RECAP: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — Lisa Rinna and Yolanda’s Munchausen Blowout! [Season 6, Ep 12]

We kick off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills during the cast San Diego trip, at the home of Kathryn and Donnie Edwards. The couple shipped in Jerusalem stone to build their kitchen vent hood, and after the  concert, Kathryn is worried that Erika may stick dirty prayer notes into it. Back at the hotel, the girls meet in the lobby, jump on Erika’s tour bus, and head over to Kathryn’s. The ladies check out the pretty house, then sit down to a fancy lunch. Eileen immediately kicks off the drama by revisiting the Bella/Anwar Lyme gossip, and wants the guilty blabbermouth to step forward. Jayne has been replaced by Girardi, and Erika finally cops to being the trashy snitch. The women all exchange darting glances.

The lunch is delish, and the bony subject of Lisa Rinna’s eating habits, or lack thereof, is mentioned. Lisa understands, and just wishes that people would ask her about her disdain for food, and not act nasty like “that person.” “That person” is none other as Kim Richards, and Bravo treats us to a flashback of that epic glass smashing scene in Amsterdam. Kyle gets pissy about Lisa’s assertion that the smackdown was all Kim’s fault. Kyle knows that Kim didn’t “handle things well,” but draws an enabler’s line at such unfair vocabulary, and out-of bounds words such as “problems.” Lisa comments that the situation with Kim was scary, and Kathryn jumps in, accusing her of being dramatic. Lisa disagrees, and asserts that junkie lunatics tend to be unnerving, especially on an empty stomach. Erika joins and tries to shut everyone up, because she is a badass poser, and is gutless when it comes to hanging in heated dialogue.

Kyle gets up and flounces off, and shoots back, reminding us of Lisa R’s terrifying texting habits. Bravo brings us back that insane car ride, where Kim’s junkie glory was on full display. Eileen asks about Kathryn’s past, and Kathryn shares that she lost her father to suicide at the age of thirteen. Eileen apologetically explains how past events are linked, and how subject lines tend to blur, and Lisa R. apologizes for bringing up the subject. Kyle whines that she never wants to talk about Kim, except when she mentions her herself. Erika gives us her running commentary, and feels that she can now view Kathryn as a human, and be her friend.

Life carries on in the 90210, and we get a glimpse of King David, inwardly cringing in the same sick room as Yolanda. Over at the Girardi’s, Erika and her grand-husband are getting ready to leave for an evening out with Lisa and Ken. Erika shares that she will be hosting a wild and crazy barbecue. Lisa and Ken arrive, and the couple meets Tom. Erika gives Lisa a tour, and we all get another look at her tacky, egomaniacal art.

The foursome arrives at the restaurant, and banters about the menu. Lisa and Tom exchange quips, as Erika informs us that she never gets jealous of other hussies coming after her loaded grand-husband. They chat about Erika’s “career,” and Tom comments that he loves Erika’s shows because they are artistic and slut-tastic. Erika edges into her Jayne persona, and Tom shuts her down, and sends the slut to her room. Sparkly Tom tells her that he will see her next Tuesday, and turns his attention back to Lisa. Yolanda is brought up, and Lisa points out that Yolanda’s social media is whackadoodle, and she deserves what she gets. Tom shushes Erika, and pompously rambles like he’s in court, proclaiming Lisa’s presence  formidable, like a snapping alligator. Ken appears peeved at Tom’s snap assessments, but Lisa is a good sport. The boss has spoken, case closed.

Adrienne Maloof and her hooves are meeting Kyle for lunch, and Adrienne hawks her new skincare line in the first thirty seconds. Now that the commercial is over, Adrienne and Kyle can discuss the sister that Kyle evidently now wants to talk about. We jump to Lisa R. who is sharing with her daughters poems that her sister wrote, before she died of a drug overdose. We jump back and forth between the two sets of women, like a  depressing Al anon sponsored ping-pong game.

It’s the day of the party, and Erika gets ready with her gay team, who evidently are paid to gush vapid compliments. Eileen picks up Lisa R.in an odd dress, which makes sense when we learn that she bought the number during a shopping trip with Erika Jayne. Eileen spills that she spoke to Yolanda about the Munch, and that she is mighty testy about being labeled a loony-bird. We flash back to the scene in time to hear Yolanda fire back that Lisa R’s display in Amsterdam was shocking, and that she would NEVER normally label her bi-polar or unstable, but the cameras are rolling and she just can’t resist. Kyle and Yolanda ride to the party together, and Yolanda revs her tantrum-engines. Lisa R. points out Yo’s obvious self-righteous ass, and Yolanda warns Kyle to keep Lisa’s big lips away from her.

The women arrive, and Yolanda is rocking her signature greasy ponytail, but the women are in luck, because she did shower and wear her white pants that day. Lisa R.is nervous, but greets Yolanda warmly. The women rotate through the wild though unoriginal carnival games, amidst speedo clad men. Eileen thinks that the vibe is weird, especially in her silly  getup.

The women gather around the table, and Lisa R wants to hash out haushen-maushen-gate once and for all. Yolanda is up for it, and orders the women to take their places. Lisa carefully words her approach, obviously trying to convey that she cares about Yolanda, as the women exchange dramatic glances. Lisa tells Yo that if she still had a beef with her after their discussion, she should have let her know, and Yolanda erupts in self-righteous anger.

Yo believes that when you sh*t talk, the ball is in your court, and she dramatically rants that Lisa’s Munchausen accusation was the biggest blow that she had ever experienced in her life. Bigger than your daughter’s DUI? Bigger than a failed marriage and a second one in the works? PLEASE have a seat, Yolanda, and PLEASE wash your hair already!

Yolanda’s ironclad integrity has been questioned, and she doesn’t accept Lisa’s apology. Yolanda prattles off an incorrect Munch definition, and Lisa V. interjects, in defense of accurately defined mental illnesses everywhere. Yolanda pounces like it’s the chance of a lifetime, and continues to rage against both Lisas. Lisa R. is dubbed “The Labeler,” and Erika jumps in, gaining badass courage, bolstered by her paid sideline cheerleaders. Lisa V. jumps in and RULES, blasting Yolanda for whining about being crippled while sprinting around Beverly Hills. Bravo to the formidable Queen Lisa!  Yolanda clarifies, claiming that day to be her one healthy one of the year. Eileen declares the issue gray, but Lisa’s blast puts the Munch-beast in her place. Lisa R. and Yo hug it out, in a fake display of sisterhood.

Next week, Yolanda continues her indignant blabbering, and threatens to expose secrets from her sharp as a tack Lyme-vault. Don’t miss it!

 

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