RECAP: Little Women LA “Sour Apples” [Season 4, Episode 3]

Little Women of L.A. begins with Terra and Tonya washing their dogs. It’s a super random activity, but this show rolls on the same gossip rehashed in different backgrounds, so why not?  Terra wants to vent about last week’s drama, and reminds us that Briana’s sister asked for their help in reconnecting Briana with her family. During Elena’s event, Matt dug in his heels against Briana’s family, and the girls think that Matt is no good. 

We hop over to Briana and Matt’s, where Briana assures us that her sis is a dirty liar, and Matt is a solidly unemployed husband. Matt craps all over Tiana to her sister, and is still peeved about the disgusting midget fetish accusation. 

We check in with Jasmine, who is lunching with her father. Jasmine shares about Chris’s job struggles, and gives us the history behind her successful immigrant father.  Her dad is sweet, and comforts her by offering Chris a job in his restaurant. 

We hop over to random gossip scene #2, where we find Terra and Christy making signs for Terra’s lost cat. Terra wants to bitch-slap Briana for cutting her family out of her future children’s lives, and thinks that Matt is a manipulator. Christy lists all of the ways Briana has changed, including becoming a pint-sized fibber, looking perpetually miserable, and wearing less makeup. They decide to move the gossip over to Jasmine’s…fingers crossed that she has some animal that needs attention. 

Tonya refreshes our memories on several disastrous relationships, and her decision to pursue settling down with her old faithful, Kerwin. Tonya and Kerwin are skyping, and Tonya asks him if there is any chance for a romantic future. Kerwin reminds her of her other boyfriend, and Tonya says that she wants Kerwin to break it off with his girlfriend, to be with her. Tonya informs him that he unconditionally loves her, and she’s dying for his unparalleled fiery passion. Kerwin halfheartedly agrees to maybe entertain the idea. 

Over at Jasmine’s, she and Chris have the discussion about Chris working at the restaurant. Chris isn’t thrilled to give up his railroad dream job, but is willing to give it a shot, to keep his family in the area. We switch gears and join Terra and Tonya, who are shooting guns, to release frustration, and gossip in another setting. Terra is wearing a gaudy Mick Jagger inspired top, as the duo sits down to talk. Tonya shares that Kerwin is headed back into her arms, and Terra and all the Mick-mouths on her shirt yell NOOOO. Tonya reminds Terra that she’s desperate, and that Kerwin likes her more than that chick he’s currently shacked up with. 

Preston and Elena are next, and as Preston surprises his wife with some flowers, Elena fills him in on the drama with Jasmine. The mommy party and the motocross screech-fest are revisited, and viewers are encouraged n not to forget the scorched-earth battle of the mini-blondes. The couple discusses starting a family, because Elena is ready, and wants to be pregnant by the next mom-party. Preston agrees, and it’s a sweet moment. 

Jasmine and Briana are sorting clothes, so the shunned Jasmine can get caught up on the party gossip. Briana informs her that no one cared to talk about her, because everyone was too busy butting their noses into her family biz. Briana explains the situation, and Jasmine hopes that Briana can reconnect with her family. Briana runs down her family’s greatest hits of horror, and breaks down in tears. Jasmine is glad that she is there to listen to Briana vent about her cryptic clan. 

Christy and Todd are house hunting, and check out a house that is dwarf-friendly. Christy likes the place, especially when she sees Todd panting after climbing the stairs, envisioning a built-in stair-master. They decide against it, because panting while holding a baby won’t fly. Todd needs to lose weight, so they don’t have to rule out two-story houses. The girls meet up to pick apples, except Tonya, who notes ancestral reasons for passing on picking anything. Terra shows up, and Tonya begs them to stop yapping about Briana. Amen. Elena passes on the outing, and Jasmine assumes that her presence is the reason. 

Briana arrives, and the apple orchard lady scampers out, grinning like she wants to pinch them all on their cheeks. After blankly staring at the overexcited orchard owner, the group begins picking apples with long poles. The pee-wees can barely lift the poles, but manage to pick a few apples. Terra warns Jasmine about pushing it with Briana, and reminds her that the pressure could wreck their friendship. Tonya gets sick of the tiptoeing around, and blasts Briana for allowing Matt to separate her family. Tonya rants against Matt for keeping children from Briana’s family, and blames Matt for controlling her. Briana misses the point, but is impressed by Tonya’s blaring passion. They all verbally beat Briana into submission, and she finally agrees to think about it. 

I’m on the edge of my seat…will Briana cave, and reconnect with her family? Will Matt get a job? Will Jasmine and Elena ever be in a random gossiping scene together again? Will Terra find her cat?  See you next week! 

 

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