We are still in Jamaica, back at the bar, and The Real Housewives of Atlanta are about to get into it. Sheree, who is allergic to fake sh*t and a member of the Keep-It-Real police, informs Kim what the ladies really think of her husband, Chris. And Sheree takes it a step further by admitting she researched it on Google – because honey, if it’s on the internet, it’s got to be true. Chris is gay. Plain and simple. However, in ten years of marriage, Kim has never heard this rumor, and wants to cut everyone with her mouth, while holding a bible, I’m sure.
Kenya checks Kim left and right by saying no one cares if Chris is gay OR if they have tax problems. Then Kenya asks if the real Kim Fields could please stand up, and Kim stands up, only to walk off. I wanted her to stay and say something, but we’ll have to wait until Tootie’s second season when the newbies tend to get real. Kenya isn’t happy she’s under the bus by herself, but that’s the way the bus crashes – on the person who is driving.
The following morning NeNe is eating breakfast and Kim joins her. All is well, according to Kim, except for that Kenya. NeNe is like, Girl, you need to address this. Phaedra joins them, decked out like it’s 4th of July and she’s in a parade, and advises Kim, Girl, you’ve got to chop off the snake’s head. Kim says thanks but no thanks. Girl, wants to take the high road, bless her heart. NeNe and Phaedra practice role-play for Kim so she can see how to read someone – because Kim thinks reading is what you do with a book. Phaedra plays the part of “Keyonce” and twirls around and around while calling for security. Funny stuff, but Kim learns nothing.
Back in the ATL, Kandi still has not had her baby yet. She and Todd are interviewing chefs for their new family restaurant, but he has to get Aunt Bertha on board, so by all means, get her a rum and Coke. Basically it goes like this, Aunt Bertha has a complaint about every southern/Cajun dish the chef has prepared, until the ribs. Now Aunt Bertha’s on board. The end. We don’t see Kandi again until next week.
In her suite, Kim calls her hubby Chris to tell him all about the hilarious rumor relating to his sexuality. Baby, did you know you’re gay? Hahahaha! Chris thinks Kim has got them all shook up and at least he doesn’t have a mug shot. So there. Take that Porsha. Don’t forget how sassy Chris can be.
Peter takes the gang to the most beautiful place, Dunn’s River Falls. A must see. Kenya and Matt ditch everyone and climb the rocks to the top of the waterfall first. “What took you so long?” Kenya asks the others when they arrive, after linking arms to make it to the top, working together as a team.
Moving on to the jerk chicken, Peter wants the ladies to eat at one table by themselves on one side of the patio while the men sit on the other side and smoke a fatty. It’s what you do when you’re in Jamaica, mon. Once stoned, Peter starts picking on Matt again. Peter tells Matt that they’ve been knowing Kenya for two years, and though she’s “misunderstood,” they still love her. Matt says he does too. The crowd goes quiet. The crickets stop chirping, the frogs stop ribbiting, and the mosquitos stop biting. Get out of here, Dog! Peter moves to picking on Oliver and talks about Porsha’s got-a lot-of-ass. Oliver proudly agrees.
Over with the women, NeNe brings up the brunch and the free therapy she gave to Kim and how she’s willing to “Fix My Life” NeNe style for Kim and Kenya, but first does Kim want to say a prayer. Kim calmly tells Kenya that she crossed a line of disrespect talking about her family. They need to be cordial or not at all. Kenya congratulates Kim for speaking up for herself, but Cynthia jumps in and points out that Kenya gets ratchet, so take it down a notch. Cynthia uses her voice and Kenya apologizes to Kim.
There’s a quick dessert scene with white chocolate balls and Sheree and NeNe telling Cynthia it’s time to confront Kenya on her behavior. Cynthia is aware the real problem between Kim and Kenya is her. She chose one over the other. Momma didn’t pick her favorite child.
It’s the last night in Jamaica and Peter is all dressed up like he’s going to meet Jesus, according to Phaedra. He thanks everyone for coming to his homeland – except Kenya and Matt – they aren’t there. In the meantime, the gang listens to the tropical sounds of steel drums and watches the dancers perform. Phaedra and Porsha show the dancers how to twerk because – I don’t know why – sorry I just don’t. Matt and Kenya finally show up and Kenya is all smiles with a healthy glow. Mmm-hmm.
Cynthia asks Kim when she thinks she can see some of the ‘mercial. (So sick of this word.) Which brings Cynthia to mention that Kenya was the only one missing from the ‘mercial because she paddled off while they were filming the ‘mercial. Miracle of miracles, Kenya apologizes twice in one episode. Kenya says she felt hurt and disrespected and regrets her “jerk-move.” Cynthia wanted her in the ‘mercial, starring as her best friend girl friend. When Kenya asks if this was before or after NeNe arrived, NeNe said, Girl, I may have been gone a few weeks, but I am back. Deal, honey.
Everyone makes up and Peter doesn’t cuss anyone out like he was going to if Kenya didn’t apologize. Cheers to Jamaica. So long, mon!
See you next week in the ATL when we watch: Babies First Prison Visit.