RECAP: Little Women LA “Oh Baby!” [Season 4, Episode 4]

Little Women of L.A. begins in an open field, where Terra, Tonya and Elena have gathered, to fly a kite. Terra runs her big butt off, but Elena is in heels and Tonya is too lazy for such nonsense. They chat about the apple picking heart-to-heart with Briana, and fill Elena in on the dramatic convo about Briana’s estranged family. Terra comments that they tried, but talking to Briana is like talking to a half brick wall, and she probably really just wants them all to shut up. Elena reminds us that she and Jasmine hate each other, and wishes that the other gals would quit mentioning her existence. Tonya dishes that Kerwin is coming to visit, to test the romantic waters, even though she is on the rebound, and Kerwin is shacking up with another woman.

We check in with Briana, who is making cookies with her kiddo. We learn that deadbeat Matt is an amazing dad, and Briana wants to have his baby. Briana is stressed, and has been experiencing every pregnancy symptom imaginable. She plans to check in with the doc, and get some answers.

We hop over to Tonya’s, where we see Kerwin arrive. Kerwin is nervous because of Tonya’s habit of dumping him over and over. Tonya wants to give it the old repeated college try, and promises to be committed this time. Tonya’s old boyfriend, Jaa, is still her business partner, and Kerwin doesn’t trust her fickle ways, but gives in, and says that he will allow Tonya to give it her best shot. Does Tonya ever function on her own?

We join Christy and her mom, who are having some girl time, and discussing their need for a bigger house. Todd is addicted to video games, and Christy is worried that the habit is making him humongous. Christy wants him to have gastric bypass surgery…what about a walk around the block? 

Elena and Preston are seeing a doctor to further enhance Elena’s butt (WHAT?) and Terra has come to model her backside for a primo reference. Elena wants new boobs, and Terra warns her that she and Jasmine are pretty much morphing into the same person. Elena is peeved that her boobs have competition, and vows that they will always remain two of a kind. I feel like I’m hearing things, but sure enough, the doc enters and we get a gross closeup of Elena’s butt. We hear all the gory details, as the doc explains how he is going to make Elena into a mini-Kim K.

Elena and Preston meet up with Kerwin and Tonya for a double date, and Elena hits it right away, nailing the couple for sharing a bed. Elena interrogates Kerwin about his girlfriend, and Kerwin assures her that she knows that he is spending his vacation time in Tonya’s bed.

Jasmine and Chris are having some couple time, and take a lunch break to shop, and chat. Jasmine wants another baby, and Chris caves, and agrees to Jasmine’s dream of a big Mexican family. Speaking of babies, we jump to Matt and Briana, and learn that Briana is not pregnant. Briana is upset, and is worried that she may never have a child with her deadbeat husband. Matt really wants a baby, but Briana does not want to seek fertility treatments.

Kerwin is packing up to head home to his #1 honey, and promises to think about his #2’s sales pitch. Tonya understands that the adjustment may take time, but she would like Kerwin to move his decision along asap. Kerwin doesn’t want sloppy seconds, and is worried that Tonya is still hooked on Jaa. Kerwin proclaims that Tonya as a pretty good friend, which disappoints Tonya, who was hoping to score the mistress title. I just can’t with these two!

Jasmine and Briana meet up for lunch, and Jasmine spills that she is throwing away her birth control. Briana spills about her faux pregnancy symptoms, and Jasmine thinks the false alarm was for the best, due to her hot mess of a life. Jasmine assures Briana that she never wants to hurt her, but thinks she’s wrong to cut off her family.

Terra and Jasmine are rollerblading, another potential activity for some good midget crashing. Jasmine obliges, but explains that falls are no biggie when you’re a mini. The women struggle to stay upright, but it looks fun. They discuss plastic surgery, and Terra explains that she has no interest in looking like a shrunken Kardashian. They chat about Briana and her dysfunctional life for the millionth time.

Over at Christy and Todd’s, Christy is cooking, and Todd is sitting like a zombie in front of a video game. Christy approaches the baby subject, and her worry about his weight. Christy is concerned that they will never be chosen as adoptive parents, because Todd is a giant whale, who may drop dead, any second. Todd doesn’t want surgery or to walk around the block, and he responds by slitting his eyes and shooting glares at his wife. Christy is trying to bully him into failure, and it is beyond bizarre. Todd suggests therapy, and promises not to drop dead on the way there. Christy reluctantly agrees, as long as she can drop him off at the hospital on their way home.

It’s babies, babies, babies, and next week we will all find out what is happening with Briana’s empty uterus.  See you then!

 

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