no. Katie is not amused.
Gizelle is looking amazing as she meets her date, Herman, for lunch. She says that she doesn’t date scrubs, but I have to say that despite his accomplishments, I am not impressed by her date. He seems too nervous, and awkward. He pushes for multiple dates and “forever.” He excitedly feeds her raw oysters but doesn’t want to try them. She wishes he had a little edge, like having spent one night in jail (Say what, now? She had a man with edge, and he was a cheater. #NoMoreMenWithEdge). She may not be interested in him, but invites him to Karen’s party. Since many men don’t make it to a second date with her, he is calling himself victorious for being invited. He says that they are skipping the second date and working on date three. Way too desperate. He tries to lean in and kiss her when the date is over, but she is too quick. He really is square, and I suddenly like him so much more for that. Herman makes me think he is going to go home to write in his journal about his lunch date with Gizelle. Karen is going to love this former House Delegate/Congressional candidate.
Ashley, taking advantage of the course behind Katie’s home, finds out she is not cut out for golf. Andrew, at Katie’s request, shows her how to position herself before hitting the ball. It includes him standing closely behind her pulling her hair back. Ashley laughs. I am annoyed that he has once again publicly feshitzed her and she is letting it happen. They are beginning to feel as if they are auditioning for a partner swap with the Darbys. Even if he did put a ring on it, he should show her more respect than that.Is there anything else between these two people? Katie later shares with Ashley the comments Karen made about the make out session with Andrew at the birthday party. It is funny that they consider Karen’s comments to be ageist, as Katie then goes on to talk about the fun she has hanging out with Ashley instead of the “old biddies.” I guess that will teach Karen to say no to Katie.
Back at Karen’s home (a tribute to the 80s) she pages her husband to their 80s styled bedroom to coordinate their yacht outfits. While we see the other women get ready, we see Robyn and her family play basketball. They are not going. They don’t want to put anymore pressure on their undefined relationship. Y’all, their children don’t even know they are divorced! On board, Karen is wearing a long formal dress (different from the dress “with holes” that her husband mistook for a top). Michael shows up with a pirate’s hat. Karen loves that he is loaded and likes to have fun. The hostess, of course, makes sure that the Darby’s know that she is showing everyone how they should entertain. Karen still thinks that Ashley is her pupil in training. Charrisse defies orders and brings her loud friend, Brynee – the only person who is apparently permitted to run through Charrisse’s home while making noise.
Foreshadowing: Michael asks if they are going swimming – he brought his trunks. Ray says he is right behind him and Karen throws cold water on their burgeoning bromance by telling Ray he can’t go swimming, to stay with her. She throws cold water on Gizelle’s date night by asking if Herman is “Mr. Miami.” Karen forget to read her own etiquette book, perhaps. Jealousy, naybe? Gizelle asks about Katie’s fundraiser, leads to another discussion about Karen being upset about the Katie-Andrew situation. She admits she drank too much. Gizelle offers to help Katie. Elsewhere on the boat, Karen pretends she wishes she could have done things differently, as she is speaking with Charrisse about the set-up for the party. Michael distracts from Karen’s pretentious ass party by beginning to strip down and jump off the ship. I can’t imagine that most of the guests wouldn’t want to join him! Even Gizelle tells Michael it’s wrong. She even claims that since “we black”, we don’t do this.There are a lot of black people who would have gone in, too. Karen is convinced even more than ever that Ashley needs her help. Does anyone still say “whatever”? That’s all I have, right now.
Ashley invites the women to the Darby’s beach house in Bethany Beach for a girls retreat – excluding those with “protrusions.” Katie ask if you can come if you have a really big clit. Donors are going to love this episode. Gizelle and Karen clutch pearls and prepare to faint. Neither is so offended that they refuse the offer, as next week’s previews show us. I guess we will see if Katie’s hope for a drama free vacation holds!